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Thread: DO you think Crossdressers would get proper respect in the society?

  1. #1
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    DO you think Crossdressers would get proper respect in the society?

    I ve been asking this question to myself that do you think crossdressers would get the due respect from people in society? Just like women don't take it as an insult to wear pants and its part of their ward robe, do you think guys will be able to dress up in skirts and heels at work?
    I think I am a normal straight guy who d enjoy dressing up at work. I think I can pull nice pumps, bell bottom pants and nice blouse at work. But unfortunately, if I do it, I d be ostracized and looked down upon. Do you think this would change in near future.

    Apparently, a lot of guys who dress up in high schools get banned at schools.

    So my Question is
    1. Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?
    2. Why do you think a guy dressed up is looked down upon? Is it because people still see men as superior to women or whether, its considered a weakness to be feminine in modern society
    3. Would you dress up at work if you could?
    4. If you SO agrees, would you like to go full time?
    5. Do you think Feminine men and Masculine Women would be common in future?
    6. Do you think feminine guys would be a new normal?

    If given a choice, I would like to dress up both as guy and girl at work place. But I would definitely wear ear rings, bangles/bracelets and heels on daily basis.

    (Guys and Mods, I am not doing any study. I number questions for ease of reading and making it readable. Please feel free to add more questions here)

  2. #2
    Member ~Katelyn~'s Avatar
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    This is really a good question! I would have to go with 5 and 6. I don't think cociety is ready for it though. It becomes a touchy subject for the most part.

  3. #3
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    Nope, crossdressing has been around for an awfully long time, but no matter how enlightened the culture, it is seen as an aberration
    Yes, but it is because most men have doubts about their masculinity, and yes I think it is still considered a weakness to be female (not feminine) in modern society
    Yes, if it was accepted
    Hmmm good question. My SO married a man, so I don't think either one of us would like me to go full time as a woman
    More common than now, but still seen as outside the norm.
    Wouldn't mind that, but see answer above

    Thx for the question, got me thinking

  4. #4
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    if society learned acceptance then yes, trouble is humanity is too far dissociated from nature, and lost connection.

    1. yes
    2. people fear challenges to status, they fear change, they fear the challenge that actually males are not superior to women, and more fears still
    3. i do
    4. i do
    5. yes
    6. yes
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

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    Leonal,
    I know it's great to post these questions and they are interesting, it still comes back to why we do it, if we wish to transition then there has to be some acceptance but why would a guy want to inconvenience himself at work by CDing ?

    If you can get over that hurdle then we will get respect because they understand but I'm afraid the labels and the questions will still be there, is he gay ? etc...

    I do agree that gender is becoming closer, as less physical work is done the male is becoming less capable of doing it and sharing the same jobs as females has strengthened women and weakened men.

  6. #6
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    1. Not a chance. (In 10 years, folks may be lucky to even have a workplace to want to go dressed.)
    2. Traditionally masculine roles are more valued than female ones, when women are masculine they move up, men are seen as going down. This is ridiculous, but it is what it is.
    3. I have my own business, I can work dressed but usually don't. For me, dressing is recreation, work is work.
    4. No SO and no desire to go fulltime
    5. Most people of both genders are happy being gender conforming. Masculine women are generally unnoticed, unless they really try to appear to be men.
    6. As others have said here on this forum, a vast majority of men have no interest in being feminine. They are happy being men, and being gender conforming. They will never be a majority, probably never even a large minority. Men may wear different styles, or more or less jewelry, but most men will be happy to conform to whatever society says they should be.

  7. #7
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    1. Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?
    No, not for men. Women already have the freedom to wear certain male clothing.
    2. Why do you think a guy dressed up is looked down upon? Is it because people still see men as superior to women or whether, its considered a weakness to be feminine in modern society
    Until women find feminine men sexually desirable (and I don't see that happening any time soon) men embracing feminine behavior and clothing will not be seen as a positive thing. Even women see feminine as lesser desirable than masculine, and that's still odd because they're basically demeaning their own sex. I think it's because they hate the idea that beauty and appearing youthful is considered valuable, and there's nothing that they can do about it.

    Also, our educational systems still don't want to teach people about how our lives and minds work. We know why girls are attracted to the successful jocks in high school, for example; but no one will tell these girls about this. Same with adult women; so many are attracted to basically bad men, men who will treat them badly and leave them. Yet, for some reason our society wants to keep it a secret, so these same men can continue to use these women as they please. My theory about this, is that the men who abuse this trust the most, are the ones in political power, and they don't want women to know how and why this all works, in order to maintain the status quo, and keep women in the dark about why they feel the way the do. Keeping it all a big mystery, and just attributing it to some obscure magical 'chemistry', keeps women in a subservient position socially, remaining dependent upon whatever male she thinks she can 'catch' matrimonally.

    3. Would you dress up at work if you could?
    I don't want to deal with the underlying problems that could occur. There is still a stigma connected to crossdressing. I've reached a point in my life where I don't need any more difficulties in my life. I don't enjoy confrontations just for the fun of it. Some do. I don't.

    4. If you SO agrees, would you like to go full time?
    Not applicable. I'm no longer married. Wife left specifically due to the crossdressing TG issues.
    5. Do you think Feminine men and Masculine Women would be common in future?
    I think it may be more accepted, but I also believe that certain traits are inherently sexually attractive, and others are not. What makes a woman attracted to alpha males won't change any time soon; I think today's social scientists are reluctant to admit how much of our desires are genetically influenced. It's not that we can't control how we react to them; but more, that knowing why we like or dislike something isn't the same as being able to change liking or disliking it. It's the same thing that either makes a woman hot for you, or sticks you in the friend zone. And it's far easier to turn a women off, than turn her on.

    6. Do you think feminine guys would be a new normal?
    Not for many centuries.

    If given a choice, I would like to dress up both as guy and girl at work place.
    You have that option; in certain areas of show business, for example, or women's hair styling, or, say, make up artist, you can dress as you please. There doesn't seem to be much of a stigma to feminine guys. But it's probably not going to mean that more women will be sexually attracted to you.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  8. #8
    Silver Member I Am Paula's Avatar
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    It is just (barely) becoming acceptable for us trans girls to change ONCE. People are starting to get that. Thanks to greater visability, the idea that we are as we are from birth is not a foreign as it once was.
    The idea of a cis male crossdressing outside his own closet is still way outside the realm of acceptable. He may be able to get permission to dress as a woman, at work, all the time, but not for another century will he be able to switch back and forth.

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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    ...I think I am a normal straight guy who ...
    I am curious, you just posted about responses to a Craigslist Personal ad and how married men are responding. Was your ad not about hooking up with men? If so, how do you call yourself straight?

  10. #10
    That guy in a dress Sky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    Just like women don't take it as an insult to wear pants and its part of their ward robe, do you think guys will be able to dress up in skirts and heels at work?
    I don't think the analogy is valid. Women took a piece of the male wardrobe (pants) but converted it into a female item. Although there are unisex pants (and t-shirts, and jackets, etc.) there are also clearly female versions of them. Crossdressers try to look like a woman. Most women don't try to look like a man.

    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    1. Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?
    And where is your workplace? Is it a corporate office in New Yawk City or a construction site in Lagos, Nigeria?

    I don't think the flavor of crossdressing we practice will ever be truly popular. Accepted, or tolerated, in urban environments, maybe. Now if men as a whole adopt a piece of feminine clothing -say skirts- and turn it into an ordinary piece of male clothing, then yes. That's what happened with small earrings in the 80s, and yet if you wear a long dangling earring today you'll be labeled as a cd.

  11. #11
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    In answer to all your questions....I hope it would happen.
    However, in 10 years???? People have been cross dressing for hundred's of
    years, and still no general acceptance for it. As for the reversal of the sexes,
    society would not allow that for the simple reason, the Female is still the bearer
    of the species. Until you can change that, GG's will always have the Babies.
    Rader

  12. #12
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    I have to ask why did you post a CL ad in the first place?
    99% of your responses are going to assume you are gay so be ready for that.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    Well not all at once. Things will slowly change as men get to have more freedom in their wardrobe choices without it begin some kind of problem. Just look at the number of guys in the NBA now wearing tights, as well as just male day to day joggers wearing running tights and workout pants in the gym or on the street. Its become kind of normal. Another thing I see more on guys internationally and not so much in the US, is fashion scarves looped around on the outside of their jackets, very similar to our female soul mates. I have seen a few, but not a lot of male style skirts in countries like Denmark, Germany, and Australia that seem to work rather nicely. I'm not sure you could even call that cross dressing. Eyeglasses are pretty much unisex anymore.And who bothers to look at guys with earrings or long hair anymore? thats pretty acceptable.
    But we do have to be totally honest with ourselves as cross dressing guys. The reason women don't get the kind of scrutiny that male cross dressers get, when they wear something male, is because they are usually not doing it because it is sexually or fetish related. Most of us, and I hate to say I have to include myself, dress, because we do get some kind of "excitement" out of it so it is still very much a kind of a fetish, which is out of the realm of day-to-day normal. Oh sure I don't dress because it gets me arouses any more (like I did when I was 15) but dressing does provide it's own kind of calming "excitement" and fun. Women are not doing this when they throw on a pair of male looking jeans or slacks ( at least I don't think so). So we have to be honest and say our behavior is still a little bit out there, although as the years pass it will become less and less I think.
    I can easily see in the next 5-7 years or so, this kind of unisex outfit that women wear now that will eventually filter down to men, is the long sweater dress or tunic with leggings, that you see women wear everywhere now. Not that big of a stretch that that becomes a male style as well, mostly because it seems so easy and comfortable. It seems almost unisex now when I see women wear fashions like that.
    Last edited by AnnieMac; 02-17-2016 at 02:04 PM.

  14. #14
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    So my Question is
    1. Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?.........No
    2. Why do you think a guy dressed up is looked down upon? Is it because people still see men as superior to women or whether, its considered a weakness to be feminine in modern society.......because it questions the male role in society.
    3. Would you dress up at work if you could?........Yes
    4. If you SO agrees, would you like to go full time?.........No
    5. Do you think Feminine men and Masculine Women would be common in future?.........They already are!!!!
    6. Do you think feminine guys would be a new normal.........No

  15. #15
    Crossdresser-At-Large BillieAnneJean's Avatar
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    Back when women in the USA were limited to wearing dresses and skirts, I bet they got a thrill out of wearing pants outside their homes. It was even considered an indication of things sexual for a woman to wear pants, I remember hearing the speculation. Obviously the speculation was foolishness.
    I bet the women forced to wear the "acceptable dress" dictated by their cultures, by their overlords, would get quite the thrill to go out in public without those garments. And their thrill to wear pants? Maybe a "sin"?
    It is all in the mind of the majority.
    I highly doubt that cross dressing will ever be seen as acceptable by the masses. After all some are even quoting verses written a thousand years ago, verses condemning a man's wearing a woman's clothes.
    And popular culture still considers cross dressing as fodder for ridicule on comedy shows. Has since the beginning of television some sixty years ago.
    Maybe one day.
    But I'm not waiting. I am OUT there getting them used to it sooner. Well in my mind anyway.

    Quote Originally Posted by AnnieMac View Post
    Well not all at once. ...
    Last edited by Lorileah; 02-17-2016 at 05:06 PM. Reason: you didn't need to quote the whole post to make your point

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    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    . . and to add to your point BillieAnneJean, I have often read about the hard time they gave Katherine Hepburn for the slacks she was known to wear, often questioning her femininity, and therefore sexuality. Also, Amelia Earhart, started her own fashion and clothing line based on the flight pants and clothes she needed to wear to fly. I remember hearing a story about her that initially she was forced to fly in skirt, petticoat, and heels. Our world is crazy dang, I guess the best thing I could say or do is if I feel like wearing a dress, that why don't I just wear a dress!!
    -mk

  17. #17
    Gold Member NicoleScott's Avatar
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    No. I think it's easier for people to wrap their heads around the idea of a woman in a man's body than a man who likes/needs to dress in women's clothes.
    I don't know how to explain why I crossdress. It's not my shortcoming, it's the inability of others without the drive to comprehend it. But that's not their fault.
    So I think acceptance of CDers in, say, the workplace will happen long after acceptance of transsexuals, if ever.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    Yeah for sure Nicole, that's because "the idea of a woman in a man's body than a man who likes/needs to dress in women's clothes." is now seen as some kind of almost clinical medical issue, like oh, of course he wears dresses, because he is really a she and is really a woman. But just a man who enjoys feminine clothes and fashion is just a man with a fetish of some sort.

  19. #19
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post

    So my Question is
    1. Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?
    not unless men want it to be
    2. Why do you think a guy dressed up is looked down upon? Is it because people still see men as superior to women or whether, its considered a weakness to be feminine in modern society
    because you are taught that
    3. Would you dress up at work if you could?
    I'm TS so that question doesn't count
    4. If you SO agrees, would you like to go full time?
    My wife would have let me if I wanted.
    5. Do you think Feminine men and Masculine Women would be common in future?
    compared to now? Who knows? I don't think you'll see it in the next few generations
    6. Do you think feminine guys would be a new normal?
    nope
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  20. #20
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?
    No.
    2. Why do you think a guy dressed up is looked down upon? Is it because people still see men as superior to women or whether, its considered a weakness to be feminine in modern society.
    Yes to a degree it is considered a weakness. I also see it as fear. A great quote from the movie Batman begins. "You always fear what you don't understand." A lot of people have negative and harsh reactions and when you think about why, there is no reason as to why hate something, be hostile toward something that has zero impact on them. It is that fear turned outward which most often comes out in negative angry hateful hostility.
    3. Would you dress up at work if you could?
    Technically I could, very few places where you truly cannot. It is the consequences, of such, personal consequences. A lot of places would not be able to fire you no matter how much they may wish to. The answer to the question for me would be if there were not the personal consequences, yes.
    4. If you SO agrees, would you like to go full time?
    I would dress a lot, but not full time.
    5. Do you think Feminine men and Masculine Women would be common in future?
    They already are common.
    . Do you think feminine guys would be a new normal?
    It is fairly normal. I do not think we are going to see a whole lot more than we already do though.
    Last edited by Tina_gm; 02-17-2016 at 07:02 PM.
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  21. #21
    Member rachelatshop's Avatar
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    I few years ago before I retired to working for myself, I ran a small business. I had a young man come to me and expressed an interest in coming to work dressed as a woman. We did not have a business policy addressing the problem. I believed in my employees and felt it was up to them, so we had a meeting. The out come was that the women were ok with the young man dressing as a woman as long as he went all the way and did not just look like a man in a dress. If he could not pass they felt that he would only be making fun of the way women dress. At that time most of the women wore skirt suits, hose and low heels to work. I would say no to #5 and 6. I do often dress at my shop.
    Gendermutt, I so like and usually agree with your post, you are right on.
    Last edited by rachelatshop; 02-17-2016 at 07:14 PM.

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    1. Do you think in next 10 years, cross dressing would be considered normal at work place?
    Normal? No. I have long hair (always tied back) and wear earrings, and that is considered to be "edgy." It's taken 50 years to get to that point from the total Don Draper male uniform.

    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    2. Why do you think a guy dressed up is looked down upon? Is it because people still see men as superior to women or whether, its considered a weakness to be feminine in modern society
    A little bit of both. In high school hazing it is very popular to dress a male freshman athlete in a bra (always worn outside the shirt) and a skirt, the frillier the better. These students are never expelled or otherwise sanctioned because the dressing is intended to be humiliating and it is done under the auspices of sports teams. It's pretty obvious that men dressing in a feminine manner continue to be looked down upon for the time being, both by other men and by women.

    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    3. Would you dress up at work if you could?
    Yes, but to do so I will have to transition which has its own set of dangers.

    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    4. If you SO agrees, would you like to go full time?
    She does and I will.

    Quote Originally Posted by leonal123 View Post
    5. Do you think Feminine men and Masculine Women would be common in future?
    6. Do you think feminine guys would be a new normal?
    Gender boundaries will certainly be more blurred, but all it takes is a slight change in cultural direction to reverse all the gains we've made.

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