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Thread: Pre versus Post Orgasm Need to Dress?

  1. #1
    Silver Member
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    Dec 2007
    Northeast USA

    Pre versus Post Orgasm Need to Dress?

    Just wondering for those who get at least somewhat aroused by dressing do you lose all interest post orgasm? Is the desire the same or just slightly less? This is an area that I am exploring with my therapist and I wonder how others feel. For me the need does diminish most times but not for very long. Does anyone feel turned off by dressing at that point? Thanks for sharing.

  2. #2
    Senior Member 2B Natasha's Avatar
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    Oct 2008
    Seattle, WA
    In the past. Yes. I did feel almost disgusted with myself. Take it all off and tell myself that it was bad and I should feel bad about it. Hang my head n shame. Try and pack it all away or sometimes go so far as to throw a certain item away that I was fixated on. That was then. I don't feel that way any more for a couple of reason. Which I won't go into. But I did in the past and I do not now.
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same

  3. #3
    MtF Transgender
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    100 km from Montreal, Quebec.
    When I dress I usually have little or no sexual urge; on the rare times that I do, it's not related to the dressing but more likely because it's been several days since I last had an orgasm and if going "solo" I most likely will fantasize on something completely different from the dressing, usually about having sex with my wife. Dressing usually takes the edge off and when dressed, I can actually postpone orgasm for a day or two longer than usual. I just feel more "me" when dressed and it's a nice feeling but not as much sexual one. If I should orgasm before dressing either solo or after intimacy, to a certain extent the urge to dress afterwards goes away but only briefly. I admit when I dressed in my 20s, a session was much more likely to end with self-gratification like Natasha and with the same feelings. Now dressing just seems like a natural part of my personality (I'm in my 50s). NOT dressing does result in intense frustration though, at least when I'm in the mood to dress. I can go for long periods of being mostly on the male side of the spectrum, my gender is somewhat fluid, and varies from 60/40 male/female to 60/40 female/male, with the latter being the most usual. And in when I'm in the latter mood, as I am now, I need to dress at least several times a week and I wear panties 24/7, the latter with my wife's approval and support, the rest DADT.

    I do think however, that this will vary from person to person, age, where we we are on the gender spectrum, the basic etiology of our CDing, etc.

  4. #4
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    There is no right or wrong answer. Everyone has their own way of addressing the arousal crossdressing can bring, and some CDers say there is no sexual connection. So it doesn't matter what other people do. But if you're just curious, when I'm done, I'm done. But it's not out of shame and's just over for now. I'm meticulous about cleaning up and putting everything away, ready for next time. That is certainly not a loss of interest.

  5. #5
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    The state of flux, U.S.A.
    Most of what JeanTG wrote also applies to me. Dressing up doesn't set off any sexual urges, nor does feeling horny initiate the desire to dress up. But there are times when I experience both together. The fantasy never seemed to change depending on whether I'm dressed as a girl or boy. After self satisfaction it doesn't alter the desire to stay dressed up. Hope that answers your question.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    Northern Georgia
    The "need" to dress does vary before and after orgasm. This is natural and due to the effect of neurotransmitters in your brain.

    As you stimulate yourself your brain releases dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin and other feel good neurotransmitters. Dopamine levels peak with orgasm and then the prolactin kicks in. Prolactin is the neurotransmitters associated with the pulling away response post orgasm. For a short period after orgasm you no longer feel the dopamine influence. Then the prolactin wears away and you are back to your old cross-dressing self.

    This all seems to suggest to me that crossdressing is a biological condition, and not just a psychological one. Your brain is interpreting cross-dressing as actual contact with a female, and responding by releasing appropriate neurotransmitters. Now most men can wear women's clothing and not get the same response. Their brains will not release the neurotransmitters, but ours do... I believe this indicates that sometime in our early brain development (synaptogenesis) we made neural connections between feminine articles and identity.

    Please note: Getting aroused from dressing is not why we do the dressing. We do the dressing because we need to feel the good sensations from these neurotransmitters. Even if I never use crossdressing to arouse myself, I would still get sensations of comfort, well-being and self authentication from doing so.
    Last edited by Confucius; 02-01-2016 at 11:56 AM.

  7. #7
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK
    I don't get aroused by dressing. What I have noticed is that if I'm dressing for an extended period, 8-10 hours or longer. there is no desire for any sexual "pleasuring" once the time to go drab arrives. However if my dressing time is limited to a short period 1-2 hrs say, then self gratification is a way of nutralising my disappointment at having to return to drab prematurely. It draws a line under the proceedings.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  8. #8
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    really? You want to know other's sexual habits? (Stay in the rulez, keep it clean and for the love of Mike NO DETAILS)
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
    Chief Joseph
    Nez Perce

    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    It's been a while since you've posted but it's an opportune time and you describe it exactly how it is with me.
    My dressing started with a bang just as you described I was about nine years old, it tied the male female side together with my sexual needs.
    To answer Sara's question initially the male side would be satisfied and the clothes discarded, but then the need returns, now I stay dressed the male/female side is satisfied.
    I will admit that wanting sex when dressed is beginning to become annoying, but can't be resisted , the clothes mean more to me now than the sexual part.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member MelanieAnne's Avatar
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    Jun 2014
    I used to lose interest in CDing for several days after. Now, it's just for a couple hours, if at all.
    Last edited by MelanieAnne; 02-01-2016 at 02:14 PM.

  11. #11
    New Member AshleyJames's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Wayne, New Jersey
    Confucius your post makes so much sense, very interesting insight.

    Also, as Natasha had mentioned, in my early and mid 20's I had similar feelings, but as I grew up and learned to accept and love myself I realized that I had no reason to hate myself or feel disgusted, this is a part of me and this is who I am.
    So instead of trying to shape and mold myself into what I thought others wanted me to be, and being miserable, I focused on shaping up myself in a way that I could be happy with.
    That said, I used to feel different pre vs post, but at this point I don't.

  12. #12
    Adyson Saikotsu's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2014
    I don't get aroused from dressing, but I have noticed that afterwards, my gender identity often fluctuates. Generally speaking, the desire to dress as my internal gender dictates remains constant, but the internal identity doesn't. I usually end up wearing a different outfit afterwards than the one I was wearing before.

  13. #13
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Quote Originally Posted by Sarasometimes View Post
    Just wondering for those who get at least somewhat aroused by dressing do you lose all interest post orgasm?
    For me, it is a very strong arousal. However, it's only when I have on lingerie or stockings/garterbelt etc. that it happens. Sometimes, I will fully dress afterward, but in more conservative attire, just to lounge around in. Other times, afterwards, I lose interest for a couple of hours.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 02-27-2016 at 03:26 PM. Reason: don't question the mods
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  14. #14
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    My dressing is not sexual.

  15. #15
    New Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2011
    No, I feel good wearing female clothing no matter my sexual state. From the feel of the bra to my panties to the sweep of my long skirt across the tops of my feet, it all feels great. If i do need to gratify myself sexually it's within that context and i have no shame or disgust. My life continues as normal afterwards(with a little help from Kleenex) and my dress stays on. My wife agrees with that as well. As she says soiled lingerie is what washing machines are for.


  16. #16
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2013
    New Zealand
    When I was in my teens and 20's, post orgasm relieved a lot of my stress so I had less need to dress, but by 35 years of age, it became more about being me.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at

  17. #17
    Banned Read only
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    Oct 2014
    Organization? Is this about incorrect erotic targeting? I get it, but I'm out 😐

  18. #18
    Banned Spammer
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    Aug 2008
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    CDing never has been sexual for me so I have no idea what you are asking about.I'm out too.

  19. #19
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Orange County, Calif.
    I am what they refer to as a "fetish dresser" here, Sara. Which is code for it turns me on.

    However, as others have mentioned that has been changing in the last 5 or so years. While I'm concentrating on preparing a certain look and again while I'm out with T friends, sex never enters my mind, period. However, when I'm done with a shoot or come back home from an event? It's rare when I don't get a bit excited!
    I'm 70 by the way.

    As to wanting to get the women's things off? Early on, I always wanted them off immediately after. Because the girdles and corsets suddenly cut deeper. The bras and tite clothing became more restricting. And, the heels and boots were suddenly more painful!

    These days, it's not the same. I take things off when I feel like it. It doesn't seem connected to my release any more.
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  20. #20
    Member jasminepp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2015
    British Columbia
    Although I do enjoy the sexual side of dressing, I don't lose interest dressing when I'm done, I lose interest in sex when I'm done (temporarily). Afterwards I'm down to watch a movie, clean house, do homework etc or whatever else just like any other lady (or man for that matter).

  21. #21
    Member wanda66's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    In the beginning It was a means to a end. And when the sex was finished so was the crossdressing.
    Now I enjoy thr dressing much more and if I encounter a moment of pleasure it doesn't interfere with my dressing pleasure

  22. #22
    Member Kiersten's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    In the past I use to lose interest right after, but now it's become more about the dressing and less about sexual gratification.

  23. #23
    New Member Harumi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    In my mind since I have fully accepted this side of me, I do not lose interest dressing anymore (if it happens that it turned me on).

  24. #24
    Member Traceyjo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2008
    In the distant past I used to become so aroused when I dressed I couldn't go for more than a couple of hours without having an orgasm. Then my desire to stay dress disappeared completely for and hour or so after which I would dress again and be able to stay dressed for a longer period. These days there is still the sexual excitement aspect but it is not so intense that I need to relieve it. When the time comes that I need to return to male mode but have a very strong desire to continue to enjoy the wonderful sensation of being femme, I usually have an orgasm not just for the pleasure it brings but also to reduce the letdown of having to change. I can stay dressed after an orgasm and continue to feel great but the excitement of feeling sexy is diminished.

  25. #25
    Junior Member CallmeAlice's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    North Carolina, United States
    My dressing is not sexual. Plus if it was I wouldn't cross before, dont want to get my cloths dirty.
    You have to be odd to be number one. ~ Dr. Seuss

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