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Thread: omegle has crushed my confidence

  1. #1
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    omegle has crushed my confidence

    So I got all dressed up tonight. Glued on my forms, and put on a white shirt with no bra. Still trying to perfect my makeup, but I felt I looked pretty good. I got online for some webcam chatting and every single person I talked to immediately called me out as a guy. It was crushing. I still need work on my makeup skills. A lot of work.

  2. #2
    Member Tonya Rose's Avatar
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    Huge Huggs Sister!!!!! im on your side!!!
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  3. #3
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    Bella, if you think you will pass as a genetic woman, you have raised the bar too high. It's not realistic. It's not just makeup skill (that helps), it's not just clothing (that helps), it's not just accessories (those help too). No, there are a million little cues that give us away. You can't outsmart millennia of evolution and a lifetime of observation. You can still interact with others who know your actually a man. It's quite fun actually. I did it today over lunch with a friend in a restaurant.

  4. #4
    BEING YOUnique is AWESOME Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Do women even go on webcams for chatting to people that are not family or friends?

  5. #5
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    I'm not one of 'you', no disrespect. I'm a hippie long-hair person.

    Most of what you are going to get online are men looking for something sedacious.

    We, as girls, just don't fit into that. XX people are pretty damn selective, . XY people tend to be much less so, regardless of clothing. I believe males are dogs, women are cats.

    Nothing wrong with either one, just be practical.

    I don't care much about you having forms on or not. You choose to present as you choose.

    What did they gain by that exchange? What did you lose?

    I'm not trying to be confrontative, I'm asking because I want to know.

    How does that make you any less?

    Kitty / Moose
    Last edited by Lorileah; 03-06-2016 at 02:50 PM. Reason: be nice
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

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  6. #6
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    Have you tried howhot.io? If Omegle left you with any shreds of femme self confidence, that site will clean up the remains quite nicely 😡 (just venting, I did manage to find a pic that wasn't rated as down right fuggly so I'm OK 😉 )

    Seriously though, you need a confidence boost, I'd suggest searching Denver William (misty valley paramount) on you tube. The makeup skills are pretty high end but the results are I think more than worthy of online chat (and achievable with some practice)!

  7. #7
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Instant give-aways: Wig. Most people can spot a wig, which makes them look closer about everything else. Facial skin texture. Most women have spent a lifetime moisturizing. Men don't. The skin looks quite different, and unless you're a professional make up artist, there's little chance you're going to get it right. Brow line. Most men have a slightly protruding brow bone at the level of eyebrows. Mouth. Men usually have wider mouths, squarer jaws. 5 oclock shadow, we don't even have to mention. Adams apple. Another give away.

    And that's only from the neck up. There are plenty of other obvious differences that will give us away. Shoulder/waist/hip ratio, hand size and how well they're kept, most older women have flab around the back of their upper arms, most crossdressers wear their bras too high, it goes on and on.

    So don't be hard on yourself. Very, very few can pass physically, and even then, the voice often gives THEM away.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  8. #8
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. If you learn to accept yourself for who you are (transgender/crossdresser/whatever) and not try to go from what you're NOT (cis-gender male) to what you're NOT (cis-gender female) you're going to find happiness easier to achieve. There will still be hateful morons in the world who revel in letting their mean-spirited selves out on the internet (I suppose you can argue that they're just being themselves just like we are) but you won't be their hostage any more. Accept yourself and anything bad they have to say rolls right off you. At the same time, take some responsibility -- if you go to places like that with expectations of universal praise and acceptance you've engineered your own failure.

  9. #9
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
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    I can understand that it would be a blow to your confidence. However, I think you should stay away from webcams, unless it's a site with other crossdressers. Crossdress to be happy with how YOU feel about yourself when you look in the mirror. Don't worry about how others perceive you. If it helps at all, I couldn't call you from your photo. You look like a woman to me. I can only wish I would look as good!!
    Last edited by Lorileah; 03-06-2016 at 02:52 PM. Reason: no need to quote OP
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  10. #10
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. If you learn to accept yourself for who you are (transgender/crossdresser/whatever) and not try to go from what you're NOT (cis-gender male) to what you're NOT (cis-gender female) you're going to find happiness easier to achieve. There will still be hateful morons in the world who revel in letting their mean-spirited selves out on the internet (I suppose you can argue that they're just being themselves just like we are) but you won't be their hostage any more. Accept yourself and anything bad they have to say rolls right off you. At the same time, take some responsibility -- if you go to places like that with expectations of universal praise and acceptance you've engineered your own failure.
    Jennie, you are spot on with this. It's unfortunate that our development into out T-selves usually has much more time dedicated to the look we desire than time dedicated to getting our head wrapped around our nature. I know there are a lot of reasons for this, but it does lead to plenty of opportunities for disappointment, hiding, denial and dead ends, usually decorated in great makeup and stylish outfits.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
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  11. #11
    Administrator Di's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Princess Chantal View Post
    Do women even go on webcams for chatting to people that are not family or friends?
    Agree we don't
    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again. If you learn to accept yourself for who you are (transgender/crossdresser/whatever) Accept yourself and anything bad they have to say rolls right off you. At the same time, take some responsibility -- if you go to places like that with expectations of universal praise and acceptance you've engineered your own failure.
    A thousand likes!
    You do not need to get validation from others ... You have nothing to prove... Accept and love yourself.
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  12. #12
    Trish Trishpdxcd2's Avatar
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    Well I have never been on that site but there are plenty of places that you would be more than welcome and celebrated. I go on crossdresserchatcity quite a bit and people would love you there.

  13. #13
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jennie-cd View Post
    Time to climb on the soapbox and do my pitch again.
    <- Member of the Jennie-cd fanclub

    The girl is speaking the truth }:>

    Kitty / Moose
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  14. #14
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    Perhaps you're setting your expectations too high. I've found over the years that my eye sees what my mind wants to see. Even in guy mode I've found that to be true. When I see pictures of myself I realize I do have some weight to lose on my belly. I see that my face is that of a mature (old to my granddaughter) man. I don't know how you voice comes through on such sites, but, that would be the first clue. I think everyone would be better off presenting themselves as they really are. If you're a man who likes to wear women's clothing, then own it.

    Just out of curiosity....What were you discussing? Were you attempting to pass yourself off as a woman and talking to women and/or men? I'm just curious. I like building military plastic models, and, if I were on a site of that interest, I don't think I'd be wearing a dress, wig and makeup.

  15. #15
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    I like building military plastic models, and, if I were on a site of that interest, I don't think I'd be wearing a dress, wig and makeup.
    Oh come on, why not? It isn't like those plastic soldiers are going to care.

    I wear skirts in the jewelry workshop all the time. Things don't come out any differently

    I'm also 'old', but I just think of it as getting closer to the wild, gray-hair lady stage, when no fraks are given.
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member karynspanties's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Belladdresser View Post
    So I got all dressed up tonight. Glued on my forms, and put on a white shirt with no bra. Still trying to perfect my makeup, but I felt I looked pretty good. I got online for some webcam chatting and every single person I talked to immediately called me out as a guy. It was crushing. I still need work on my makeup skills. A lot of work.


    Welcome to the club sister. Most of us will NEVER pass as a woman. Nothing to get upset about. Just remember it's all mind over matter. If you don't mind...it don't matter. You just need to get to thatpoint where you do not care what others think. Once you do....it's like water on a ducks back. It just rolls off.

  17. #17
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Bella,
    It's a shame you get dressed up just for webcam chatting, going out and meeting other CDers at social meetings won't crush your confidence the same way, people can say what they like on the net and just walk away, they may not care if they hurt you or not .

  18. #18
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    One thing I found is that lighting makes a very big difference in photos and video.
    Remember that Seinfeld episode?
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  19. #19
    BEING YOUnique is AWESOME Princess Chantal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    I like building military plastic models, and, if I were on a site of that interest, I don't think I'd be wearing a dress, wig and makeup.
    My life partner who happens to be a crossdresser has shared pictures of herself prettied up with her models and at her workdesk with the model forums she participates on. Geez she even participates at the local model club meetings and shows while crossdressed. She doesn't act differently when prettied up and doesn't make it the focus point. We even take in military, navy and aviation museums in which she has no problems with conversing in length with the hosts. To think of it, her best friend is very conservative minded but doesn't let her crossdressing expression affect their strong relationship of their shared passions which include model building, buses, and etc.

  20. #20
    New Member MNwild10's Avatar
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    Keep at it. It's a process, and at the end of the day if you're good with how you look, that is what matters!

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  21. #21
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    I'm on a few websites that are more male in nature and when I add input to threads more often than not members tend to think I am a female.
    If I post a pic of me holding an item my nails are painted or I have some sort of bracelet on or rings.
    I have posted a few pics where I have pink skinny jeans on when holding an item so its the perception of what they see,style/color of clothes (I never show from the shoulders up.)
    I have had a few guy members send me PM's and they are always very nice and never say nasty things and how nice it is to have a woman on the forum.One guy said his wife loved my outfit in one pic so that was really nice.
    I think it helps if you actually think out your posts as a GG would and word it as a GG would.

  22. #22
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    I didn't know making models was a purview of guys.

    So I guess you could wear a dress on the cooking sites? I could have sworn we all here sort of agreed what you wear shouldn't decide where you go and what you do.

    That said, if the outed you right away, I too wonder what kind of site you were on. Funny thing, when I was on a dating site and made it clear I was TS, I got zero...zero...replies. When I made no mention of it I got several...when I slipped it in at the end, I got more. You see, it all depends on the site and what you are looking for
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    “Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,

  23. #23
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    It's not only us

    From what I see I don't think we have an exclusive on morons on the internet. Unfortunately it is the perfect home for every inadequate and prejudiced specimen on the planet

  24. #24
    Non-binary/Questioning Mayo's Avatar
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    Sexually-oriented sites (which I understand omegle to be) attract trolls and misogynists of every stripe. If they're not specifically looking for trans women or CDs then you're probably going to get shot down for being a guy unless you've gone the full feminization route or can fit yourself into the 'sissy' category (and even then somebody's bound to be crudely or hatefully critical about something). From what little I've heard, it seems almost equivalent to seeking validation as a trans woman on 4chan. There are assholes waiting around every corner just itching to make their unsolicited opinions known, on the internet as well as in real life.
    Last edited by Lorileah; 03-07-2016 at 01:29 PM. Reason: no need to quote post above yours

  25. #25
    Bad Influence mechamoose's Avatar
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    I have 'odder' interests. I participate in sites where it is more about horndog interests than relationship related ones.

    Sex is easy, relationships are hard. Gender stuff doesn't even begin to come into it.

    Do you want to fool them? Do you want to be invisible and give them the 'surprise' later?

    At the end of if, you need to be confident in yourself. Else what are you going to do when that 'secret' comes out?

    Be who you are. We don't have to fit in or be accepted, but if you leave yourself in a position to be apologetic, then what have you really done?

    Defend yourself.

    Kitty / Moose
    Last edited by mechamoose; 03-07-2016 at 01:02 PM.
    - Madame 'Kitty' Moose

    I yam what I yam and tha's all what I yam." -- Popeye the Sailor

    "If I am not for myself, who will be for me? And when I am for myself, what am 'I'? And if not now, when?"

    - Hillel the Elder

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