Felt like grieving today... wanted to share

[TaraGrace]

hi Camille,

ok, so I pondered for a whole 10 seconds before replying (it was hell.. the full 10 seconds) and then thought why not

Thanks for posting something like this, and hope I can throw in some motivation and help here too!

Firstly, I did see your recent photo's and girl.. you've got a hell of a lot of features that several of us (including me) would kill for.. not saying you shouldn't feel sad, but please let it not be over your looks! The grass is always greener, and *giggle* I almost spat out my drink seeing Robin's post (thanks Robin as always love the humor touch) but essentially that's a really really good point!

Secondly, and here's where I hope I can help with more then just a compliment..
I have been talking girl talk with the girls for at least 15 years now. (so that 15 minus a month or 2 before discovering there was Tara in here somewhere annoyed as hell I had been neglecting her). Ok, so you need to know I've always thought that I get away with this because I'm bi-sexual, so I'm like a hairdresser gay buddy to them, etc. but then reading your post 'snap' it hit me.. I know this.. they don't.. (or at least the majority didn't in the 15 years).

Yes, if you are tall you wish you were tiny, if you are tiny you wish you had long legs, if you're thin you wish you had boobs, if you're broader you hate the scales, if if if.. etc. perhaps it's the love/hate relationship we all have with appearance etc.etc. but seperate this feeling from social life topics.. hanging out with the girls on their topics is dead easy, you just need to introduce it with baby steps and you'll get there or pretty darn close!

Pick something obvious to start with.. my best advice is a topic something all girls will see, but most guys would not, or at least not comment on.. something like a girl's new haircut/colour.. and in some weeks just build on that.

Literally the last years ANYTHING metro-man will do no matter what your image as long as you give it a spin.
For example 'hi girls, I have a question really fitting 'cough' your department.. can you give me a ladies opinion? I'm looking for a new scent, but not being the biggest sports fan I don't want to get something that screams "hey dude pass the damn ball and the odor blocker" .. so something a bit more refined.. any suggestions what to shop for?

4 out of 5 (if not all) will just die at the chance of giving you THEIR expert experience/opinion.. and voila you are in their turf, asking their opinion on a subject semi related to where you want to be.. so by all means try their suggestion in a shop, come back smelling nice.. values their opinion too and gives you a good pick-up for a similar topic later etc.

Just blend in your 'status' if you will in steps, I mean I have talks about facial cream, compliments back and forth on clothing, relationships, the works.. and guess who's their first stop if they need a guy's opinion? Yep, so I will never get complimented on the makeup they never see, but I settled for the social buzz on large amounts of topics I can fit in and take my compliments on skinny jeans or shoes, and feel very happy in my little hive

ps, as for the softball - I think DeeAnn said it best already.

I'll just throw in that most kids absolutely HATE pushy parents yelling on the side line, (it's so bad here we've even had radio campaigns and celebrities making statements to warn parents in the Netherlands not to do this).
Kids will look for you in a crowd to see you cheer on a good performance, or for a comforting face if something went wrong.. no macho acting needed.. good movie just came to mind 'bad news bears' (yikes, can't believe it's from 1976, just hit google to check).

hugs
x Tara

ps.. and if all else fails from what I wrote.. did I mention you look awesome in your photo's?

[Alice_2014_B]

I get that same feeling, especially when you desire to jump into such conversations.

[joandher]

I had an absolutely stunning lady come to our show room the other day, immaculately dressed with about 4 inch heels on and made up flawlessly her perfume was out of this world with just an occasional whiff in the air i just had to ask her what it was and she told me it was Dior Poison i complemented her and that brought a wonderful smile to her face and then we chatted about life and styles for about 10/15 mins.

She bought what she came for, and then walked out with a smile that was to die for, and head held high and she thanked me for everything that w/e i went out and bought some and been wearing it ever since

That shows that woman will interact and love compliments

[Vickie_CDTV]

I have to disagree about talking about their appearance. One of the first things we learned when I was coming of age and going into the workplace is men talking about a female co-workers' appearance is a big no-no, no matter how innocent it sounds and how innocent you intend it. It is too easy to be misinterpreted and you can end up in hot water for it, no matter how innocent it is (and you are assumed guilty until proven innocent in that kind of situation.) Unless you are friends with them outside of work, I wouldn't risk it. Stick with talking about work or the weather or something.

[christylee_sf]

Camille,

So we are a victim of this image issuse like any other gg. The key is to be ok with our body and appearance. If we feel good about ourselves, then the pretty we will be.

[pamela7]

my experience of that deep sadness led to understanding my gender identity - female. I'm not saying this infers anything about you Camille, but it's worth exploring the feeling's roots.