Mistakes and lessons learned first time out

[Teresa]

Chris,
I'm not sure if being hit on is your first priority, I keep smiling to most people but inside I'm just trying to keep control of my heels, my venue has wheelchair access ramps, they are far trickier to deal with than stairs.
It's funny how the concern what other people think fades away, there is such a cross section of Cders you begin to realise that you haven't done a bad job with your clothes or makeup. When I think of it like that it must be a similar feeling GGs get when they go out !

[Helen_Highwater]

Chris,

One thing I forgot. Plan for toilet breaks. Sorry if that seems a little unladylike but if you're going to be out for any length of time it's very likely the call of nature will arise. As you're with others they will undoubtedly guide you. For anyone else planning to go out "comfort breaks" can be one of the most stressful aspects of being in the muggle world. Just look how often in comes up in posts. So make sure you "pay a visit" before you set out!!

[Allisa]

Chris- violence only begets violence. Remember your a lady and such language as you posted is not lady like. Just a few more things to remember if you want acceptance as a woman.

[abby054]

There is good advice here. Something that I did not yet see here: if you go out in cold weather, wear an appropriate coat. It helps you blend in and my Mama always insisted that my sisters wear a coat regardless of hemline length or sweater tightness.

[Teresa]

Helen,
I had to smile at your toilet break comment, last time at our meeting I said to the person next to me that I needed a break, passing the comment as I stood up , see you in half an hour ! When I returned I commented that by the time you've found what you're looking for you've gone off the idea !

Abby,
I've really struggled finding suitable coats, hardly any of the charity shops had any, I much prefer the lightweight raincoats I feel they're more stylish. Finally when I did find one I had to carefully lengthen the sleeves .

[Chris_Cross]

Again, much thanks to you all. I'll be following much of what I've read here. One item I'm bringing that I haven't seen: flip flops for driving. I've driven in these heels before and I feel more comfortable with more familiar footwear.

And with regard to unwanted attention, well, that's going to get corrected, the easy way, or the hard way.

[Vickie_CDTV]

You might want to get a (costume jewelry) wedding type ring with a (faux) diamond. I don't know if in this day and age that would stop most men, but it wouldn't be a bad idea.

Like others have said, if you are going to drive be sure your car is in good condition and everything works, and carry a change of clothes in case of an emergency.

[abby054]

Abby,
I've really struggled finding suitable coats, hardly any of the charity shops had any, I much prefer the lightweight raincoats I feel they're more stylish. Finally when I did find one I had to carefully lengthen the sleeves .

Teresa,
You are so right! Finding a good coat is difficult. In my climate, when it is not blistering cold, it is raining. Coats are so truly necessary that even teenagers will not go out without one. Without a coat, I would get read in an instant, maybe as a CD, but certainly as a madman.

I have four coats: a long, retro 70s, down coat (I look like a pillow with hair and heels when I wear it), a gorgeous dark leather coat (my workhorse! even in drab), a long heavy black wool coat with a hood, and a beige raincoat. I found all of them for a total of less than USD 100. I like to dress up my coat with a pretty muffler or scarf, tied per instructions on Wendy's 25 Ways to Tie a Scarf video on YouTube.

[TrishaTX]

Well 1st of all welcome to a world we all strive to make someday. I used to have to hide my dressing from so SO and as such was always nervous wreck. That caused me to forget stuff, have to ditch stuff and always have 14 backups plans plus a hotel room. I came out 4 years ago...and now it is much easier. There is still the real world though ...so what most of the girls told you works. I always leave my key hidden by the car somewhere so I have an out and leave cash in it. A brush, lipstick, powder, cash, and always check where you are going in advance. If you are visiting new places , try to go there before hand and if not at least call and make sure it is cool. Most people own the phone will tell you.
Finally, enjoy yourself, you might feel like a crossdresser when you are out...it is because you are! Some pass more than others but some people can tell...who cares! enjoy yourself and be you...always

[Meghan4now]

Don't freshen up your lips in a dark theater. That lipliner might just be an eyeliner!

[Helen_Highwater]

Megan,

Are you speaking from personal experience???

[rachael.davis]

I transitioned at 53. In the time I was male I never , even once, witnessed male priviledge. I can't even define it. It gets talked about a lot, and maybe it exists in the ivory towers of big business, but going out clubbing in drag...I don't think you'll notice any loss of male priviledge, unless of coarse you are talking about peeing standing up.

Primarily a matter of personal safety - my big sister commented "of course you don't feel safe, when you were actively male, and hating on being alive you were one of the scariest people I knew, thugs avoided you"

[Meghan4now]

Megan,

Are you speaking from personal experience???

You know it sister! And get some practice walking down a ramp before wearing 5 inch heels. Stairs are fine but slope is TOUGH.

[JamieQ]

For those not out I think number one on the list should be to take your time where you go. I mean don't hurry as you shop. Just do it leisurely and like you belong there, because you do. I would say make eye contact and smile or say hi. Its common to do so here anyways. Also be not afraid to talk if needed. People probably know your not a girl/woman anyways or most are so busy wrapped up in their own little world they really may not notice and if they do most really don't care...

I say take along a few extra clothing items, makeup, etc. Definitely carry a purse and woman's wallet with a bit of makeup for touch up when you use those planned restroom visits, but I say get in and do what is needed and get out rather quickly. I would definitely check out the places beforehand. Many here think going to a town or city away from home is safe. Maybe safer but I have ran into people I knew 1400 miles away from home. I also went to a college town a few hours away knowing there was a good possibility I would encounter someone I knew. I'm real relaxed when I'm out and I'm almost certain I wouldn't be recognized even close up. Tracii might be able to vouch for that.

Check it out beforehand, relax, act like a lady and enjoy the outing...

PS Probably best to leave the heels home unless the occasion warrants them and you're sure your feet can take it for the time youre going to be out.

[Lexi Moralas]

I have Been out in the vanilla pubic a lot over the years. There has been a ton of great as advice above I will try not to repete any of it. Here are a few tidbits I picked up over time that I wish used earlier on.
As mentioned be confident
Dress for where you are going
The mall on a week day just after opening during the school year (so it's not packed with Teens )is a great set of " training wheels " if you will
The tile floors at Macy's are slippery as hell ( fell on my ass once )
Accessories and the little details sell it
I wear a cheep fake wedding and engagement ring to help discourage men from approaching me
Throw a few tampons in your purse , ( the details may help " sell it" if some one sees you digging in your purse who knows ) if nothing else it makes me feel more authentic and boosts my confidence.
There can be a fine line between ordinary and sexy , i.e. I have gone out during day wearing tight jeans , 5" high heel booties a long Baggie sweater hanging off one shoulder , full make up , Jewelry ,a pink baseball style cap and big girly blingy sunglasses. I drew a little attention but too much , I think it worked for me lol.

And before you go out dressed go to a Walmart style store and really look around at all the genetic woman. Not just the pretty ones that we espire to emulate.
And I think you will realize 100% of us girls on here look more feminine when dressed then I would say about 60% of the real woman we see all the time
And if they are not ashamed to go out in public the why should we be.
Have fun girl and good luck

[leannejacobs]

As you stated earlier keep a tight hold of your things, I once left my bag in a shopping trolley with my phone, wallet and other bits and bobs, I never realised until 30 mins later, fortunately some honest person found it and put it to the police station, unfortunately I had to admit to the police man I was a crossdresser to get it back lol he was very professional and didn't bat an eye lid, how embarrassing though.

[Karmen]

I found that wearing two pairs of thin tights (pantie hose) is very effective if you don't shave your legs. The first pair acts as a barrier to stop your hairs poking through. I'm fortunate enough to have fairly light coloured hair, so I can get away with very thin, light colour tights. If you have dark hair, your options might be more limited unless you go for thicker tights.

I always take a small shoulder bag for my keys, money and makeup (lipstick and concealer, usually) and a folding hair brush.

If you don't shave your legs is even better if you wear 15 or 20 DEN black nylon pantyhose and over them fishnet pantyhose with small holes. I have strong dark hair and this combination hides them quite effectively.