New to the world

[Open26]

My partner has recently opened my eyes to an entire new world recently and I am so lucky he felt he could trust me enough to let me in.
Initially I was a bit worried as I was being drip fed slowly the extent of his CD and was worried there was more to it, which there was.
I came across this site and I just want to say a massive thank you as it really helped me feel more comfortable in having conversations openly with him and made me feel at ease about some of the worries and concerns I was having and I learnt that finding my own boundaries was ok and that whatever my level of involvement is that's ok too, this has taken so much pressure off me as I was beating myself up and was so worried I would come across as un accepting.

Now since the initial drip feeding has passed I feel my love for my partner has grown and found myself wanting to become increasingly involved with his CD. I thought the other day that if I had a magic wand would I change this side of him....the answer is no but my question is am I encouraging it too much? If I encourage it could it lead to a more permanent feature in day to day life?

We enjoy the underwear side of things together and I have openly said he can wear the underwear of his choice whenever he wants, I feel totally at ease with this and have found myself enjoying sex more when he is dressed in underwear but again am worrying that I may be encouraging it too much.

I am now trying to slowly introduce things gradually to the point where he is fully dressed infront of me....does anyone have any tips or things they found helped? I am very into clothes and fashion despite being a Tom boy, I have seen his clothes which are not my cup of tea....do I suggest things for him to buy that I would find attractive or is his 'style' personal to all this and I need to accept the clothes he pick may not be what I would choose?

Also I every now and again over worry and I worry that he may one day go full out Jenner on me....my concerns with that is that although I am sexually attracted to women it is purely on a sexual basis and not on an emotional level....do I need to try and make that clear to him now or am I wrong to be connecting the two together?

Any tips or suggestions would be welcomed.

Thanks x

[Sarah Louise]

Welcome to the forum. Your partner is a lucky man, having you accept him so easily. I hope he cherishes you for this!

I recently came out to my wife and while it's been a bit up and down, I think we're working through it. I'm sorry, but being new to being 'out' with my wife, I haven't got any tips other than the most important thing is we love eachother very much. I tell her this every day. You should both do the same.

[Jenniferathome]

...I am now trying to slowly introduce things gradually to the point where he is fully dressed infront of me....does anyone have any tips or things they found helped? I am very into clothes and fashion despite being a Tom boy, I have seen his clothes which are not my cup of tea....do I suggest things for him to buy that I would find attractive or is his 'style' personal to all this and I need to accept the clothes he pick may not be what I would choose?

Also I every now and again over worry and I worry that he may one day go full out Jenner on me....

Hi Open26, glad that his site has provided some info you can use. On the two point here, I had some thoughts:

First, style is really challenge for most of us. Style is something you develop over time with feedback and real world experience which is difficult from closeted cross dressers. i think the usual result is that early in our "careers" we gravitate toward hyper-sexual looks (ok, slvtty)or nostalgic looks (50's, petticoats, etc.). My wife is my style icon and I would love her critiques but early on she was a little afraid to comment as she did nt want to crush my sprit. "Honey, you look like prostitute," might have been hard to take. But I think any advice you give should come with, "...and heres why it looks good." WE NEED HELP.

Second, as for transition, cross dressing does not make a transexual. Check this recent thread out. Both Becky and Suzanne get to the heart of it: http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...-are-really-TS If he is trans, he may transition. If he is just a cross dresser, he will not, ever. But THAT is a great conversation to kick off, along with talking about what your fears are about "over-encouraging" him.

[Tina81]

My wife says that "in the end, it's just clothes...and I can understand I was born this way and she appreciates my empathy for others, which she says is very feminine.

[Open26]

I agree, I find myself drawn into the feeling that society is what has given underwear/ clothing a gender, who makes the decision on what someone should wear....we all should wear the clothes we want to wear and feel comfortable in. We are who we are not what we wear which in itself makes me feel CDing is not a choice it's an instinct, a feeling that will not go as it is in bedded in our makeup. Society has set rules on what is except able and what is not and I hate that it means that so many CDers go through the early years of hating themselves and feeling disgusted in themselves when it's something that deep down makes them happy.

[Tracii G]

Welcome.
There are no right and wrong answers to any of this so you have to get thru it the best you can.
Be honest and communicate whats on your mind.
It is just clothes most of the time for some and for some it progresses into something else you just never know.
He is still the same person inside and thats what matters most IMO.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Hello! Welcome to the forum! Some CDers (like myself) are very specific in the styles they prefer while others work with what they've got or feel like a fish out of water when trying to put a style together. Others are quite versatile and enjoy rocking all kinds of styles. Like most other details specific to your bf, you'll have to have further detailed discussion with him and see if he's open to help with other styles or if he likes where he's at. Thats all I can offer at the moment, I wish you two the best!