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Thread: The battle to overcome the purely sexual charge of crossdressing!

  1. #26
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I don't fight the feeling. I haven't outgrown it either. And I still feel guilt sometimes. But that's from imagining what other people would think if they knew. The arousal is just too strong to give it up!
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  2. #27
    Member Annamarie B's Avatar
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    Agree Ressie, why fight it, enjoy it! Imagining what other people might think is part of the arousal for me!

  3. #28
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Oh, yes, I too. can relate to your experiences.
    Hugs, Carole

  4. #29
    Junior Member LauraWeb's Avatar
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    I know I still get excited by dressing; at least at first. I have had this whole weekend for dressing and at the start of it I was really fired up. But after that start I have just been enjoying being Laura. Not sure how that all really works. I actually enjoy the later feelings more now of just being me. But each time when I start up again it generally comes with a sexual component. Interesting discussion.

    Sincerely,
    Laura
    "Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy,
    but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading.
    But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl?"
    - The Cement Garden

  5. #30
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    That sounds like the 'textbook' case of the "heterosexual cross dresser". I wonder how much of it was to satisfy the sexual need or if that was merely a "side-effect" associated with the act of doing it. For many I think getting past that part of it takes the "sting" out of it somehow.
    How much of it is getting dolled up and pleasuring yourself vs having this totally other sexuality of imagining oneself to be on the female end of receiving male attention or your boy self wanting to be pleased by your girls self like having ones own girlfriend or all of that tied up in it.
    Probably some different variation on that for each person.
    As you age you ask yourself wait a minute there is more to this. I got to a point where it was more about having a 'real' experience with it which is far more fulfilling than the eroticism.
    But in the end most of us are sexual creatures, when you realize that, it becomes more easy to accept that part of it if it is there.
    As for waning hormones, could it be for some that as T level goes down so does CDing since it was testosterone driving it in the first place?

  6. #31
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    The common denominator amongst us cder's has & always will be the sexual component. For some of us, the need to be relieved is closely akinned to dressing. For some of us, the sight of a beautiful woman's reflection reinforces that sensuality lives in our minds. I am so glad that the sexual component has not passed.

  7. #32
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    Just out of curiosity, why is being aroused by the dressing something one needs to "get rid of"? I mean, what's the downside? I hear this a lot from other trans (mostly older), I don't get it, why is arousal a bad thing? Men are designed to be, well, aroused, like we are designed to breathe and drink water etc.

  8. #33
    This Time Around Lauri K's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bimini1 View Post
    As for waning hormones, could it be for some that as T level goes down so does CDing since it was testosterone driving it in the first place?
    I would suppose it depends on where you are mentally / physically along the spectrum, but if you are on a T driven high to dress up and have sex, well then you may get that extra boost side effect when you dress as a woman to fuel the desire.

    Or alternatively if you are like many of us, T levels are at historic lows and the desire to dress / become a woman is still very much alive and well, and although sexuality is not in the front seat it is not a prime reason to dress up.

    I am sure I made no sense to many reading here, but just saying that dressing up is not all about sex. So in saying this it makes me think or lean hard to those in the category of being more transgender and not as much being CD.

    Reality is I dress up for me, and if a sexual encounter happens that's a huge bonus ! And yes I still love to have sex despite my low T levels, but be warned that T is poisonous and is not your friend in this long journey.

    LK
    Way too Girly ! I couldn't smell the smoke, and now I'll watch the flames

    Out on Parole ......Woo Hoo

  9. #34
    Junior Member LauraWeb's Avatar
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    Interesting discussion on Testosterone levels. I actually suffer from Low T and see an endocrinologist about it. I have had the low T for years (at least back to the late 90s or early 2000s.) I wonder if there is any connection between my CDing and my low T. Could once influence the other. My biggest concern is that CDing drives my T lower, since lower T levels can lead to bone problems and other issues. I currently use T replacement but I am iffy on that as well.

    Sincerely,
    Larua
    "Girls can wear jeans and cut their hair short, wear shirts and boots, because it's OK to be a boy,
    but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading, because you think that being a girl is degrading.
    But secretly you'd love to know what it's like, wouldn't you? What it feels like for a girl?"
    - The Cement Garden

  10. #35
    Silver Member STACY B's Avatar
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    The sexual side is most often brought on by being young and in your prime and having lots of testosterone. But as far as the guilty ashamed or even repulsed feelings after your release is brought on by a sudden release of Testosterone from said release. Once you have done the deed the overwhelming flood of T takes over your body and you are for a time normal as far as the world is concerned and like most Men do not or never will be turned on or compelled to wear female clothes.

    So therefore the older we or you get the less T you or we have and the less flood you get or even if you get any flood at all. Most of us are kept in check from peer pressure from friends and family jobs life . But most depending on the severity of the gender dysphoria you have will relent from time to time and then after you are finished you will conform to requirements of your surroundings . So you and all of those who confirm this as happening to you know why this is the case,, So just get ready the older you get the more you will not care or feel ashamed or even par take in said action,,lol,,,

    Oh by the way if you are full blown Trans with Gender Dyphoria and go on HRT this won't even be on your Radar,,lol,,, Because being Transsexual is the least sexual thing on the Planet,,,lol,,,,
    Yull Find Out !!! lol,,,,

  11. #36
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Sherry, i get you there. Alice puts the personals ad women i have tried to know, to shame, sadly. But, i also realize that looks and sexiness are not everything, and someday, all lose their sexiness and drive, and late, in our final years, we realize this, and know the inside is still the most important. But, using artistic creativity to make the illusion of a beautiful woman, in those attractive , sensuous clothes, when i have no mate to love, is such a thrill. I can get a bit burned out, and hang Alice up for a while. Very low T level here, too.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 03-20-2016 at 09:48 PM.

  12. #37
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    As was said earlier in the thread, I was aroused by any feminine item, but then again I could be aroused simply by thinking of any feminine item! Over time, as I separated my gender and sexuality in my mind I became less and less aroused. When I started dressing completely being aroused was a deal-breaker and a good tuck and being aware of the situation in public pretty much kept things at bay.

    Since then, the Spiro has put the problem totally to rest!

    As far as a connection between low T and CDing, I thought about that until I had mine tested. 660. After Spiro cut my T down to 12 I found that I actually had less urge to "doll up," but more to live in comfortable female clothing.

  13. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    Just out of curiosity, why is being aroused by the dressing something one needs to "get rid of"? I mean, what's the downside? I hear this a lot from other trans (mostly older), I don't get it, why is arousal a bad thing? Men are designed to be, well, aroused, like we are designed to breathe and drink water etc.
    agreed.

    it is, and always has been a completely sexual fetish for me, i don't think i've ever got dressed without relieving myself at the end, it's fun and it'll be a sad day when i no longer get the urge.

  14. #39
    New Member 1263kimberly's Avatar
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    I been crossdressing now and then I was in the closet cd I came out about 6 month ago. I love dressing up and go to drag show I been out one time. it turn me on. but I have to hide it form the guy at work. my girlfriend knows about my crossdressing and she's okay with that and it is a committed relationship she. we even had sex when I was dress up. my mom know I crossdress but my dad wound freak out if he found out.

  15. #40
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    I think working to understand the source of the revulsion and self-disgust/hatred (my experience of it) is the most potent thing to could possibly do. Because it is pretty natural to be so excited, and you can manage that physical inconvenience. Seeing sexual arousal as evil is pretty traditional though i guess.

    I took me years to find my way through self-hatred, it wasted so much time and energy in my life.

  16. #41
    Aspiring Member AnnieMac's Avatar
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    I have long had this thought that we as CDs are having a relationship with ourselves, sexual and non - sexual. We are fond of our "girlfriends" that are som much like us.

  17. #42
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    Such a shame that so much guilt is associated with such a natural function. It seems that all of the posters (and I) have had a nearly identical experience and only feel guilty because that's what they have been taught culturally.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  18. #43
    Member mdavis's Avatar
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    Like many have said, I could've written your post myself. Sounds very familiar. I don't feel the guilt anymore. I've come to accept that crossdressing is a part of who I am. So glad I found this site. Makes me realize I'm not alone.

  19. #44
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    I think we are socially conditioned to feel guilt about harmless sexual activities. My entire sexual exploration from about aged 5 to my early teenage years was via cross dressing and it was lovely. Dressing up is still a very sensual experience for me and yes sometime results in "guess what?". To which I add "So What?".
    Last edited by CONSUELO; 03-21-2016 at 08:55 AM. Reason: grammar

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnnieMac View Post
    I have long had this thought that we as CDs are having a relationship with ourselves, sexual and non - sexual.
    I think that's the crux of the issue. The problem is that this is an inherently selfish indulgence, and that selfishness can come to create a rift between ourselves and our loved ones, particularly when we ignore their sentiments.

  21. #46
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Crossdressing without the sexual element? What could possibly be the point? What next? Flavorless bacon? Or bacon that taste like lima beans so we don't have to feel guilty about eating it? Let's rid ourselves of this Puritan impulse instead.

  22. #47
    Lisa_vin lisa_vin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikell View Post
    Father Guido Sarducci is a fictional character, On his first appearance on Saturday Night Live, a skit called "How to Pay for Your Sins" on a 1978 episode he discussed the prices for various sins, the cost for masturbation was what he called it....a cheap sin, 35¢

    so like in the skit when your waiting to be charged for your sins before you get to heaven dont come up 35¢ short and all should work out.
    That's hilarious! He was one of my favorite all-time SNL characters. I dressed as him for a Halloween party once and, due to an overload of "garbage-can" punch, got the drunkest and sickest I ever got in my life. It had to be hilarious for others to see a falling-down, drunk-out-of-his-gourd priest stumbling around. Afterwards, I wished I truly was a priest so I could pray away the pain and agony of the worst 24 hour hangover a person could possibly have.
    Lisa

  23. #48
    Member JaniceP's Avatar
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    I love the skit he did when he found the Bill for the Last Supper!

  24. #49
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    Several current threads touch on this question. The first time I went to a hair salon for a roller set wearing a skirt I was so turned on I thought I would die. (Then there was the time my GF gave me a handjob, under my robe, while I was under the dryer in rollers in the salon--but that's a different story ) Nowadays I have a shampoo-and-set about every 2 weeks so naturally the charge has worn off a bit. I too have tried to separate the sexual thrill from the other motives for CDing, and the fact is these days I just feel more comfortable and more myself in a skirt and keds and a high ponytail than I do in chinos and a buttondown. But the sexual thrill is still powerful, even in my 50s. I do think that the self-pleasuring aspect of CDing can be a big turnoff for SOs (it is for my wife), so I try to maintain some balance between self-directed pleasure and the pleasure of simply looking / feeling good, and the pleasure of pleasing my partner. It's not easy, especially as I age and my overall sex drive wanes. But guilt and shame are not helpful or healthy emotions and there is absolutely nothing wrong with sexual pleasure from wearing women's clothing. My high school GF said it best: "It makes you happy, and you're not hurting anyone. You should do what makes you happy."

  25. #50
    Aspiring Member josie_S's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AnnieMac View Post
    I have long had this thought that we as CDs are having a relationship with ourselves, sexual and non - sexual. We are fond of our "girlfriends" that are som much like us.
    This is so insightful. And true for me as well...

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