So last night I had a rare chance to get out to a gay bar while dressed, George's in Nj.
I had no reservations about being dressed was perfectly comfortable in my skin.
But it's funny , the gates didn't open and rain down sun shine. Now it was like going into a other bar where you don't know anyone.
I sat by myself at the bar had a couple of drinks while every one kind of stayed in there little groups. Now I guess I need to learn how to make friends like a girl
It's a "gay bar". How many single women go to a gay bar alone and try to make friends? Why not go to a "normal" bar?
I find it difficult to talk to people I don't know regardless of what I'm wearing. People just seem to stay in their comfort zone with the people they know.
I began going out to gay bars. It is comfortable because everyone will accept you. On the other hand, you probably will get ignored. I eventually transitioned to "normal" places. In between I managed to find gay clubs that also cater to a straight clientele, mostly dance clubs, that bring in guest DJs from other cities. I also found straight clubs that cater to an "alternative scene", I found myself quite welcome there.
Go onto the dance floor and start dancing (the origin case for "dance as if nobody's watching" I guess.) In a while, someone will turn and dance in your direction. Smile, react to their dancing and just have fun. Exchange names. Having fun attracts people. Not saying you're going home with anyone, but you'll have a good time and strike up a few acquaintances. Over time, if you become a fixture there, you'll be able to greet people by name as you enter the bar and be part of the in crowd that the new gurl at the bar will be looking at.
What magical qualities does a girl have in order to make friends that you don't have? I don't sit there twiddling my hair and batting my eyelashes in the hope someone will come and talk to me. Put myself and my husband in a room full of strangers and he'll be the one that makes friends....I prefer to keep to myself.
I'm not a big fan of bars other than listening to bands (former musician), but I will say this: If you go into a half empty bar, you'll be sitting by yourself because it would seem pushy to sit next to someone while there are a bunch of empty seats. If you go into a packed bar, you'll have to sit next to someone and it won't seem pushy because there are few or no other empty seats.
At this point, it would seem rude to not at least say "hello" to the people beside you and this is a way to start a conversation.
The bar was 3/4 full , they had a crew of dancers taking turns dancing on the stage in bikinis. A few people talked to me briefly , just to ask if the coat some one out on the chair next to me was mine. Maybe they were trying to break the ice and I'm too dence to catch on. Lol I was sitting in the last seat near the bartenders entrance to behind the bar. And a group of the dancers gathered next to me getting drinks from the bar tender one of them had his back to me talking with his friends but he was so close his leg was touching mine. Maybe he was trying to get my attention who knows. But I don't think a 20 guy with a hard body at a gay bar or any bar for that matter would be looking to get my attention. Anyway it was getting late I had an early meeting and if I had another drink it would be a good idea to get behind the wheel so I jetted.
I always let my wife do the talking, she is much more social than me. I like to be able to sit and watch people while I have a drink.
I can't get my wife to stop talking!
Welcome to the real world!Originally Posted by Lexi Moralas
Girls don't get attention at gay clubs (gay men prefer men) and they only get attention at non-gay clubs if they're hot. Seriously. If you put 100 average middle-aged women in a room (you're in your 40s, correct?), only a small percentage will be able to say they regularly get the type of attention that causes gates to open and suns to shine.
I don't know why so many of our members believe that just dressing up like a girl will make people want to get to know them?
Reine
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