Shopping Trip? Nervous? Me? Erm... yes!

[AnnaMarie]

So, we'd planned this for a few weeks. Michelle78 and I decided it was about time that we saw the world as Anna and Michelle and yesterday we had a few hours in our local shopping centre. We've both ventured out before but not in front of so many people at once. So were we nervous? Yes! Did we get read? Yes. Did we care? Well, yes, we did! But, thinking back to our adventure yesterday and the fact that both of us are only out to a select number of people (in my case only my brother) I think we were rather daring! We did most of the high street stores - New Look, Dorothy Perkins, House Of Fraser, M&S, Primark, Quiz, Debenhams, Next. We also had a coffee in Starbucks (I ordered and didn't get read - or she was being very polite) and later lunch in Costa (again ordering didn't get read or very polite). When you think about all the things you need to do to keep the look of being female - the walk, the posture, the outfit, your actions, your voice it's kind of a wonder anyone passes! As I said though we did get read a few times but in front of several hundred people I wouldn't expect anything else. Sadly it's quite disconcerting when the first time is within seconds of walking into the place. On the other hand, mingling with other GG's looking at clothes, walking past SA's no one even gave a second glance! So plenty of positives to come away with.

I find it interesting when people say within minutes the nerves went and they were happy out and about. My nerves didn't go until I was back in the car. Still head up, don't make eye contact, keep your confidence and you are fine! Of course it helps if you don't have a beard and wear something fitting for the adventure! No pink spandex for me yesterday!

What I hadn't counted on was the wind and who ever was in the car park on our way back to the car got a right eye full during my 'Marilyn Monroe' moment! Eekk!

Would we do it again? Hell yes. it's the only way to build confidence!

[iTz Janet]

Anna! I'm proud of you and your friend. That's sounds nerve racking!!!! You made it though. I look forward to hearing more of your experiences. I hope to find someone to go with.

Xoxoxox

Janet 💃🏽 💚

[AnnaMarie]

Anna! I'm proud of you and your friend. That's sounds nerve racking!!!! You made it though. I look forward to hearing more of your experiences. I hope to find someone to go with.

Xoxoxox

Janet ���� ��

Thanks Janet, I've made friends on here with a couple of other ladies and we now try and meet whenever we can whether it be for coffee, a natter, a night out. It's just great to have friends to natter to

[kittie60]

Were all proud of you Anna and.Michelle. the nerves can strike any time, but you two did great. Like you said head up and go for it. It's your moment and don't let anything discourage you.
Excellent job best to the two of you

[Sarah Louise]

I think you and Michelle were very brave. Revel in the positives and don't worry about the negatives. If it was that bad, you wouldn't do it again would you?

[Karen RHT]

Kudos to the pair of you AnnaMarie, well done. Thanks for expressing your thoughts and feelings so candidly.


Karen

[Tara Rushing]

You go girl! So brave! Love your story. Please keep us posted on your next outing!!

[Jenniferathome]

One disagreement for you: DO make eye contact. And smile. THAT is part f the confidence factor or "owning it"

[jenniferinsf]

Annamarie Thanks for sharing ...what a wonderful adventure

[AnnaMarie]

I think you and Michelle were very brave. Revel in the positives and don't worry about the negatives. If it was that bad, you wouldn't do it again would you?

Already planning the next one Sarah

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[Ally 2112]

I have to say way to go ! AnnaMariie

[Krististeph]

I do not know the UK, but in my (not so humble) experience:

Shop like you are doing so for economic reasons: Money/quality. It may take some effort but ignore any of the other patrons. You are getting this for you. Your money is exactly the same at the others- the 'straights' as you might call them. Money is money, and any good retailer understands that and supports it.

Jennifer- i skip eye contact- people are different.

Anna and Michelle- look 1/2 inch or 1 centimeter below the eye if you need to, to avoid contact. This helps as you segue into full contact. Jennifer is extremely confidant- and I love her for it- but you must engage at your own current level.

But without a doubt- own the place. You are not guests, you are not customers, you are not clients, you are not even patrons, and you are not even partners. You are owners. Discreet, introverted, but yes owners.

Your money makes the place exist. be confident, but never be oppressive.

[Teresa]

AnneMarie,
I'm glad you gave it a go and will do it again, getting read is probably more in your mind, besides people really aren't that bothered , they don't know the difference between a CDer and a TS when you're out in public view.

I had to smile at your comment about being caught by the wind, I had a similar experience when going to my recycle bin, skirt lifted to my waist, stocking tops in full view !

[irene9999]

Good for you! The first time is always exciting and intimidating but it's better than dressing indoors, even better that you went out with another CD

[Helen_Highwater]

Anna,

"We also had a coffee in Starbucks (I ordered and didn't get read - or she was being very polite) and later lunch in Costa (again ordering didn't get read or very polite)"

It's as likely the second, being polite as not getting read; but hey does it matter. If people are going to treat you with respect, accepting, not be judgmental then that's just fine. Isn't that what we talk about here so often. Being able to go about our business and for no-one to bat an eyelid?

It is nerve racking taking those first steps into the daylight muggle world, but hey it can't have been too bad if looking at the number of shops you went in is anything to go by. As for the eye contact thing. There are definitely times when you do need to make eye contact, certainly when engaging with SA's. Not doing so makes you look furtive and almost ashamed of being there and YOU'RE NOT, RIGHT!

After all, if you looked even half as good as you look here:

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...t=#post3882270

you have absolutely nothing to worry about.

Helen

[renellecd]

Anything new for the first time is going to test one's nerves. Im new to shopping for feminine attire. My last experience is a story of one mall and two similar shops. I had already decided i would tell the assistants that items were for myself. The first shop....well she was horrified....gave me a look followed by "not for you!"
I smiled at her and looked her straight in the eyes. I let the smile linger. I smiled some more. "Well thank you anyway." I left quite elated at how i dealt with that.
2nd shop. Nice dress. Told her it was for me....waited for her response....."changing room is there, would you like to try it on?"
She made my day. Next time, i might not be nervous at all.

[bridget thronton]

Well done ladies - thanks for sharing

[Katey888]

Good for you, girls...

Keeping the North of England retail figures pumped for January...

I can only express a little disappointment at one thing... Primark.... Primark...????

I'm sure you'll be out again soon... Thanks for sharing the experience

Katey x

[Claire Cook]

Way to go Anna! And it will get better and better. I still get a rush when I leave the house, but that just adds to the fun. Do take Jennifer's advice -- eye contact and a a smile should be de rigeur -- not only do they build confidence, it makes others more comfortable with you ... which of course makes you more comfortable.

[binair10]

Glad that you enjoyed your trip out. Now that you have done your `local shopping centre` and were read, why not try a different town ans see what reaction you get there.

You did not say which day of the week it was. If it was a saturday then great. But if you did a weekday you may blend in easier.

How about trying a large supermarket next time. Then perhaps you may blend in better as wives/mothers.

What ever you both do or go do enjoy yourselves.

Julie.

[Samantha981]

Anna, glad your trip out went well and ready to do it again! I am still a bit new to going out in public first time was just over a year ago. I too relax a bit when I get back in the car. That is OK I think. While walking through the mall I look up (and try to remember to smile) but don't make eye contact. When in stores I do make eye contact, other patrons and SA's. From a distance I and in the crowd no one is paying enough attention to read me . When in stores, and conversing with SA's am certain most read me but they don't care, they offer what they can do to help, what am I looking for, and dressing rooms are over there if I want to try something on.

I do feel like I'm being watched all the time... I think that is me being paranoid. That said, the first few times I did not know any better and wore a couple dresses that were fun to buy and wear - I would call them cocktail dresses - so fun, sexy, short - and NOT appropriate for the mall ! And at 5'9" or so and 4" heels - I think I was being watched and made! But we all learn, right? Now I dress for shopping at the mall, blend in and am not noticed In the crowd.

Last time I was out a couple approached me while I was stopped and looking at my phone and asked me "excuse me, miss, are those your children?". There were two unattended kids... we found the parents near by. Made my heart warm and happy

Look forward to hearing about your next adventure!

[Michelle 78]

Thanks Girls for all the lovely replies to our trip out!!!

It's fair to say myself and Anna were nervous!

Getting made wasn't nice, and getting made as soon as we walked in destroyed my confidence and I thank Anna for being there for me as I would have bottled it after that, but looking back now we have drawn a lot of positives from our first trip into the Mall and we are going to do it again soon, because as Anna rightly said this is the only way to overcome the nerves!

I feel that it was a huge step for us both to be walking around a busy shopping centre and having the nerve to go in and out of stores, have coffee and have lunch as our female selves and we even used the ladies!

Sure we got made a couple of times, but we passed a heck of a lot more and walking around M&S and New Look etc as a woman felt amazing!! I was really scared and frightened even at some points during the day I admit, but at least next time it won't be totally into the unknown.

Michelle

By the way Katey, we didn't buy anything from Primark you'll be pleased to hear!! We're a little bit more classier than that! LOL

[DaphneMiller]

Hi Anna and Michelle,
Sounds like you had a great day.
I was considering a trip to the Metro Centre at Newcastle, and was wondering if that's where you enjoyed your day out? Or are you not as far north as that...

Daphne
x

[Tara Rushing]

By the way Katey, we didn't buy anything from Primark you'll be pleased to hear!! We're a little bit more classier than that! LOL

I feel like I'm on the outside of an inside British joke here?!?!?!?!

[AnnaMarie]

Hi Anna and Michelle,
Sounds like you had a great day.
I was considering a trip to the Metro Centre at Newcastle, and was wondering if that's where you enjoyed your day out? Or are you not as far north as that...

Daphne
x

Hi Daphne,
No we were at Meadowhall for our day out this time.
There will be others though!