I'm with you, Kate. To me it was exactly that... a love story where one character happened to be transgender. Yes, it was slow, and carried by the performances of the two main actors...however, the pace of that period in time was slower and more languid, and the film was simply gorgeous to watch on a purely visual basis.
I think the key to the story is not to say "well, it wasn't about how I am" but rather to leave your self at the door and watch the story objectively as a love story. I did that, as did my companion that night. Taken that way I found the movie extremely moving we both enjoyed it tremendously.
Ironically, I was able to view it last Fall as part of an invited audience of local TG but then received a screener of it prior to the SAG awards as I still have my SAG card and get to vote. lol... one of the perks...free movies each winter.