Jennifer, I completely agree about the "hold your head up, eye contact" thing.
When I began going out I did that to show confidence, to show that I belonged where ever I was as much as the next person. Over time that "fear factor" faded away, the confidence was internal and didn't need to be displayed all the time and I became ME. Now it's just me when I'm out. It's no longer about needing that acceptance from others as I have obtained that from myself. I've become comfortable being me when out and it's a wonderful feeling. It's become natural to me and I don't shy from contact with others as I did at first.