A little story about how things exceeded my expectations
After years of "pink fog" coming and going in my life it finally struck me hard enough to do something about it. I know that, if I just shake off another "pink fog" situation and try to be "manly" somehow it will return even stronger. I decided not to ignore it this time. I called my best female friend, one that I trust and love, to come over and I told her EVERYTHING. I was so bad at explaining it, she was ok with the crossdressing, but she was concerned as to why I'm doing it (might be a reaction from past experiences). So I gave my confused mind a couple days off just to figure it out.. I literally placed two pictures of my best male and best female self standing in front of the same mirror right next to each other and just stared at them for an hour. Later that night it struck me.
"Why not both?". Seemed like the most pleasing answer to my mind. Imagine a life where one night you're with your best buddies watching the game and the next, you're out on a ladies night and be EQUALLY convincing on both scenarios. It also came to mind the thought that I always liked both men and women sexually, so it felt like that was no doubt the answer: both.
So my friend came by today again. I shared with her my bisexual, gender fluid thoughts and she was TOTALLY accepting! Her only concern was my happiness (as she told me). She is almost a pro in being ultra-feminine. Clothes, makeup, hair, nails etc etc everything is on point and sometimes I idolize women like her. I told her I can't do this single transformation on my own and I need help. She said yes, considering we keep this whole thing between us.
We planned on a huge transformation so it's going to take a little while until I lose some weight and buy all the right clothes and makeup with her. I'm obsessed with details and I told her I want to look as convincing as possible.
Long story short, 18 years old and I managed to realize who I am, came out to a great person and in two months time I'll be in my absolute best, most feminine form with a true lady's help.
Thank you for taking the time to read this,
Iliana.
