Tribe Member encounter Mini-tale

[michelleddg]

A common thread on this site is what to do when you encounter a crossdresser in the wild. It can be tough, often a split second judgement call. Do you let it pass (could be a GG, could be mortified to be outed, could be deflating to be clocked) or do you try to make a connection (could be a lonely person looking for an affirmation or connection).

I was in the position last week. I was exploring random wig shops in Las Vegas. Dolled up in mall chic (nice pants, pretty top, flats) but with full on glam evening makeup. I was sauntering down the aisle when a fellow crossdresser came from the other direction. Dressed to blend for sure and frankly I picked her only because I knew what to look for. A bit too much cleavage, slightly mannish face, and nylons with her sandals (oh, girl, please don't). Just a split second of eye-to-eye as our paths crossed, and I have no doubt she picked me as well. "That's that", I thought, no stalking with "hey chicka, looking good blah blah blah".

On to the next wig shop a few blocks down. There she is again! So, I chose to start the conversation I would have started between two chicks. "Oh my, believe me, I am NOT stalking you ha ha ha." All in my not-too-convincing chick voice. "No problem, hope you're having fun." In her not-too-convincing chick voice. The ice has now been completely broken, we can carry on as tribe members, except of course we're in public and there are people about. We exchange home towns (she was a local) and names. She asked if I was on Facebook. I am, and she said she thought she recognized me. She was trying wigs on at that point and I was just browsing so we left it at that.

Next encounter in the wild might be years away and could turn out completely differently, but this was nice, fun, and worked out well.

Hugs, Michelle

[flatlander_48]

Personally, I would always err on the side of caution. There are various outcomes, and some of them would be very unfortunate. For the vast majority of us, going out dressed is a challenge. I wouldn't want to be responsible for bursting someone's bubble who's trying as hard as they can to look decent.

DeeAnn

[Teresa]

Michelle,
I think it's great you managed to meet again and break the ice ! You never know another contact through facebook could result in a good friendship !

[reb.femme]

Hi Michelle,

The same question was posed years ago in a Harmony hairspray advert. Is she or isn't she? They were referring to the fact of whether or not she was wearing Harmony hairspray though. This one comes around as regularly as a revolving door and has been chewed over like cow cud for as long as I've been here and a definitive answer is never given. I do love a good analogy, hence I stretched it a bit.

I think you were lucky to bump into her again like that, as it does enable the usual small talk to begin, but it's always the nagging doubt that she could be TS, a manly woman or just a good old gorgeous CD like myself. The mirror doesn't accept the latter part of my statement, but who cares? I wouldn't mind being approached by a sister in the wild to be honest, but if that person is trying to keep their head down, you could be treading on dangerous ground.

I like the 'what to look for in a CD' description, made me laugh.

...A bit too much cleavage, slightly mannish face, and nylons with her sandals (oh, girl, please don't)...

Hang on just one cotton picking moment! (ala Deputy Dawg), I've done nylons with my wedge sandals. Any opportunity though.

Did you look her up on Facebook and connect?

Becky

[Sara Jessica]

You couldn't have handled that any more perfect Michelle. First , letting the initial encounter pass. Second , breaking the ice with a decidedly non-trans-related comment, "Oh my, believe me, I am NOT stalking you ha ha ha." That is something that could have been said between any two human beings.

This is a polar opposite of when I was encountered a while back. Shopping and minding my own business when a young-ish guy comes up to me and says something along the lines of "ya know, there is a support group that meets nearby..." !?!?

number 1, yep...burst my bubble being picked out of the lineup so easily. number 2, do I really look as if I require support???

[Tracii G]

You just have to play it by ear because each encounter is different.
Do I say something do I not? Well sometimes it happens just the way it happened to you so roll with it.
You did just fine.

[Jenniferathome]

... "Oh my, believe me, I am NOT stalking you ...

Michelle, t hats exactly what I would have said. And I would have said it to a woman, a man, or a cross dresser.

[Robin414]

Well done Michelle, great story! The only time I might have clocked one of us was at a Costco a while ago and it was my wife that pointed hER out...she said "it's odd seeing such a tall woman"...this chic was 6'2" in flats. I looked over and my initial thought was wow, now thats a hot chic 😀 but then I noticed a somewhat less than femme 'gait' as she walked...I just thought she was bolting for the washroom but then....hmmm 😕

[Rachel Lea]

Just a side note with respect to "nylons and sandal", they made sheer toed nylons to allow for the invisible look for open toed shoes. And I would dare say to extend this to some sandals.

[Sara Jessica]

Nylons might have been originally designed for that purpose and yes, it was a fairly common look 30+ years ago, to be running around with hosiery and sandals. But make no mistake, there is nothing invisible about it. 99.whatever% of women under 60 don't do it with sheers in shades of beige or nude. This is one singular fashion choice, dare I say mistake, that is all to common in our community.

This coming from one who won't hesitate to wear hosiery with peeps so it isn't like I'm totally anti-hosiery.

[Julie Denier]

What a wonderful encounter, Michelle. New friendships can be found when you don't expect them

[carrie001]

Maybe we need secret hand signals? "During eye contact, tug on your right ear to approach. "

[AngelaYVR]

1) fantastic story! A rare occurrence indeed and handled well.
2) you can buy toe-less nylons these days and DIM also makes summer hose that is pretty much invisible on the feet but still makes your legs look ooh-la-la (tested)

[Jodi]

Yes, sheer nude hose worn with sandals shouts out--"Hey world, I'm a tranny".

jodi

[Beverley Sims]

Similar situations have happened with me where as seperate groups we are trolling the same shops looking for like items.

Can be good fun if the other side does not recognise your gender.

[Tara Rushing]

and nylons with her sandals (oh, girl, please don't).

Love this.......

[Sandy Clifton]

A couple of weeks back I was in drab looking for women's shoes at Payless and was
p r e t t y
sure a sister CD was standing between me and the size 12s, but I played it
conservative and didn't strike up a conversation, for the reasons you listed.

I hope I didn't spook you, my fellow shopper, I was just trying to find some boots!

Sandy

[michelleddg]

A couple of weeks back I was in drab looking for women's shoes at Payless and was
p r e t t y
sure a sister CD was standing between me and the size 12s, but I played it
conservative and didn't strike up a conversation, for the reasons you listed.

I hope I didn't spook you, my fellow shopper, I was just trying to find some boots!

Sandy

Sandy, it's easy, just meet up with her at the next shoe store down the street and get the conversation rolling :-) Hugs, Michelle

[Janet161]

She recognized you from Facebook? Sounds to me like she was stalking you.

BTW, love your Vegas stories.