Progression and the Narcissist in me.

[Launa]

Hi all,

I haven't been around too much these days but hope you're all doing great my friends! FYI for those that don't know me I came out of the damn stinky closet 4 years ago and life's been pretty good for the most part. I went from looking like a dude in a dress to a dude that looks alright as a lady for my age at 50 +. LOL
Anyway I'm wondering where the next high will be? I'm like an addict chasing a first high on something. I came out for the 1st time 4 years ago at a halloween party and thought I was on top of the world. I didn't think it could get better than that at the time but I was very afraid of having my picture taken back then, I avoided anybody with a phone or camera. I was afraid of any kind of social media. FFW a few years and things have changed, I now find that I love to have my picture taken with anybody and everybody unless I feel that someone is doing it to mock me or just being a F-smart ass. Then its a middle finger to the joker.
Anyway I have been to a few public fundraising events in the last 6 months that are not LGBT related and I sometimes get my pics taken with a lot of public figure folks posting them on FB the next day! I have become friends with a lot of these people via my "female persona" and now I really get excited when I see myself out there with the rest of the world on social media. It feels like I am free!
Last Nov my picture was on the back of a Gay Magazine from a halloween party even though I'm not gay LOL and recently I have just been asked by a friend to walk front row at the next Provincial Pride Parade which would be an honor but I admit I will be scared! Also I will be attending an upcoming fashion show in 2 weeks and might be having my pic taken there too and possibly on You Tube as well.
To the point, I always seem to wake up the next day after a big event whether its a Pride Parade or a public event and say to myself what the F did you just do Captain Bonehead? What did you just do? You just had your picture taken with the world! Then after a month or so I find time heals everything and I seem to be looking for something bigger and better.

May you all keep looking for something bigger and better with your lives!

Cheers my friends!

[bridget thronton]

You seem truly happy in your own skin - congrats

[Teresa]

Launa,
I have to agree with you, about having pictures taken and the having second thoughts aka Captain Bonehead.
I wouldn't want to be without the pictures, how else will we remember what we looked liked and how the event went . Is it narcissistic or validation ? All I know is when seeking help through counselling they put over my CDing message clearer than talking about it when attending dressed was out of the question.

[Robin414]

Interesting thread Launa, I was just thinking the exact same thing...all about 'raising the bar'! I think I look OK but now my skills are improving I, well, expect a little more 😉

[Alice Torn]

I must admit that i, th baby of my family, even though i have striven to serve others well, and worked hard, am a severe narcissist . It is not just my dressing, too. I complain about having no SO, but I am too blasted into myself to have one, and love to post my photos wherever i can.