What do you think?

[dothis]

Hi My name is Karen and recently I have become very interested in cd possibly intensely so.

Some background:

I am 50, fit- athletic, healthy, financially secure, somewhat hairy man who since I was in my early 20's have put on female underwear. This is not all the time but it has been a frequent thing over the years. I have tucked my pits back when putting on the panties without knowing it was called tucking. I have put on dresses at home of my girlfriends or wives and though that I would make a dame good looking women as in my body shape, if it wasn't for all the hair.

I have on many occasions gone to work wearing lacy black panties, very daring (I can hear your laughs).

So now these desires have become strangely very strong, with the thought of going all the way- SRS. I have looked at the websites, the youtube videos, the written stories, the photos and I have been amazed at what can be done. Those man-made [edit...body parts] look pretty real.

However I do not think for one moment that I am a female trapped inside a male's body.

Now hear is my question for you to kindly comment on.

What are the merits of changing from male to female (SRS) completely, so to physically and mentally feel what it would be like to be a women from the bases of fully experiencing life before we check out (die)?
Changing just because the technology and medical techniques exist so that we can. To be able to go to the beach in a bikini, to go to an all female sauna- health club, to go shopping for dresses. To do all those things that a man can not do. To experience the other 50% of life. However I do understand that in my case my past would be completely wiped, were everyone and everything that I now and did would be lost (SRS does not occur in family). And that is a very heavy price to pay.

What are your thoughts and remember - be nice.

[Dana44]

Welcome to the forum. Ah, you don't really need to do the SRS to do girly stuff like saunas and fem stuff. You can do those as a boy/girl. Even get a Brazilian wax job. I would say look at the threads and the TS threads. But being a cross dresser we can do every thing. You will read a lot of those stories in the threads.

[Candice June Lee]

Hi Karen, welcome to the forum.
Our local support group touched on this a bit last night. Some said, the gay if they had known the emotional toll certain losses world have had on them, they may not have completely transitioned. Fetish and the reality of transitioning are two different things. I do suggest you do some serious soul searching before doing anything. See a counselor and make sure you are ready. I cannot say what your level of CD/trans is. But it's an emotional rollercoaster long before any physical transitions begin, that's just leaving the house in a dress, and much more before hrt and or srs. Many others can attest to the barriers emotions and all the other things that can happen/ will happen. It's best you learn it before you decide anything.
I'm not bad mouthing you so please don't take any offense. It's just reality and life. I do wish you well on the correct journey.

[Lorileah]

However I do not think for one moment that I am a female trapped inside a male's body.

Personally, you aren't transsexual, so those changes wouldn't be of any value. Somehow, I get the feeling you think all that is a lark and something like getting a tattoo. We can't stop you from changing, but honestly I don't think you know anything about it.

What are the merits of changing from male to female (SRS) completely, so to physically and mentally feel what it would be like to be a women from the bases of fully experiencing life before we check out (die)?
Changing just because the technology and medical techniques exist so that we can. To be able to go to the beach in a bikini, to go to an all female sauna- health club, to go shopping for dresses. To do all those things that a man can not do. To experience the other 50% of life. However I do understand that in my case my past would be completely wiped, were everyone and everything that I now and did would be lost (SRS does not occur in family). And that is a very heavy price to pay.

What are your thoughts and remember - be nice.

I think you are caught an the "pink fog" as we call it here. Keep it as a fantasy. Having the surgery won't change your mind or who you think you are in this case.

[Teresa]

Karen,
I've checked your profile but you don't say where you're based.
As far as the UK is concerned transition within the NHS is a lengthy one and not obviously done on a whim, I can't speak for the US but as it's mostly private I'd assume if your pocket is deep enough you could have it done but I don't know if you would still have to go through the full assessment procedure, but I would still doubt it's done totally on a whim.
It's very easy to be caught up in living your life through someone else and assume it's a bed of roses ! When I had these thoughts I likened it to stepping in a black hole , personally I said I would lose a great deal in return for a compromised life style, I guess feeling like that proved I wasn't TS, but there is always that BUT and IF !
As for asking what the merits are ? As I say your profile reveals very little , so would you be risking losing the support of a partner and family as you pose in the last paragraph ?

I would say you need to take a while and read the various sections when you've passed the ten post rule, this forum is an education and an eye opener ! At the moment you don't appear to a have a clear idea of where you are on the TG spectrum.

[NicoleScott]

Karen, is the entirety of your crossdressing panties and dresses? There is so much more to explore and enjoy for male-identified crossdressers.
Shave the hair. Lots of men (CDer or not) do it. I know a man who has no leg hair (he doesn't shave it, just doesn't have any), and I have never heard a comment about it.
Expand your wardrobe: skirts, tops, dresses, shapewear, pantyhose/stockings, high heels, or whatever interests you. Specialty outfits like maid, schoolgirl, cheerleader, bride, etc.
Wigs, so many styles, lengths, textures, colors, allow drastic changes in your look.
Makeup, jewelery, fake nails, eyelashes, accessories.
Crossdressing in private comes with no rules. Please yourself.
Enjoy being a crossdresser. SRS isn't just another activity CDers can do to experience femininity.

[pamela7]

Hello Karen, welcome to our community.

My immediate reaction is that a sex change is not a cosmetic surgery for lifestyle experience, and that there is such a spectrum of CD possible why transition without being female inside? The health consequences and possibly emotional consequences would be profound. I'm not sure any surgeon would actually perform the SRS without the GD diagnosis first, anyway, even privately.

I suspect many members of the transsexual community would feel this type of behaviour would devalue and possibly cause damage to the lives of other transitioners, creating another hurdle to pass to prove its not a lifestyle choice.

Another possibility is that you might actually be female inside but not know it from your present self's perspective. A lot of introspection (years) might give insight here.

Anyway, conduct experiences and thought experiments for sure, and don't rush into that which cannot be undone.

xxx Pamela

[ReineD]

I have tucked my pits back when putting on the panties without knowing it was called tucking. I have put on dresses at home of my girlfriends or wives and though that I would make a dame good looking women as in my body shape, if it wasn't for all the hair.

You don't describe how you felt when you did these things. Was it exciting? Did it enhance sexual arousal?

And why did you attach the adjective "good looking" to your sentence above. Would you also have wanted to look like a woman if she wasn't good looking in the sense that I imagine you mean ... for example a fairly typical middle aged woman (you are 50), with graying hair, sagging boobs (this happens to women in their 50s ), a thickening waist, cellulite, varicose veins, wrinkles forming on the face with jowls beginning to sag, a typical aging woman starting menopause who doesn't attract admiration from men the way she did when she was younger. Middle aged women tend to disappear. Would you find this as enticing?

Also you mention having had multiple girlfriends and wives. How do you feel about the prospect of no longer being able to perform sexually with them, in the traditional sense. Do you think that your libido would be unaffected should you have SRS.

These are important things to think about.

[Amy Lynn3]

Hi Karen:
You have already gotten some good advise. Many here have been on this site for years. During that time we have followed people who have had SRS, by way of emails and Skype. Knowing what I now know about transitioning I would recommend you follow some of the threads written here about the experience others have had.

It has been so long since I joined I really can't remember what forums you can open, without having a minimum of 10 post. That might be a goal of yours, while here is to reach 10 post. When you do have 10 post and the remainder of Discussion Topics open up to you I am sure you will appreciate all the information about transitioning.

While here always pay particular attention to what Reine tells you. You will be amazed at the amount of wisdom packed in that pretty head of hers.

[DianeDeBris]

Karen - there's much wisdom in these responses. I'd only add that you will not find a medical provider in the USA or Canada who would get involved with any of the hormonal care in the absence of a well-documented GID diagnosed by (at least) a qualified gender therapist; and no surgeon would perform any part of SRS surgery with an additional, supervised and documented full year of Real Life Experience. It matters not at all who's paying for the care. Bottom line: what you're asking about is a big deal, it's real and it is flat-out serious.
Hugs - Diane

[dothis]

Hi ladies,
Firstly many thanks for your replies filled with care and wisdom. Much appreciated.
Yes my profile is a bit scant so some further information. I am from Sydney, Australia. Male who has always been interested and acted out these feelings. I have never gone out dressed as a women, I would need some serious laser work done for that to occur.
I do understand, although not completely, that changing from male to female will have its deep psychological challengers. That's a given.
But the motivation is to experience in the last half of my life what it is like to be the other sex. Seen that I have fantasized about it for some 30 years now.
In one post it was asked if I would miss the male appendage? The answer would be no (but it is always easy to say that), as I have tried to hide it many times over the years.
Yes I do wonder how it would feel to have sex as a women.
Yes there are many things to consider but as I consider, time is always passing by.
regards
Karen

[Teresa]

Karen,
I'm almost 65 and have just had gender counselling to answer the same question, I found it helped by writing my whole history down and also worked out a gender sheet trying to work through the levels from male to female, answering honestly and I found I stop just short of transition on the male side. The sheet also made it clear how important the way CDing started for me. I worked all this information through with my counsellor and she found it was OK .
I personally needed to know these things for my own peace of mind and to be able to explain it to my wife and family, they know what I live with and what my needs are , they now give me my space or my CDing and accept I now attend a social group.
The difference with me is I know I partially dress to attract women, I'm attracted to women as a guy but more so when dressed this goes back to how my CDing started, I use the term male lesbian , which my counsellor was also OK with.

It is scary that time is passing by, but now I accept that CDing is for life and intend to enjoy it at long last for as long as I can .

[arbon]

The transition part can cost friends, relationships with loved ones, employment , medical expenses.
It is usually a very difficult process to go through. A lot of women get pretty beaten up by it.

And on the other side Life as a post op transsexual is not easy. It can pretty hard and lonely

And sex? Maybe if your lucky.

It is not everything you fantisize. It's not what you think.

I cringe when someone says it is there fantasy. Really if that is all it is and you don't have to do it because you are a women and want to get it fixed I can't understand why you would consider it.

[nvlady]

You said you would like to go shopping for dresses and all the things that a man cannot do. Have you read any of the posts here about shopping in drab? A lot of the girls here do it on a regular basis.

[Robin414]

What are the merits of changing from male to female (SRS) completely, so to physically and mentally feel what it would be like to be a women from the bases of fully experiencing life before we check out (die)?
Changing just because the technology and medical techniques exist so that we can. To be able to go to the beach in a bikini, to go to an all female sauna- health club, to go shopping for dresses. To do all those things that a man can not do. To experience the other 50% of life.

Hi Karen, I totally get the idea of experiencing life 'completely' by spending half in one gender and the other...as the...well...the other! It's I think a highly enlightened thought, but realistically probably a little ahead of its time (ya, I've thought a LOT about it myself). I'm beginning to realize (with a lot of self reflection) that I'm happily 'tween, gender fluid, Zoolander 😅 )...going 'all in' I don't think is something to take lightly

[dothis]

Hi Robin,
YOU GET IT.
Thankyou so much
I do agree with you, a tad ahead of time. this way you get the full human experience this way.
regards
Karen

[Nikkilovesdresses]

Hi Karen- welcome. My reading of Robin's response is that while she sees your point, (and I think we all see your point: it isn't hard to understand), she implies that you seem to be taking gender reassignment rather lightly.

This is more or less everyone's response, some a little blunter than others.

It's your body- you do what you like with it. But I'd suggest you read as much as possible in the TS section (and you may need 10 posts to access it, not sure) because there are some very deep psychological and physical consequences to what you're contemplating, and I too feel uneasy- you seem to treat the subject rather casually.

I hope these replies have given you something to think about- good luck with making the right decision.

[Joni T]

Just remember that SRS is not reversable.
Jon

[sometimes_miss]

Just remember that SRS is not reversable.
Jon

Well......it sort of is, but you don't exactly wind up the way you started. There was one such person who went MTF, then FTM, I know it was on the tabloid tv shows a while ago. Doesn't mean anyone should consider it like changing a tire, though. I think this is the same person, but I'm not completely sure:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...k-operate.html

[Jenniferathome]

.... However I do not think for one moment that I am a female trapped inside a male's body...

This isn't like taking up a new hobby. You can't "try it out."

[Beverley Sims]

Karen,
Recently become interested......
I would experiment a little longer to find what your real interests are.
Female trapped in......
This and other questions have been answered previously by other posters.

Have fun on the forum and consider what your values and goals are in being here.

[Debra Russell]

Try to experience dressing and refining your look so as not to scare anyone - go out see how it feels - being a crossdresser is all about the experience and if you feel comfortable in that roll maybe you found a way that will fulfill your goals..................................Debra

[Joni T]

I once felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. Then I was born.
Jon

[Tina_gm]

I can only echo what many others are saying here. You have a long, long way to go at the very least. Is there a day you may transition? maybe, but right now you are not ready.

[Taylor186]

I have never gone out dressed as a women, I would need some serious laser work done for that to occur.

All you really need is a razor. Takes some time but for most of us it is totally reversible.