gay CD

[Krististeph]

Come to think of it, from my point of view, it is not kind of odd that there actually ARE gay men who crossdress?

CDs understand our own attraction to things feminine. But if you are gay, and you like men, what is the impetus to adopt femininity?

To fit in better with the old societal convention of a 'couple'?

Just wondering.

[Half-CD]

I don't associate clothing to sexuality. Who you are attracted to, in my opinion, is regardless of what you look like on the outside. Just because I like to wear female clothing, doesn't mean I'm attracted to men, I'm not.

It's a personal thing. Nothing weird about it. Your brain likes what it likes and there is nothing that can be done about it.

Just play what you like to your advantage and embrace it

[mechamoose]

I honestly don't know. I have many gay friends, but they all are 'male', feel 'male', and like men.

[docrobbysherry]

Change "gay" to "bi" and it helps explain lots of issues we struggle with, Kristi!

[Jenniferathome]

Straight or gay or ... Has nothing to do with cross dressing and the fact that every sexual preference is represented here, proves that point.

[mechamoose]

I'm happily Bi, married to a boy in a girlsuit, and I still don't know.
Most of the CD/TGs I know are MtF. FtMs are out there, but do a better job at 'blending' than we do. The ones I know ROCK it.

[Tracii G]

The reason I CD is to feel my femme side and not to pick up men.
I would rather my relationship/love interest with a guy is male to male.
Actually the way you made that statement I found it offensive.
Not only to MtF CD's but to gay men in general. Gay men don't search out MtF Cd's because they are looking for men not women.
You don't know how hard it can be for a CD to be accepted even in the gay community.

[Beverley Sims]

Any gay people I know have stuck together, they are not attracted to me except from an interest in someone different.

[Pat]

Not really too much of a mystery... judging by the gay crossdressers I know. They don't dress full-time, most of the time they present as men (as most MtF crossdressers do.) They like to crossdress for the same reasons any of us do, but within their relationship they like to underscore that they're "the girl" in the relationship and they guys they're with are totally OK with that.

[CONSUELO]

Well there are lots of variations and very few neat boxes. It is all part of being human.

[Stephanie47]

Unless you're a crossdressing gay male it's all speculation. I don't know why I like/love wearing women's clothing and trying to appear as womanly as possible. The "Why?" is totally different than "What I feel when I wear women's clothing."

Not intending to hijack a thread, but, to just raise a point for consideration to answer your question. I am a heterosexual male and I like to wear women's clothing. In the era in which I was raised and formed my sexual identity wearing women's clothing was taboo. I grew up "hooked" on nylon....nylon slips. How would people react if I presented totally male, as in, no makeup or wig or breast enhancements, what would people think back then...or now. So maybe, I bought the wig to make my hair longer, and, now make it appear I have hair..period? Then, the boobs. If I'm going to wear that dress I really should have boobs. And, the makeup may be needed for my out of the house strolls because, well, maybe I'm trying to conceal the fact I am a man who likes to wear sensuous feeling and pretty garments rather than the mundane attire of men.

So, purely conjecture as I am a man who has no interest in men, could it be that a gay man may have an identity problem of self acceptance and feels it necessary to appear as a woman to be with another man?

And, purely conjecture, is it possible men who seek relationships with men who wear women's clothing are gay, and, also may have an identity problem of self acceptance and feel it necessary to be with a man who presents as a woman?

I don't know, but, I've thought about those situations which have arisen in threads on this forum.

All the gay men I have met are into other gay men and not men who wear women's clothing.

It's all conjecture on my part, but, I've read and encountered so many gay men who felt it necessary to have a relationship with a woman because society dictated that for so many years. I also know lesbians who did the same. So many variations to consider.

[Rhonda Jean]

Oh, come on Krististeph. If you really though it was odd or unlikely that a man who wears women's clothes is gay you'd be the one person on the planet that thinks that way. WE are the ones who know that the two don't necessarily go together. Everybody else assumes gay, and it'd be difficult to sway that opinion. In fact, even the slightest tilt toward anything feminine causes most people to go immediately to gay, even if their with a woman. I'm guilty of it too! There's an Ulta store I like to go to because there's a young male SA there who is always beautifully made up. He dresses a little femmy, but I can't tell if he's wearing women's clothes or just tight trendy male clothes. I can tell he's a guy. He's not trying to pass as a woman (he definitely could!). None of that makes him gay, but I'll bet that 100% of the people who see him assume that he is, and I bet they're 100% right!

[Lexi Moralas]

I think this may speak to the original topic of the thread , I have read a few articles from different points of view stating that there is a segment of gay men who are not inclined crossdress normally do so to increase their sexual opportunities. As we all know there is a whole pool of men some very attractive that don't identify as gay and wouldn't consider being with a man. Yet they have Fantasies about a girl with something Extra. For example consider say a 50yo gay man bald , hairy maybe a bit out of shape who isn't getting the attention of the 30yo hard bodied gay men at the bar. Now take that same guy shave his body , puts on a corset high heels a wig learns how to do make up and present A feminine image and it opens up a whole new level of possibility with men that would be out of reach otherwise.
Now that is not to say that there are not gay men you also love to cross dress because there absolutely are.
This is one point of view I had read about that there seems to be some controversy over in the t / gay community. I Thought it was interesting and might be relevant to this thread

[Tracii G]

If you all are curious about these kinds of things how about asking the person face to face?
Being part of that community at least in my region I have yet to meet a gay man that is into a guy that crossdresses.
For some it is kind of a repulsive idea.Not to me but to some of my close gay friends it is.
I have had long talks with them and a few think being TG is odd.
Most gay men are after a bf not a bf that is both male and occasionally presents female.
The way you are stereotyping gay men here is beyond belief.

[Vickie_CDTV]

Gay men may crossdress for other reasons, but it does explain why the transvestic fetishism "syndrome" is virtually unheard of in gay men (no sexual attraction to women/femininity.)

[flatlander_48]

Ks:

Don't forget that we are not dealing with absolutes here. There are many variations between the spectrum ends of male and female and gay and straight.

Also, remember that gay relationships don't necessarily have the same gender roles as straight couples. Often there is more flexibility involved in determining the mechanics of the relationship.

DeeAnn

[nikkiwindsor]

I'm far too unique and complicated to be judged by simple stereotypes. The only way to get to know me is to converse with me and even then we're talking about a lengthy conversation. And added to that, I'm dynamic, fluid and ever-changing within my own mind, soul and spirit. I'm far from easily understood. Even I have often have trouble understanding myself much of the time...Nikki

[Tracii G]

You would think most here wouldn't think in such stereotypical ways but that still seems to be the case.
I'm really shocked that some think one person of the gay relationship must be playing the female role.
Seems some CD's still don't get it and fall back on thinking things the way the vanilla crowd do.
Thats what makes me think we have a group of imposters among us.

[Georgette_USA]

That is true of the Lesbian population also. I have as friends a married couple with children that are a female and a Trans*Male. He jokes and will call his partner the wife, she doesn't think it's funny. But she was the birth mother to their children.

My partner and I, never married to each other, never had such roles as female and male in the sex side of things.

[Adriana Moretti]

, is it possible men who seek relationships with men who wear women's clothing are gay, and, also may have an identity problem of self acceptance and feel it necessary to be with a man who presents as a woman?


r.

it is possible....I always ask the men I date ( and thats alot lately LOL ) what is it ? What is floating your boat here? Why are you attracted to me? The answer has always been that they were attracted to the femininity and the little something extra. Does that make them gay? I dunno...but thats always been the answer I have been given multiple times. Are they gay? Probably not....bi......totally....

[pamela7]

hang on a minute folks, what about drag queens? they are known/thought/seen widely to be gay, or mostly gay. It's a form of CD that without doubt reveals the natural demographic within the gay community to cross-dress. I'd expect it to fall in the normal 1% regime. So if 1% of gay men are into CD, and there are 5% gay men, you're talking very very small numbers, so you simply don't come across them often, even in gay communities. you will do though if you go to these shows.

CD's are 1% right, so 5% of CD's ought to be gay; just as rare but on this forum there's easily plenty of bi and gay folks. It's a numbers game, and if everyone's closeted (90%+), then spotting the rare unicorn is unlikely, right?

There is no different impetus. I mean I like women, women are attracted to men (mostly), so me dressing as a woman is not exactly going to attract them right? Wrong, they flock in droves. So, by the same principle, a DQ will receive lots of gay attention.

Krististeph, there's no different reason for a gay man to cd than for a straight to cd: it's expressing their femme side. :-)

[Krististeph]

Thanks everyone, I know I was stereotyping, but I wanted to try looking at it from the reverse stereotype.

I think the answer to what i wanted to know (perhaps not the question I asked) is that it is very hard for a person to grasp the concept of sexual attraction and gender identity being different, unless have had some form of association with it.

Because I'm not gay, I can't see the attraction of crossdressing in the way that I like to crossdress to someone who is attracted to men.

So basically I've just re-iterated that we crossdress for different reasons.

I know this sounds like I am re-inventing the wheel, but I think it is very important for us to question our motives, to better understand ourselves, and those who are not exactly like us.

Somebody wrote a song about driving on Chicago's Lake Shore Drive... Does this mean I should not go out and experience it for myself?

I will continue to examine why I feel the way I do- it is at odds with the great majority of people, and it causes problems. It is worth continued attention.

And thanks again to all my friends and acquaintances here for your insights. Remember what Linus Pauling said: "The best way to get a good idea is to get a lot of ideas".

-kristin

[Beverley Sims]

If you look feminine, whatever your bias, dressing as a woman and passing is quite a challenge.

If you can do it and want to, why not?

[Tina_gm]

You would think most here wouldn't think in such stereotypical ways but that still seems to be the case.
I'm really shocked that some think one person of the gay relationship must be playing the female role.
Seems some CD's still don't get it and fall back on thinking things the way the vanilla crowd do.
Thats what makes me think we have a group of imposters among us.

Or... it simply means some, probably many cders don't have a good understanding of same sex attraction, just like many who are gay don't have a good understanding of those who cd.

[Tracii G]

Good point gmutt.
@ Krististeph over examination of why you do things maybe is part of problem if its causing problems.