how do you integrate both sides, the masculine and the feminine?
i am pretty lucky for a cd in realtion to my body. i am 5,5 feet, i weigh 112 pounds and have a very daintily structure.
a few years ago there was a time where i only wore female clothes. nothing too feminine like dresses or skirts. it was all very androgynous, but people still thought a lot of times that i am a woman. for example when i wanted to go to the public bathroom the charwoman always told me that i was entering the wrong room (i was going to the mens bathroom ). but after two years it was too exhausting for me. men thought i was weak and women weren't interested in me. after that time i started to dress more masculine and even started lifting some weights. i am still not very muscular, but more than before.
it is "funny" how different people treat me now.
i like both "lifestyles". but i feel so torn back and forth! for me it is extremely exhausting to have those two feelings. some days i feel very masculine and some days i feel very feminine. i want to feel complete and not torn!