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Thread: Self-Acceptance and Truth

  1. #1
    Member Lucey's Avatar
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    Self-Acceptance and Truth

    Self-Acceptance, has this been a hard word for you to ask yourself over the years? Have you been truthful with your response when you answered this question to yourself?

    Recently Katey888 in a post has stated... self-acceptance is a WIP for me. It waxes and wanes over time - as does the whole feeling of what I need to do to satisfy this aspect of me. I think it's the hardest thing I've ever had to face about myself regarding 'truthfulness' and I continually question what the truth might be about why and what and if...

    I doubt that the feelings will ever completely leave me but I do suspect that for me, they may well pass into remission again, as they have for long years in the past (last dressed mid November - opportunities but no desire since... ) So while I may accept who and what I am and need to an increasing degree, I'll probably always ponder on it - I don't think "it is what it is" will always be a useful approach for those of us that need to think about it...


    For many times over my life, I have asked these same questions to myself. And the answer has changed many times that I have asked myself these same questions. Must add that one of the hardest parts for me over the years has been to answer these questions "truthfully to my own self."

    Recently though I have come to answer these questions truthfully to myself, "that I am a CDer." Time, mistakes and learning has finally help me answered these same questions of "who am I" and "can I live with this fact that I am a CDer" to myself and at the same time be truthful with my answers. And the answer is as a CDer, this is "who I really am" and this will never change for me for the rest of my days. But now I can live with my answers and now I can enjoy who I am and without all of the painful baggage that came with Cding for me.

    Also more important for my own self is the fact that I can live with these answers and be comfortable with who I am as a CDer. Have been married for 40 plus years and have only spoken about my CDing with my wife over these 40 plus years.

    I will not CD openly in public at any time or will share this with others, other than here on this forum. Where I can say that I have never been this open with anyone before about being a CDer other than with my wife. Guess this same quietness of the subject of CDing has also been one of the hardest parts of my life.

    Teresa a community member recently posted in a thread this following... I felt I was trapped in solitary confinement!

    For myself there were many painful days over the years, when doubt, guilt and shame and other self thoughts at times would cloud my judgement when I questioned myself about same questions. Again there were times when I really thought that when I woke up the follow day, this would some how change me back into what society thinks as a straight person and all of this CDing would go away and just be a bad dream that I had during the night.

    Well over my 60 plus years, CDing did not go away and yes, there were times when there were lapses with dressing up and I would not CD for days or weeks at a time. But this was only short lived for me and CDing as I now find it, is a part of my life that will never change.

    Also must add that although there is always the sexual attraction and desires that come with CDing for me. It is now more of the enjoyment of my feminine side that I find more pleasurable and attracting with CDing and the real joy of just being myself for all it is worth.

    And all of these years the answer has been looking straight at me, every time I went to the mirror it was looking at me straight right in the eye, I am a CDer. It was being truthful to myself that has helped me finally see and be able to answer these questions of who I am, and now I can look into that mirror say with a smile on my face, this is who I am, a CDer and will enjoy being who I am for the rest of my days on this small planet of our's.

    You really want to thank the community and the members for the open and truthful comments and thoughts that you present in your topics and posts here on this forum.

    And please, any thoughts or comments anyone has are welcomed. Also thank you for taking the time to read this post and for being the truthful and honest community you have made this forum to be, I would really like to call this my second home.

    Again thanks to all.
    Last edited by Lucey; 02-28-2016 at 01:15 PM.

  2. #2
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    That had to feel good!

    I know I'm still working on figuring out exactly where I am but each time I do figure a piece of it out, it's almost like Spring got here early. I wish you a pleasant journey and many happy hours celebrating or just relaxing as you accept and acknowledge your feminine aspects.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
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  3. #3
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Lucy, Thanks for all the sharing here. You are so fortunate to have a mate you can share with about this. A few of us have NO ONE, period, to talk with about this strange compulsion we have. I really am in "solitary confinement" , and usually, only have store cashiers to converse with!! But, not about dressing. I have an older brother in prison for life. I think he has more conversations with prisoners or guards, than i do, with anyone. This dressing thing does make one different from the masses, though many in the masses may secretly also do it, or try it. I know my religion forbids it, too, and that makes more problems accepting myself with this. I have admitted it to G--, and can say no more. It is part of me, that will go away, at the big sleep.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  4. #4
    Member Lucey's Avatar
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    Alice Torn... A few of us have NO ONE, period, to talk with about this strange compulsion we have

    Other than my wife, just like you, there was no one to talk with about this subject of CDing. This forum has been the only other way I have expressed any of my thoughts or feelings concerning CDing or it's aspects and it feels like I have found a new world.

    Sarah Charles just stated... it's almost like Spring got here early.

    Yes, being able to express oneself as the real person that we are, is a very refreshing moment and I feel a new found freedom that comes with it. For old feelings or even new found feelings can now be talked about and discussed with people that listen and talk about their thoughts and feelings also. And a place were we can learn something new about our self's and also important to me at least is learn from mistakes I made in the past. As life is a continuation of learning.

    And at this time, a very important item that I have found here on this forum and from the community here, is that no shame or other such feelings are blocking us from talking or expressing what we have held back from saying all of these years.

    Thank you for your reply's and for being open with your thoughts and comments.


    Sarah Charles... I know I'm still working on figuring out exactly where I am but each time I do figure a piece of it out, it's almost like Spring got here early.

    I am still new here, but believe we have found and are in the right place to find out more about ourselves. And it seems that we are fortunate to be surrounded with some intelligent and caring people who make up the community here.

    Wishing you can also find your inner happiness.

  5. #5
    Junior Member Milli Montanari's Avatar
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    From time to time I ask myself whether am I simply a CDer or actually more than that. Trying to answer myself truthfully is very difficult, but these days I usually conclude that I am on the transgender spectrum somewhere. It's never as extreme as wanting SRS but it can get close sometimes. I find I am happiest when I am about halfway between CD and TS.

  6. #6
    CD/TG
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    Truth can be a bit fluid, in the sense that where I am on the TG spectrum can vary from mild TG to full-blown wanting to to "all the way". I figure that the fact that it varies means that i should not "go all the way" though HRT might be in my future, who knows?

    Self-acceptance. Well that's a toughie indeed. Definitely a work-in-progress. I've sought therapy. I've handed my issue over to God. My wife knows about it but has difficulties with it. It's hard to accept self when the person you love and trust the most has difficulty doing so.

    This Lent I have given myself a break from CD'ing. Put all my stuff away, dragged out the old boxers. And I am miserable and need someone to talk to but for practical reasons can't right now, my therapist is too far away and I'm too busy.

  7. #7
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    I am a gendequeer XY, Lucky enough to be married to an XX who is just as male as I am a girl.

    Aside from dressing needs, we like who we like. GMs can be damn pretty.All muscle and sweat and.. damn. I'm Bi/Pansexual. I love me a pretty human, regardless of 'gender'. Cool people are cool.

    Not quite the same as wondering how us cross-gendered people get fit into that, We each have our own path.

    I wear these clothes because I *like* them. They make me feel more like myself. GM clothing is BORING. It hasn't changed for over 100 years. Suits? Men wear suits. What has changed? Collars? Lapels? Maybe the cut of the sleeve?

    BORING

    Give me a pretty rose tinged outfit any day. Please don't force me to wear man-bags. It is really tacky and quite lame.

    Did I say boring? if I didn't I meant to. BORING,
    Man clothing is just so predictable. We girls *LIKE* being outside 'the box'. We tend to revel in it. /swish

    'Shaking what my Momma gave me'

    - Miscreant Moose
    Last edited by mechamoose; 02-29-2016 at 09:20 AM. Reason: Edited per OP request
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  8. #8
    Member Lucey's Avatar
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    JeanTG... And I am miserable and need someone to talk to but for practical reasons can't right now, my therapist is too far away and I'm too busy.

    I must say, that since joining this forum, I have found the members of this forum and community want to hear what you want and would want to say. Please

    Lucey

  9. #9
    Ayrica Renee Gingerpriss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Milli Montanari View Post
    From time to time I ask myself whether am I simply a CDer or actually more than that. Trying to answer myself truthfully is very difficult, but these days I usually conclude that I am on the transgender spectrum somewhere. It's never as extreme as wanting SRS but it can get close sometimes. I find I am happiest when I am about halfway between CD and TS.
    I absolutely feel what you feel. I have dealt with those same feelings my entire existence it seems. Sometimes it's shame for the way I feel, others I feel so alive I can barely contain myself. I feel I go in long drawn out periods of no activity, then BAM! I am super girly and want nothing more than to be pretty and feminine all the time. The past few years I have allowed myself to be as feminine as I can get away with. My wife has her concerns, but she is trying to be open.I truly believe that it makes me a better husband, I feel so much closer to my wife when I am going through these times. But then the thoughts start to flood in about even seeking HRT, or SRS and I freak out because i do not think I want that, but those thoughts are always there. I would lose her for sure, she told me so.

  10. #10
    Member Lucey's Avatar
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    mechamoose... Not quite the same as wondering how us cross-gendered people get fit into that, We each have our own path.

    It is more than good to read and hear what you have to say and I'm curious now to listen. After all, who of us here on this forum has chosen the path we live from birth. I did not remember making such a choice. But at this moment, have to say now, I am finally enjoying being who I am.

    Myself, I knew early on that I enjoyed women's clothing. And at that time and even now, I could not tell you why these feelings were there or why they have continued through my life and are there now.

    Also...

    mechamoose... **** *******, man clothing is just so predictable.

    Can you refrain your language in the future, at least on a thread I have started. And could you "please" edit this from your post. Thank you.
    Last edited by Lucey; 02-29-2016 at 01:06 AM.

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