I'm CD but, I'll never be able to.....

[CarlaWestin]

Maybe this is just for us older girls. Yeah, right. Gurlz.
We just have an enduring passion for being so feminine and we pursue it relentlessly. But, just maybe, like myself, we've come to the mature conclusion that because of our lack of physical youthfulness and societal grooming, we just can't pull it off totaly. I know, reality just sucks sometimes! Well, Honey's, just sigh and post old Carla a list of the things we've concluded that we just can't conquer. It's really more of a curiosity thing for me. A search for knowledge about the older CD'er. But, just maybe, the younger CD's will take heed in lowering their expectations and embrace the reality of their proclivity. A healthy thing, I presume.

OK. Here's my list.

- A birth defect that removed my left pec means that I can never grow breasts and breast implants are out of the question.
- My age and the loose skin on my face make makeup a severe challenge. (even a pro makeover looked theatrical at best)
- Male body structure and mannerisms. Even Caitlyn walks like a man and sits like a dude.
- I'll never be able to grow hair like I had back in the 70's.
- Society just ain't buying it.
- Lazily, it's just easier being a guy.
- I'm guilty of defering to the fetishy things instead of the passing things, eh, mostly.

Alright. I don't want this to be a downer thread so, post your positives, too.

Love you all,
Carla

[Judy-Somthing]

Well a couple of months ago one day (playing dress up) I looked in the mirror and thought "Why am I doing this, I don't look fem at all"

I decided to learn more about makeup.

I first watched as many (Male to Women) an (Female makeovers) on youtube as I could find.

I then bought a lot makeup, well after doing the contouring and blending I thought, Wow this is cool.

And then there's getting the right hairstyle right.

Older women can look great and so can we.

[Allison Chaynes]

Shoulders and muscular arms hurt my presentation, as does the belly that proves I beat anorexia. Then there's the scar down the middle of my 36 yr old chest from heart surgery that draws people's eyes like a laser. Plus I am certain I have no female mannerisms whatsoever. I don't know if any of this will change but I do wear women's jeans, shoes, bras and panties daily without a word ever said to me, and I live in the Bible Belt.

[sometimes_miss]

One thing that I keep in mind; even though I will never be able to pass, there are still GG's that are worse looking than me. And I truly feel bad for them; I can go back to looking like an average sort of guy, and with my height and build, I'm decent looking. But those poor women? They've had to live their lives like that, and it must have been as frustrating as he11 realizing they lost the genetic lottery and would never be as beautiful as they wished they were. At least I had the option to go through life as a somewhat ok looking guy, and, as a guy, got to date some really beautiful women that a lot of lesbians envied the me for (that I know for a fact, having discussed this topic with several). We have to take the bad with the good, and, so often, we forget about the good parts of life.
So. OK. Here goes.
The bad.
I don't stand a snowball's chance in the sun, of passing, ever (unless it's inside a box with a female name on it).
My beautiful, perfect hair from my teens is now gray and sparse.
Arthritis limits my walk to a limp.
They simply don't make men's size 16 cute ladies shoes.
and even if they did, no one could possibly mistake a (with those cute heels) six foot ten, shoulders wide as a house, girl. They just don't exist.

The good.
I've always had perfectly contoured legs. Wearing stockings, they can pass for female (until you realize the size, as there simply aren't a lot of six foot four women with 37 inch inseam legs). As all that's important is what I can see, from my eye's perspective, these legs look terrific and female.
I have a pianists hands, long slender fingers, good skin. With nail polish, they look feminine unless the scale gives them away. As to me they look 'normal' in size, that works just fine.
Weight fluctuations gave me breasts. Medication side effects made them bigger. Now, this is a plus, and a minus. As a guy, they're a liability. As a crossdresser, a blessing. Again, take the bad with the good.
Small genitals. Again, mixed feelings. As a guy, embarrassing through the years, both in front of men and women (a grower not show-er, the ladies didn't seem to be bothered as much as I was). As a crossdresser, wearing panties and there's virtually no sign that I'm a male.
That's all I can think of off the top of my (slowly balding) head.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Not every woman is young and "gorgeous" (meets society's expectations of what is considered attractive), in fact a majority are not. It doesn't disqualify someone from going out dressed and presenting well... passing is another matter, but being mature shouldn't be a hindrance.

My ex-SO was older, quite tall for a woman of her age, had a scar on her chest from surgery, had a bit of a gruff voice, fairly significant hair loss etc... I never saw her in any way shape or form as less of a woman. In all fairness, maybe because I am an introvert and have never been particularly attractive (by society's standards) myself I don't get it.

[Nadine Robles]

IMHO you are just as feminine as you feel like. I've seen there is a wide variety of stages of CDing out there, from jus the fetish for an item of clothing to borderline TS with all the nuances you can imagine in between, and switching from one and other is allowed!

When I was (a lot) younger I used to be bullied so often because of my girly mannerisms and petite body. Strangers called me "miss" over the phone because of my voice. Even the barber use to tell me (as a compliment) that I had the most perfect type of hair for letting it grow if I was a girl. Oh, and not a single body hair till I was 17. And my feelings were mixed but never for a second I doubted my sexuality.
You could say (proudly) that I had to build my manhood from scratch and now I am a fully grown up man who is respected for his accomplishments and attitude towards life. But often wonder what would have happened if the pink fog had kicked in earlier, could I had become a TG or TS? who knows!.
being in girl mode now I know awakes different responses (I'm not out but Ive shared with some people before). Some find it just plain disgusting, and some (mostly men) have complimented me as looking as feminine and sexy as a real girl can be. So it depends. All it matters is how I see myself an how I see myself when dressed is as a pretty girl. It will always be like that even when I grow older and my hair stars to fall and my body to lose its shape.

[Sky]

Age brings experience brings confidence.

When I was young I was probably (not 100% in any way) closer to a female presentation. Thinner body, tighter skin, you name it. But I was constantly worried about how I looked, how my voice sounded, etc.

Now I know I'll never look like a gg, but screw that. I laugh at myself and at pretty much everything. And it works for me.

[Jamie Christopher]

Sky that is a great attitude we both share! I just have fun with it and enjoy everybody, well said,

Jamie

[CallmeAlice]

I kinda experience this myself too, even as a younger crossdresser (18). To began I'm just built to look more like a guy. Yeah there's times when I can pull it off, but even with that you can still see my arm muscles just the little bit that is there and crossing sometimes makes it more prominent. Another thing is, I grow facial hair way to fast. I usually don't shave, mainly because I'm lazy and I don't go out in public as Alice. When I do shave, by the end of the night you can start to see some hairs starting to grow. In high school I ran cross country and track so my legs are huge, so when I cross my legs also makes it obvious. *sigh* the limitations....

[Teresa]

Carla,
It depends what you are comparing with and how much you just want to be out. I will admit I have the same thoughts, the eye comment made me smile, at one time all it needed was a smear of colour to look OK . Now I put some on and it disappears in another wrinkle that wasn't there last week , so I put more on , where did that go ? Put more on then wham it's too much , so you smear and blend trying to make it right, now you have the problem of making the other eye look the same !

Just to relate to the story I posted about the funny side of CDing, when the lady in the charity shop saw my picture said she wished she could look as good as that when she went out !
I still love wearing heels, but my feet don't, pesky arthritis !
I've arrived at this point a little late in the day, so I'm not going to give up on it yet , it still feels so good despite the few extra wrinkles !

[Eryn]

A few years ago I felt the same way. My face, body, and height seemed to preclude any possibility of passing.

Well, GD wouldn't let it stay that way. I started going out and went out more and more. I was lucky to have friends for whom "I can't do that" isn't in their vocabulary. I made mistakes and learned from them. I pushed myself to interact with people as much as I could. I learned how to behave as a woman by observation and by taking good advice from friends. Electrolysis and HRT has rounded out my craggy face a bit and given me A-cup breasts that will pass in a tight T-shirt. Otherwise, silicone to the rescue! I will never be shorter, but at least I am memorable! Nobody forgets me once they meet me! No, I'm not a perfect woman, but people remember me as a woman and that is what counts.

While he was portraying Cyrano de Bergerac, John Gielgud arrived late at the theater. The curtain was about to go up and there wasn't time to apply Cyrano's famous elongated nose. Geilgud waved it off, saying "I'll act the nose!" And he did.

[Samantha2015]

Carla, we are so alike I thought maybe I had written your post. Even down to the pec issue (right side for me)
My big man hands even with girly press on nails will not fool anyone.
I'll probably never have all the mannerisms down either.
But I still have fun trying to girl it up and probably always will, no matter how I look.

[docrobbysherry]

Carla, I don't move much like a female. Altho, I've learned to walk and dance fairly well in heels.

And, I rarely feel like one. I've been a regular guy for the first 50 years of my life. And, am quite used being one. Facial hair, sloppy jeans, casual dress, etc.

But, even tho I'm a 70 y/o CD, I still use every trick I know to look like an attractive, younger female. It's a lot of work but, I do it for ME!

[Donnagirl]

Don't be so hard on yourself... Just dress and get out. This modern world seems to care less about us. I'm old, bald, wrinkly, too tall, big armed, wide shouldered, deep voiced.... You name it, but I'm living out there 24/7.

[SHY KIM]

Carla has some good points. The nice thing about us mature girls is life experience. It helps us make up for the youth age robbed us of.
While passing is on everyone's wish list, so few of us girls can pull it off. What I think most of us are drawn to is creating an image. Everyone will have a different perspective of that image. Yours is the one that matters most! Hopefully we can adjust to our strengths, overcome our weaknesses and enjoy! Were lucky to be drawn towards crossdressing. The few, the proud, the sexy!

[audreyinalbany]

I mentioned this earlier on a different thread....I get the sense that many, many genetic women, even the ridiculously attractive ones, manage to find things about their appearance they don't like. I think we gender fluid individuals need to be kinder to ourselves.

[Maria Blackwood]

I enjoy the way it feels. Don't care about passing because I keep it private. My reaction to crossdressing is visceral. Something deep inside me responds to it, and I feel so decompressed and liberated while dressed. I just avoid mirrors. ;-)

[Barbara Jo]

We all must keep in mind that even GGs can have problems that effect their appearance and health etc.

Just the other day, I was grocery shopping and I saw a woman who was just about bald.....with extremely sparse hair growth.
She wore no hat and did not try to hide it,
In fact she was joking and laughing with a friend she evidently met there.

[Piora]

Interesting thread. I find myself wishing that I had embraced my desire to dress as a woman when I was in my teens and twenties, when I had a nice, unsaggy face, no wrinkles, and no 'spare tire'. I think with practice, I could have mastered makeup, and managed to pass as a girl. However, it was not until I reached my thirties and forties that I finally gave in to my feminine desires. However, I was married, and the idea of being caught (my ex would never have understood) stood in my way for many years, and I was extremely closeted, and terrified of being caught. Now, in my sixties, I live alone, can buy whatever I wish, and dress whenever I want. And I do. But when I look in the bathroom mirror, I see a face that cannot possibly be made even close to feminine. So, when I dress, and look at myself in my full-length mirror, I carefully place the angle, so that my reflection only shows from the neck down.

To think what might have been. Oh well. Life is what you make it.

[Barbara Jo]

One good thing about getting older is that males and females tend to get "gender neutral' as they get older, as least as far as facial appearances are concerned..
This means females start to look a bit more masculine and males tend to look a bit more feminine .
Some older woman look rather masculine.

So, as we get older, it is accepted that we will not not look as feminine as a younger lady would.
if you have a reasonably female build and face...... and are blessed with sparse facial hair, you can usually more easily pass as a a female as you get older.

BTW.. ...
I once met an older CD who was a bit dismayed about her loose neck skin.
She was found of saying in a self knocking way, "I have a chicken neck ".
However, I pointed out that because of her loose neck skin, that many older females of her age also had, the loose skin also hid her Adams apple nicely.
Her overall appearance was quite feminine and natural for a woman of her age.

When all is said and done, I guess we are all our own worst critic.

[MeDeanna]

Well, my bra straps are inching their way down my shoulders this morning. I notice that as I rub the dry, wrinkled skin on my elbows.

Taking the good with the bad. My goal for today is to find a cute pair of flats.

I love being me.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Carla, I'm 73 and I've been in this program for 69yrs. now.
I just feel that I just keep getting better, I'm having way too much fun to let things get me down. ~~......

[tiffanynjcd24]

Im a younger cd and i am willing to learn from older cds. By the way i started dressing when i was young

[Jenny22]

Hi, ladies.
I'm an 'elderly.' In the 1940s, though a boy, my innermost feelings were feminine, but other then the rare occasion to try to get a little pretty, I never was able to express my true self. There was no one to talk to. I thought I was the only one in the world with such feelings. I sometimes wish I had been born 60 years later. I'd be 20 y/o, now, and able to express my youthful feminine side in a way not possible way back then. I'm sure many other elder ladies in this forum feel much the same. Alas, we do what we can, now.

[Ally 2112]

The one positive thing i have found about getting older is im way more accepting with my dressing .I may not look pretty i just feel pretty