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Thread: Strange comment at work from the Big Boss Man

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    Strange comment at work from the Big Boss Man

    So, today we had a meeting of all of the members at work. There is a formal dinner coming up, and the boss man was talking about how the women could wear a gown or their uniforms. Then he mentioned, "The guys, well you have to wear your uniform; well, I guess, if you wanted to, you could wear a gown." When he was saying this, it felt like he was looking at me, but I think he was looking above me to some of the people standing up.

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    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    He was probably trying to deflect any chance that he would be accused of sexually discriminatory conduct. Technically, if he didn't give the males the same right to make a choice of uniform/gown he would've been violating the equal employment laws. By the same token, if the option of wearing a tuxedo had been afforded to the men he would've been required to allow a woman to wear a tuxedo.

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    He probably had to attend some mandatory briefing on transgender rights, and, realized as an after thought he could not restrict the choice of wardrobe based solely of sex.

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    Hi Rebeca, It sounds like the old double standard to me.
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    Unfortunately, there is no transgender rights in my line of work. At least, YET. Military has not woken up to that fact; however, I did hear a rumor that my branch is accepting applicants who have fully transitioned; not part way. Has to be fully transitioned, including the SRS. It's crazy. Gays and lesbians can serve. To this day, CDers are probably too afraid of ridicule if they came out. I'm too close to retirement to risk it, plus I'm in DADT relationship.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeca_abigail30 View Post
    When he was saying this, it felt like he was looking at me, but I think he was looking above me to some of the people standing up.
    Most likely the case, and was probably just trying to be 'funny'...like this:

    "This so totally happened to me as well! In a meeting, my boss made a remark about Caitlyn Jenner as he glanced in my direction...I slapped his face and ran out of the room crying 😢 ...I sure hope I didnt out myself 😡 "

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    If you are in a military unit, it does seem to be inappropriate for your supervisor to state that male Service members had to wear dress uniforms but female Service members had an option to wear uniforms or civilian formal gowns. The dress code should be the same for all members as Starr suggested. Your supervisor's remark was probably poor humor unless you there is some reason for him to suspect that you crossdress.

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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeca_abigail30 View Post
    however, I did hear a rumor that my branch is accepting applicants who have fully transitioned; not part way. Has to be fully transitioned, including the SRS.
    There is an economic component to that. If someone has completed transition, the military would not have to cover the medical expenses, the drugs and the time off. I don't know the specific costs, but surgery of any kind is not inexpensive.

    DeeAnn

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    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    You could always ask him what he meant by that comment he made. Then you'll know.,,,,
    Di

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    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    People are in transition to acceptance. We are the least understood group. They get the gay thing, but we who are Transgender are even more mind-boggling as we threaten the female territory, being that we are male, and desire to tread on female territory, and are traitors to the male gender, being that we are feminine in physical presentation and a disgrace to our gender.

    We cannot win in the arena of public support and don't suppose that will change to the point that we ever will.

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    Silver Member Jodi's Avatar
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    There is a formal dress blue uniform for females. long skirt with the short mess jacket.

    jodi

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    Rebeca,
    Wouldn't it have been great if he'd added after , " You could wear a gown, because I'll be wearing mine !"

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    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    As an ex military type, I hated the thought of these stiff and starchy dinner meets etc. I much preferred a few beers with mates and partners away from the base.

    Would have been great to have had the opportunity of dressing up girl though, even in WRAF uniform. I do love a personal contradiction, but I can live with this. I am a contradiction in 'normal' life.

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    Quote Originally Posted by ChristinaK View Post
    People are in transition to acceptance. We are the least understood group. They get the gay thing, but we who are Transgender are even more mind-boggling as we threaten the female territory, being that we are male, and desire to tread on female territory, and are traitors to the male gender, being that we are feminine in physical presentation and a disgrace to our gender. We cannot win in the arena of public support and don't suppose that will change to the point that we ever will.
    ^this pretty much sums up our situation well.
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    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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    Aspiring Member Cristy2's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeca_abigail30 View Post
    Military has not woken up to that fact; however, I did hear a rumor that my branch is accepting applicants who have fully transitioned; not part way. Has to be fully transitioned, including the SRS.
    Christina (Christinac here on the forums) was a very high ranking officer in a certain branch of the military. Before she died (Jan 2013) she lobbied hard to get the rules concerning transgenders changed to include them. One compromise she was able to get on the table before her death was that transgenders had to be fully transitioned. She was in hopes that if that was amended it would be a foot in the door to one day include those who were just beginning or a good ways into transition and have not had SRS yet.

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    Senior Member Nikkilovesdresses's Avatar
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    Well if all the guys wear dresses and you show up in uniform, my are you going to feel like a putz.
    I used to have a short attention spa

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    Quote Originally Posted by rebeca_abigail30 View Post
    Unfortunately, there is no transgender rights in my line of work. At least, YET. Military has not woken up to that fact; however, I did hear a rumor that my branch is accepting applicants who have fully transitioned; not part way. Has to be fully transitioned, including the SRS. It's crazy. Gays and lesbians can serve. To this day, CDers are probably too afraid of ridicule if they came out. I'm too close to retirement to risk it, plus I'm in DADT relationship.
    Hi Rebeca,

    Just curious are you talking about "mess dress" for formal dinners. Up here in Canada we have a formal mess kit for each element. For us Army types it is a scarlet jacket, tuxedo shirt and blue trousers (men and women) but women have the option for a blue long skirt and heels. Just curious that's all.

    Cheers

    Marcelle

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    Marcelle,

    I guess your Mess Dress would be the same as our Dinner Dress, which this event would be. We would wear our white shirt (not tuxedo pleats type shirt, just regular button down white, long-sleeved shirt), miniature medals, and bow tie. Depending upon the event, the command has the option to require the women to wear their uniform (if they are active or reserve) or to wear a gown.

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