How did u relate to movie, The Danish Girl?

[docrobbysherry]

Just saw it last nite. Even tho it happened nearly 100 years ago, I related to her on screen reaction to nylons and the satin dress. It rang a few memory bells from 18 years ago. And at first, I thot he was a late in life dresser like myself. But then, the story revealed he had felt like a female since early on in her life. And, that she was attracted to men as well as women. On those points, I couldn't identify with her.

For those of that saw the movie: Did it ring any bells in YOUR dressing memory banks?

[MissDanielle]

For me, it just shows how far we've come with acceptance for being trans.

[Nadine Robles]

To be completely honest, I watched roughly 1 hour and it bored me. I had very high expectations since I love historic films and the topic of crossdressing caught my attention, but the movie itself was so slow paced, only kept going thanks to the awesome performaNce by the leading actor. I related to some particular things, mostly fantasies he had about being a woman but didnt feel particularly identified.
Much more interesting movie about TS real life story I would recomend "Forbidden Love" (1977 spanish movie originally titled "cambio de sexo" -sex change-)

[Judy-Somthing]

Wow I saw the trailer And it looks like a must see.

One movie I liked similar to cross-dressing was (Dr. Jekyll and Sister Hyde)

[Robin414]

I have a GG friend who seriuosly wants me to see it, she stumbled on the trailer and immediately thought of me...after reading the plot line I'm kinda freaked out about seeing it 😨

[donnaS]

I have seen it.
Feels like my marriage exactly right now.
My wife has not seen it yet.
So far, we have bee thru the shock of me coming out to her.
I have counseling set up,with HRT as a possible option.
My wife has already said that her husband is no longer here.
We have had discussions on splitting up because of Donna.
Intimacy is pretty much gone. And some discussion has been, what if you meet some one like Donna and fall in love?
The movie for me was inspirational but also heart breaking at the same time.
I'm an emotional wreck trying to be my true self and watching it tear my wife apart. Guilt isn't even close.
It makes me hate myself for what I am.
Never meant to hurt anybody.
I can relate so much to the movie. Right now my life is following that exact path.

[flatlander_48]

doc:

I could relate to everything except for the part about transitioning. I have no interest in that.

One point that I think cannot be emphasized enough is Einar/Lili's level of desperation. Today we talk about the degree of despair that is generated by a complete mismatch between the gender that your body suggests and the gender that you believe you are. In too many cases, people attempt to deal with it by suicide. By comparison, Einar was willing to risk everything on a VERY risky surgery that had only been done once before with fatal results. To me, the level of desperation was not that much different.

DeeAnn

[docrobbysherry]

To be completely honest, I watched roughly 1 hour and it bored me. I had very high expectations since I love historic films and the topic of crossdressing caught my attention, but the movie itself was so slow paced, only kept going thanks to the awesome performaNce by the leading actor. I related to some particular things, mostly fantasies he had about being a woman but didnt feel particularly identified.
Much more interesting movie about TS real life story I would recomend "Forbidden Love" (1977 spanish movie originally titled "cambio de sexo" -sex change-)

I must agree, Nadine. I felt the movie dragged on at times. My T friend actually nodded off a few times. Of course, she'd had a couple of beers. The theater sold beer and wine!
But, it was a matinee and I don't drink that early.

However, I thot the woman who played the wife, Alicia Vikander, carried the movie. I wasn't surprised to see her nominated for an award!

[AngelaYVR]

I thought it was a complete snooze and wanted to hurl things at the screen every time Redmayne gave that goofy grin.

[audreyinalbany]

Haven't seen it & probably won't. One of the things that bothers me a little about all the media attention lately on gender dysphoria (Transparent, Caitllyn Jenner, the Danish Girl) is that it does send a message that transition is the end game for all who crossdress. While those of us on the forum know this to be far from the truth, the general public and, more specifically, my wife, can easily assimilate this message and it sort of reinforces the stereotype that all of us who choose do wear women's clothes want to become women. I know there is no drama in a guy dressing up as a woman and going out shopping, then coming home and changing back into guy clothes and going about his life, but I suspect this is the reality for many of us.

[Jackie7]

My wife and I have seen it twice. Very moving and beautiful film, I could relate personally to a lot tho not all. Second time we took my wife's sister, she also liked it very much. We concluded that the Danish girl in the title actually refers to the wife, Gerda Wegener, BTW in real life she was a fabulous artist, google her and see for yourself.

[AnnieMac]

I agree with you Audrey. I think the whole Jenner thing has hurt "normal crossdressers" (haha) more than helped. Also there is just something about Jenner that doesn't seem entirely genuine, unlike the transgender folks I have met personally.
Now look, I admit this is all fun and games for me, but us CDs have to acknowledge to a degree, this certain inner feminine personality trait, that makes us like doing it.

As far as that film goes, the trailer looks as captivating as two other excruciating films if you have ever had to sit through the them, "Chariots of Fire" & "The English Patient" arrrrrrrgggggggghhhhh!! But, perhaps I am being to judgemental since I haven't seen the entire film.

[Vickie_CDTV]

I could totally relate to the beginning, where she tries on the silk stockings (I believe they were silk at that time) and displays a subtle but distinct sense of excitement and euphoria, especially when she held onto the dress. Something only a certain type of dresser would get, and they really nailed that.

Interestingly, some critics have referred to the first third/half or so as what we would call "TV Fiction", a "forced" feminization type story with the wife introducing the man to dressing and embracing the dressing (to start anyway.)

The part where the wife discovers him wearing her slip under his clothes and is delighted, well, at that point I knew it was fiction

[Lorileah]

Loved the movie. Made me cry. Confused about certain things but researching I know understand what happened. So as an entertaining and moving movie...I give it a thumbs up. Educational and historic.....not so much. Not wanting to ruin it for those who will see it (and you should, it is a good movie...but no car crashes or explosions or graphic sex scenes so some will say it is slow) but there are thing s that reinforce muggle views of the community (like the epiphany by just putting on stockings?)

Google the whole story AFTER seeing it and you will see they left out a LOT

[char GG]

It was a well done movie. It struck me, though that when "he" became a "she", the focus turned to her and no longer "them" as a couple.

That seems to ring true for many CDers that I know. Which is why I feel that for vacations, etc; it is important to keep the "us" in time spent together. I don't think it should be about just one person in the relationship.

There is plenty of other "me" time for crossdressers, even with an SO. Just saying that it shouldn't always be about one person exclusively.

I must say that my husband does a good job keeping the "us" in our marriage. ****Thanks honey*****

[AngelaYVR]

...but no car crashes or explosions or graphic sex scenes so some will say it is slow)

That tired line gets trotted out all the time. A movie can be slow and engaging, this one is just aggravating because Redmayne's talent appears to be wasted on constantly mugging for the camera. If not for Vikander it would be an absolute waste of film (or bytes or whatever they use these days). But we get it, you are telling us you are more refined.

[Eryn]

...Did it ring any bells in YOUR dressing memory banks?

When Einar was holding the ballet dress and the camera zoomed to his fingers caressing the fabric I was screaming inside "Someone GETS it!" That simple action resonated so much with me.

The movie was shot beautifully and I think that it was just as much about Gerda as Lili.

And yes, I cried at the ending. Such a powerful movie, at least for the TS folks in the audience.

[AnnieMac]

So char GG, it seems that the underlying feelings in your overall statement is that you feel crossdressers are selfish, or that crossressing is a selfish activity becuase it's all about "me" (the crossdresser in this case). I couldn't agree more! I have often
Felt that I was a little selfish in the amount of influence it has over me, or the amount of time I spend alone doing it, especially since I am still am still in the closet and don't share this activity with my wife. That's really the only thing I feel a little guilty about. I don't have any guilt over the whole weirdness of it all, or gender embarrassment if you wiil

[heatherdress]

I personally did not relate and was disappointed.

The movie dragged, no pun intended. Most of the husband-wife relationship script was made for the screen. I felt the Einar/Lili movie character came across as unlikeable. His/her wife's character stood out as being remarkably supportive.

Not worth the price at the movie theater (like most others) but worth watching if free.

[Beverley Sims]

I think it is a movie that would grow on you.

First viewing, just another TG movie.

I think I enjoyed Some Like it Hot better, and that was just comedy.

[Sarah Louise]

The early scenes were similar to how I view female clothes, the way he touched and revelled in their softness and glamour. I watched the film with my wife and it did cross my mind that she would be sat there thinking that I do that with her clothes when she wears them. Little did she know that I would come clean with her less than a week later!

Of course, the main character's journey soon went beyond anywhere I would ever go, but it was interesting none-the-less.

[Kate T]

My world on the screen.

Needs to be watched multiple times. I suspect Redmayne's performance improves with watching again.

I'm not attracted to men. Drop that aspect and it is the first movie / book / story that has come close to "getting it". So many parallels with my life it is unnerving. Met at university, same profession, stupidly in love with each other, ALWAYS know exactly where each other is in the room, people try and work out how the hell we can speak each other with just a look across a crowded room. Then the sheer abject terror when you first go somewhere as yourself and the whispered "don't leave me", the brushing of hand along the clothes on the clothes rack, the shyness and insecurity about how to speak and hold yourself in public. The willingness to suspend or subvert my own ambitions or career to see my wifes flourish and her to see her joy in those accomplishments. Hell, we even have the out there vivacious true friend (Oola) who never seems to be able to quite find the right partner.

I think a lot of people miss the real point about this movie. It is not really about Lili or her transition. I've found at least 6 different supposedly "true" versions of Lili's transition and surgeries. There is even less verifiable about Gerda and her supposed lesbianism or bisexuality (something that seems to be based on her erotic drawings which I wonder whether she did to cater to a repressed european male sexual appetite rather than an expression of her own sexuality). Tom Hooper, the director said in an interview that what he hoped is that someday society wouldn't see the movie as a movie about Lili, but as a love story where one of the protagonists is transgender. That is certainly what my wife and I saw.

[Rogina B]

For some of us,the discussion the couple had mimics real life...Especially the part when the wife needs her husband..Some of us have been there on that. Real teary movie for me. But a good one !

[Suzanne F]

It was very sweet and painful for my wife and me. The love story is our story. When Lily was going into her first surgery it hit me that in a very short time I will face this moment. Very touching!
Suzanne

[PretzelGirl]

It is interesting the variety of responses here and I wish each person could specifically say where they are and where they think they are going in their path. There may be commonality on where we are and what we thought about the movie.

As someone who transitioned, I found it very intense. From about 10-15 minutes in until the end of the movie, my eyes were wet. Part of it was associating with Lily and her feelings and part of it was the empathy for Gerda. No story will be perfectly accurate in 2 hours, but this movie really got to the pieces of the story that pulled at my emotions.