Ahhh, a spider in the bathtub...I need a 'guy' to get rid of it!
Oh no, a flat tire, wish there was a 'guy' to change it for me!
My engine light came on, where's a 'guy' to figure it out!
I just though about this today when thinking why 'we're' not always accepted by the Gen Pop...I'm not trying to sound like a sexist bacon factory although it might come across that way...deal with it...
Do people see us as 'dodging' the 'male role' and maybe that causes a feeling of disent? Just a thought 😕
I'm deathly scared of spiders and not good with mechanics.
I'm a nice Jewish girl.
I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.
last weekend I built a 6 x 3 meter varanda without help.
Often repairing cars.
Neighbours know I can do both roles and not really caring about the general population about what they think, especially as so many regular guys are on sickness benefits for bad backs / stress disorders etc, even though they haven't worked a day in their life.
See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz
Although I can deal with spiders, the creepy ones startle me when I'm not expecting them. I dont know diddly sqwat about cars, carpentry/building, or trades in general, definately not my thing. My gf's have usually been much better at many of those so called manly things. I'm good with bugs and blood and guts and many of those cool things though.
I think it's more that society hasn't got used to the idea yet.
I think female clothes are the last bastion of defined gender roles. If we go back before WW2, gender roles such as jobs, parenthood and decision-making were all clearly defined. If I think about my grandparents (who were born in 1910 and 1912), their roles were clearly defined. My Grandad wore the trousers, went to work and paid the bills. My Grandma never wore trousers in her life, stayed at home, cleaned the house, shopped, cooked the dinner and looked after the children. When my Grandad died, my Grandma, didn't even know what to do to pay the newspaper bill as that was his job.
I can't think of any previously gender based role that hasn't become acceptable to be done by both roles, accept one - how men dress. Yes, there are some jobs such as builders and mechanics which are still male dominated, but no-one bats an eye-lid if a woman wants to do these.
It took time for society to accept these changes and it will take time for it to accept cross-dressing. As crossdressers we tend to hide away and if we do go out, we tend to do our best to blend in. To be accepted we need to be more out in the open and stick up for our rights. Unfortunately, I don't think many of us have the 'balls' to do this (me included).
If you genuinely recoil from spiders, you don't know how to change a flat tire or what to do when the engine light comes on, then you're just being you. It has nothing to do with being male or female. A lot of guys will bring their cars to service stations for tire changes and general service, not everyone tinkers with cars in their garage. One of my son's friends has a horrible phobia with spiders AND snakes and he is ranked nationally in a particularly macho sport.Originally Posted by Robin414
But.
If you adopt those behaviors because you think they are representative of being female, then I see your point. I think that put-on behaviors shine through and this is what people pick up on. So if you really hate spiders and can't stand working on cars, don't sweat it. You're fine.
Reine
Not so much. Men are way too often still expected to stay in our place. Strong, silent types, provider, protector, the social initiator of things, and of course, we're usually expected to pay at least through the beginnings of relationships.
When I think back to what life was like in the sixties, I expected to see huge changes in our society. Yet here we are today, girls are still focused on fashion, still not in the STEM fields to any large degree, still expect to be pursued, and of course, while the guy 'gets her' (when I ask what the guy gets, the women are always in shock; the response is, 'he gets her, that's enough'), she gets the expensive diamond for engagement (even though we now know they aren't either rare or valuable, just artificially made that way by the debeers family's monopoly, as well as responsible for the deaths of huge numbers of people who have to mine the damn things); while they usually won't talk about it openly, women still want and expect chivalrous behavior from men, still expect to be romanced, still weigh out a man's assets and income potential as very important when choosing a mate; if you've got nothing and no job, you're out of luck. On the opposite side of the 'fence', men still choose the prettiest women, often with little regard for what she does for a living, or even if she will be a good earner in any way; in fact, as long as she doesn't spend all our money and get us into debt, we're ok with whatever she wants to do. Hot and sexy enough, still outweighs everything else.
The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm sure I will get arguments about all this, though.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I'm wondering where a "girl" is when I break a nail.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
Up to a point, perhaps, but very different from a few years ago. I see sportsmen show their emotions when they lose a big game and generally they get sympathy from most. This wouldn't have happened 40/50 years ago. Many men earn less than their wives so aren't the provider. Quite a few give up work to look after the children while their wives still work. We have programme on television in the UK called First Dates (where a blind date is filmed). Many of the women insist on paying their half of the bill. So I think things have changed.
I feel things have changed with roles, but not as males or females would have anticipated/hoped years before. Myself, an example. I am the "elected" leader in a very masculine work place( technical, intense physical) don't like it but i direct, delegate tasks. Communicate with upper mgnt good bad situations where i must be the alpha male. Yet i was a single parent of a daughter, her mother not around, was then and now still doing all household tasks. When around groups of women i was accepted and included in all things feminine because of my mom / dad role in life. I'm enjoying it.
Yes the general population sees us as leaving the tough, macho, fix anything male roll to one less strong and taking on the roll of weaker and feminine. Probably most don't understand it, this includes men, women and wives. If you aren't born a CD how could you? We enjoy and appreciate the less hostile male of tough, fighting men and prefer all the softer and gentler things that are a woman. Since we can't swallow that magical pill and all of a sudden have all of those beautiful curves and the female benefits that come with it we have to do the best we can with pads, forms, soft clothing, makeup, etc. to be what we weren't born to. Wouldn't it be nice if somehow the public was made aware and understood this and saw us as not a threat, oddity or pervert but just acting on what we were born with just as they mostly understand homosexuality. Wouldn't it be nice to dress completely feminine, go out and be accepted as just another person?
It's kind of an interesting post in that we're first asked to accept a group of cliches about women as if we've never met a female mechanic or a woman who is capable of disposing of a spider on her own and then it reverses track to argue against accepting cliched behavior tropes of men. OK. We're all individuals. Now what?
Do you suppose that perhaps this is actually a result of those men still remaining in their childhood behavior patterns? It's gotten to the point where skilled children become coddled athletes in order to keep them happy with their team at almost any cost, all the way through their professional sports lives. Even golf players are surrounded by yes men that tell them what they want to hear, and we see 40 year old men celebrating their athletic triumphs by going to disney world. 50 years ago, winners went out to dinner with their team or wives. Now they still behave like children, even to the point of throwing tantrums on the fields, destroying equipment and getting into fights when they don't get their way; certainly not adult behavior at all.
Yet women still almost unanimously prefer males who DO make more than they do. Those who don't, are considered acceptable only when 'settling' for less that what she wants. People will do whatever they must to survive; doesn't mean that they like it, or find it attractive. Kind of, well, like when a hot wife gains 100 pounds, cellulite, and cuts her long hair off into a man style cut. We live with it, tell her it's fine, that she's still the sexy babe and we love her just as much as ever. We have to accept it because we don't have any choice. So we make the best of a bad situation. It's the human thing to do, doesn't mean we like it.Many men earn less than their wives so aren't the provider.
While we have what, 8 billion people on the earth, then yes 'quite a few' would be an appropriate answer, but look at it another way, what percentage of men are house husbands, and how many of their wives LIKE IT that their husband wasn't successful enough to support his family, and so now doesn't work? Did they plan it that way, or, how many planned it that way when they got married? One survey showed that most women would prefer to happily quit their jobs if they thought that their husband could provide adequately for them and their children.Quite a few give up work to look after the children while their wives still work.
http://www.psmag.com/business-econom...dwinners-97317
is one such study.
This one, oddly enough, almost perfectly tells us why 'women only make 70 cents on the dollar to what men make':
http://money.cnn.com/2013/08/13/news...en-work-force/
Because only 74% of them work. So is it any surprise that old '70%' stat is almost right on the mark? (because that's what it was; the 70% thing was referring to the total of what all women make, vs the total of what all men make).
Interesting what statistics can tell you, isn't it?
There are other studies all coming up with similar results.
From the book,
Work-Lifestyle Choices in the 21st Century : Preference Theory: Preference ...
By Catherine Hakim
Last edited by sometimes_miss; 02-08-2016 at 02:59 PM.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Stereotypes have a flip side. For every "I need a man to squish a bug" there's a "I need a woman to sew on a button for me".
Robin,
I'm capable of all those things because I'm a guy, last weekend I showed my son how to plaster his walls !
Basically I'm done with most of that, I have done more than my fair share of being the man and trying to bury my femme side. My wife did acknowledge that and realised I'm saying this side of me needs some attention to deal with it's needs , once I've achieved a balance the guy side may come back !
Nicole,
I'm just as handy with a needle and thread, sewing buttons on and doing minor alterations, at least those jobs don't break nails !
Last edited by Teresa; 02-08-2016 at 07:09 PM.
I have had four major women in my life. Strong, awesome females.. they all still wanted me to kill spiders.
I'd rather capture them and put them outside in a bush. They do more good than harm. They hunt flies and mosquitoes and lesser bugs. (Professional courtesy??)
There is a difference between an orb spider and a common 'long-legs', yet they seem to evoke the same response. "Kill it!"
bird-eating-spiders-australias-giant-golden-orb-weaver.jpg
Not sure why. I don't know if it is genetic gender related or not.. seems to be, but I am hesitant to make that judgement.
The other ideas? It assumes females are weak and defenseless. Females are NOT that, I have the scars to prove it.
- MM
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
I have had four major women in my life. Strong, awesome females.. they all still wanted me to kill spiders.
I'd rather capture them and put them outside in a bush. They do more good than harm. They hunt flies and mosquitoes and lesser bugs. (Professional courtesy??)
There is a difference between an orb spider and a common 'long-legs', yet they seem to evoke the same response. "Kill it!"
bird-eating-spiders-australias-giant-golden-orb-weaver.jpg
Not sure why. I don't know if it is genetic gender related or not.. seems to be, but I am hesitant to make that judgement.
The other ideas? It assumes females are weak and defenseless. Females are NOT that, I have the scars to prove it.
- MM
[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]
Dammit. The stupid thing won't let me delete attached images.
I like the bear thing, but that isn't what I meant to attach.
Last edited by mechamoose; 02-08-2016 at 07:23 PM. Reason: Refinement
- Madame Moose - on my way to Anne
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"I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor
"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?" - Hillel the Elder
I have had hard blue collar work, all my life, other than security officer. Was a paint factory worker, toting 55 gallon drums around all day, gravedigger, with hand shovels, picks, new construction window cleaner. I have had to fix all my cars unless a repair i just could not do. Helped bale hay on farms. Also have sewed rips, and buttons on guy and girl clothes, Not good at that, though! Ouch, that d----d needle got me again!! I feel a bit like i have two identities like Clark Kent, with Superman, only i am the blue collar low income tall man, who fixes things, but who no GG wants, as i am too low income. And, Alice, the very tall, older gal with long legs. that all too many admirers want!
Teresa, I'm handy with a needle and thread, too. I have a sewing machine and know how to use it. My wife doesn't. I cook. My wife can heat things in a microwave.
I have a brother. One of us has never changed oil in a car. The other has never paid someone to do it for him. One of us is a crossdresser, one isn't.
(The CDer changes oil, but never en femme).
I don't think the things we know how and are willing to do have anything to do with traditional roles.
There was a thread a couple years ago in which the OP was looking for feminine activities to do, to better express his/her femininity. That struck me as strange. And artificial. Just do what you like or need to do. And stick your pinky out when you do - haha.
Been thinking about this since i posted a reply this morning-I'm proud of my life, I was a CD way before I had children. And like Alice torn said: "I've had to move 55 gal drums around" and I still do when someone won't get off their #ss and jump on it! I can overhaul anything from a BMW motor to an inframe on a detroit 671 in a tractor trailer. I sewed fancy dresses for my daughter when no one else was around to help her and cried harder than she did a couple of years ago when my favorite cat died from diabeties. It gets old having to compete in life each day, having to "watch your back". Don't get me wrong, looking back I would not change anything (except possibly being born female) I am captain of my destiny-I don't have to accept anything the status quo dictates.
Last edited by karen inside; 02-08-2016 at 09:23 PM. Reason: misspell
Being a gay man to begin with, I've never been macho and don't care to be. What am I good at? Hospitality, cooking, paying bills, planning trips and evenings out, being emotionally supportive, finding adventure and giving blowjobs. What am I not so good at? Taking men's bullshit and disrespect, taking women's bullshit and disrespect or giving a flying **** about what anybody else thinks.
When in CD mode, find a guy and make him do it. I would LOVE to have a CD approach me with a "guy" problem; a chance to be nice to her and see if she wants to get acquainted.
Wow, atlflygirl...I think That Will Fly Girl! ☺
I suspect most non-acceptance is due to fear and ignorance., not role dodging.
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