Being a CD is like being left or right handed, something not to be changed

[PattyT]

The general view on this list is that CDs are born with this characteristic and it is often liked to something like the color of the hair. You are born blond, or with black hair. Yet this simile doesn't seem quite right. The color of one's hair does not affect personality very much, if at all and hair color can be easily changed.
I would liken being a CD like being left or right handed. This is also characteristic one is born with and is connected to the makeup of the brain. When I was in elementrary school some teachers advised my mother to get me to change from being left handed to being right handed, as this would improve my handwriting. My mother refused as she felt this would an abnormal thing to do. I believe the current view of pyschologists is that changing this is out. It is an integral characteristic and changing could have serious psychological consequences.
Being a CD seems to me to be the same thing. It is connected to our brain, just as being left handed or right handed is. I've tried to give up being a CD at times but found something missing in my life and was happier after coming back. Society does not exactly accept the CD phenomenon and would rather we change. Forcing this on a person or giving into this pressure would seem to have extremely serious psychological effects, affecting one's personality in a very unnatural way, like changing from being left handed to right handed.

[michellechong]

IMO for me to quit CD is much tougher than training my left hand to be the prominent one.

[mechamoose]

My feeling is much the same as yours. We don't have choice, we just ARE.

The world needs to catch up with us.

[Nikkilovesdresses]

I was born LH and forced to become RH by my well-meaning but naive mother. It seems that a disproportionate number of CDers are LH. Go figure.

[Janice An]

Might be interesting to take a survey on how many of us are left handed.

I am!

[Beverley Sims]

I am right handed and drive on the right side of the road.

When I am in the UK I drive on the wrong side of the road but my CD experience is no different. :-)

[mechamoose]

<= right handed

[AnnieMac]

I have a theory that many of us here are CD left-handed Pisces. Actually with me I am one of those odd ones that does some activities left-handed and some right handed. Yep, me always in the middle, explains my dressing

[Krististeph]

Hardwired CD. Period.

I've done plenty of neurophysiological research and empirical scientific investigation. Memorized Pi to over 1000 places. Flown real IFR cat iii approaches. Done walk-abouts in the SD Badlands- 3 days no food. taught myself 3 forms of calculus. Studied Kung fu for over 40 years. 8 "sheepskins" (psychology and engineering)

No way is crossdressing software addressable, at least not in my noggin. End of discussion.

probably the same for sexual orientation. You can bypass it temporarily, but no re-writing.

=== === ===

The best response to something like this was in a dear Amy (or whoever) column :

To a writer complaining that her son was gay just to piss her off:

< paraphrased and abbreviated, the real one is better>: Dear So-and-so: You can prove to your son that being gay is a choice. Do this by becoming gay yourself. Spend 6 months or so in a gay relationship, enjoying lesbian sex and activities. Then change back to being straight. Viola! You've proved simply and unarguably that being gay is a choice.

I laughed my ass off at this answer-perhaps the most perfect mocking response ever. I was deeply moved and in awe.

BTW- neither of my hands are dominant- they are both submissive. :-)

[Ressie]

What about the late bloomers? Those that didn't start CDing until they were 40 or 50? I don't know any right handed people that switched to left in the middle of their life. Oh, and Annie is ambidexterous!

[Krististeph]

I have a theory that many of us here are CD left-handed Pisces.

Sorry Annie, I have to disagree with you. I'm a Gemini, and Geminis do not believe in astrology. :-)

"I have another theory..." (Elk, A., 1967)

[AnnieMac]

Well Gemini, close enough. I once read that while Pisces are dual natured concurrently, Geminis are dual natured at different times. My wife is a Gemini, and that's supposed to be a terrible combination. You can imagine our fun. But the left- handed parts of me are like the crossdresing parts of me I guess. I guess we just weren't meant to be girlfriends

[pamela7]

left-handed, left-footed (soccer), TS, late onset. There is a difference - the degree of local societal pressure; in some cultures it's a death sentence so the desire is self-suppressed.
i'd say the CD can survive the suppression, the lifelong TS less easily.

[mechamoose]

[COLOR=#4b0082][B]Hardwired CD. Period.

I've done plenty of neurophysiological research and empirical scientific investigation. Memorized Pi to over 1000 places.

Geek. My kind of girl!

Flown real IFR cat iii approaches. Done walk-abouts in the SD Badlands- 3 days no food. taught myself 3 forms of calculus. Studied Kung fu for over 40 years. 8 "sheepskins" (psychology and engineering)

Geek! What form of KF? I did it until my back gave out via compressed discs in my lumbar. I miss that dance. Flowery motion with purpose.

No way is crossdressing software addressable, at least not in my noggin. End of discussion.

probably the same for sexual orientation. You can bypass it temporarily, but no re-writing.

I like males, some are effin pretty. All muscle and edges. Hrummph. There is nothing wrong with that.

BTW- neither of my hands are dominant- they are both submissive. :-)

Could you try these cuffs on? I just wanna see if they fit <evil grin>

[GenieGirl]

<= Ambidextrous. I shoot pool and basketball left handed. I write and throw right handed to name a few. Growing up I thought all righties did the same as I do with my left hand.

[BLUE ORCHID]

I'm a Right Handed Sagittarius, CDing over 69yrs. now ~~......

[Krisi]

I don't believe being a crossdresser is something we are born with. In the womb, we have no concept of clothing. I believe it comes from life experiences. In my case, my mother wanted a daughter, not a son and dressed me in girls clothes when she could get away with it.

I am right handed.

[JeanTG]

In my case, my mother wanted a daughter, not a son and dressed me in girls clothes when she could get away with it. I am right handed.

I could have written this myself. My mother did the exact same thing plus calling me her "little girl". I am also right handed btw.

I don't know about this analogy. Whether we were born into it or conditioned into it, I haven't heard of too many wives threatening to divorce their husbands because they're left-handed. Plenty have because of CDing. It really isn't the same thing. While some women can embrace their husband's CDing, most can't. It's not their fault, women too have a hard-wired sexuality and if another woman or man dressed as a woman is a turn-off, then there's nothing a CDing husband can do about that. We have to hope that we at least get tolerance and a DADT policy; we'll never get full acceptance (that is, the wife embracing this part of us and incorporating it into our lives either part or full-time).

Left- or right-handedness doesn't push any sexual buttons. At worst it's an inconvenience for living in a world designed for right-dominant hands. But it does not push any buttons at the core of our sexual being.

For me not being able to CD is like being forced to wear dark glasses all the time; the world loses some of its colour. It gets enormously frustrating. My wife tolerates my wearing panties daily, but the rest is DADT. I don't think I can ever expect more. It's up to me to find a way to cope with it.

[Pat]

It seems that a disproportionate number of CDers are LH. Go figure.

There are actually multiple reasons you might be left-handed. One is an in-utero neurological development issue. There appear to be multiple reasons you might be CD. One is thought to be an in-utero neurological development issue. So it would not be a surprise if there was a disproportionate number of left-handers who are CD.

Being a CD is like being left or right handed, something not to be changed

I believe there is merit to the "born this way" theory but it's not enough without adding "and we are harmless." It's been pointed out that schizophrenics, serial murderers and child molesters all have claimed "born this way" as a defense but we don't accept them as they are. So in advancing the argument that we are born this way we also have to link it to the fact that we pose no threat to society.

(Left-handed Pieces CD -- some of us have to fit the stereotype, I guess. )

[BettyMorgan]

I don't believe being a crossdresser is something we are born with. In the womb, we have no concept of clothing. I believe it comes from life experiences.

I agree with the statement about life experiences. But I'll play the Devil's Advocate with your womb comment and ask this. (I'll try to phrase this as best I can but I'm not sure the terminology is right.)

Is it perhaps a higher level of femininity that is hard wired in our brains and we are expressing it through our choice of clothing?

Personally, I've given up on figuring out a reason why I am the way I am. I've stopped apologizing. I have accepted who I am and have begun embracing it.

PS I'm left handed when I write. But I'm ambidextrous with almost everything else.

[Heather Anne]

I can remember as a teenager I was constantly getting into my sister's clothes. When I was in grade school I was coming home with black and blue marks on my knuckles on the left hand where the teacher would use a ruler to stop me from using my left hand. My mother called the school principal and superintendent to get the teacher to stop. I remember being tested and my parents were told I was ambidextrous at the time. I do different things using both my left and right hand. I write with my left hand. My right hand I use to bowl, use various tools with my left hand (hammer, drill, hand saw). In March 2004 I attended a local Tri Ess chapter meeting in Atlanta as my guy self. In April I returned and with help dressed entirely as a woman and went out in public for the first time. Been going out en femme ever since and these days all on my own.

[Chelsea B]

Sorry Annie, I have to disagree with you. I'm a Gemini, and Geminis do not believe in astrology. :-)

"I have another theory..." (Elk, A., 1967)

Okay, that made my day!

Chelsea.....right handed Pisces with an Astrologer ex-wife

[Heather Anne]

Made a mistake when using various tools. Should have been my right hand.

[Chandlyr Ellis]

I'm teaming up with Krististeph... I'm Gemini, don't believe in Astrology (or palm readings, or ghosts, for that matter)...and I am right handed. I was born this way.

[mechamoose]

Since it has seemed to matter..

Right handed AND a Sagittarius.