I was out to dinner last night with Jennifer-GWN from this forum and while I didn't think about it as we were chatting and ordering food, it hit me when I got home.
Now, a little background. I don't go out that much, maybe once a month or so as an average. I'm strictly a part time cross dresser and I do not identify as a woman. I'm a dude who cross dresses. Even so, I am also a big advocate that anyone, even me, can go out and have fun without "passing" as a genetic woman. I am wholeheartedly a believer in this.
Now, like everyone else here who has feared going out, the first time I turned that door handle I was petrified. Over time, I simply decided to just suck it up and go out even though it was still scary and I was obviously a guy in a dress. It's always easier the next time I go out. But, I am still self-conscious and like all people, I have no desire to be embarrassed but I am prepared to deal with the consequences of my choices. And to date, I have had no problems. A smile goes a long way, I think.
So, back to last night. I was able to walk to the restaurant from my home in San Jose. I walked out the front door, walked past dozens of people and shops and sat in a public seating area while I waited for Jennifer. I asked the hostess to seat us, we ordered, chatted and I then I headed home after a few enjoyable hours. The change I feel/felt, now is that I reached some new level of being relaxed.
I've written many times that one should make eye contact, hold one's head high and "own it," as many others here have also stated. All that is true, but I realized that it's true to a point. It applies to when one is still fearful. Last night I didn't think about "owning it." I didn't force myself to make eye contact, I just did. I walked with my chin up because I can see better. I think it's kind of like speaking a foreign language. There is a point where you stop translating in your head and you just speak. Last night, I just spoke.
Kind of a neat feeling. If it can happen for me, it can happen for you.