I'm not going to lie, I'm bricking it writing this post. I was born female, and have done my best to act female for the majority of my 28 years on this planet. I've always had a boyish character, don't like getting dressed up in womens clothes and all that but I figured it was all just normal. Which, it is, really.

I've known since around the age of 19 that, deep down, I feel like a man. But growing up with the sort of people that I did, I kept it hidden (bar the online forums I found back then where I could express myself, knowing other people felt the same way). I've gotten depressed in the past about it, quite a lot. I tried pushing it to the back of my mind and unfortunately, turned to self harm in an effort to cope (about 3 years free of that though so far.). I've not had the confidence to tell anyone due to years of being made fun of for being a tom boy when i was in school (kids, eh?). Recently, the last year, I've found it hard to hide away anymore. I've felt a bit better being able to dress to reflect who I feel I am but I only get to express myself on the odd occasion.

My main stumbling block, the bit that really stops me from going any further is that I'm currently in a relationship with a very heterosexual man. We've been together almost three years and I love him with all that I am. We're great together. Well, him and the female me. I know that if I admitted it, if I told him it would be the end for us. I just wondered if anyone else has been in this position, if they wanted to share their experiences- how they coped.

Right now I've sort of resigned myself to knowing that, for the indefinite future, I'll have a female body. But deep down I know who I am, it just hurts that I cant properly let him out.

Anyway, apologies for the ramble. Nice to meet all of you.