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Thread: Outed at will

  1. #1
    Junior Member Amalie's Avatar
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    Outed at will

    -to two relatives and a friend that came by my house the other day (well they're all my friends, and hopefully still is).

    Guess it was a bad day to CD if I wanted to remain in the closet, but since I do want out a bit more maybe it was a good day after all..

    I could have avoided all scenarios with excuses like being asleep or in the shower etc, and taken my time to change.. But I figured as these are of the most common people to come by me I could try outing myself and just 'owing' the situation instead. (And I was well aware I could not 'unring the bell' after).

    They were all males around my age group, and came by at different hours as I was home and dressed all day (which I've been a lot now during the holidays).

    The friend that came by was the one I was most sceptical to I guess as he's somewhat into body building and being a bit more on the 'macho' side.
    And second on my scepticism list probably was my cousin (a year older than me) who works in a psychiatric hospital (but is also the person I've known the longest of them all).
    Last is a close living stepbrother of mine (a few years younger) who's still in school and living in my father and stepmothers house, where I was living as well until half a year ago (before I bought this house very nearby).

    The outing to all of them however probably went better than my expectations, guess they may have taken it with a grain of humor after the initial shock but in no form of ridicule or humiliation, and no sign of hate, intolerance or disrespect was given from any of them. They pretty much just acted as everything was normal and seemed quite accepting overall, but did ask a few questions of course.
    And since none of them ran off as soon as they saw me I did get the chance to explain myself as who/what I am as well.
    -That I am a crossdresser/transvestite and enjoy dressing up as a woman, but that I do not know what the future will bring; as in progressing further or stop enjoying it (for a while? forever?), but I do know (and accept) that this is a part of me and is who I am today and what I enjoy doing now.

    Funny thing about my stepbrother though is that he didn't really have a reaction to it at all (not even a inital shock), everything just seemed normal, so I just had to ask if he was as okey with it as it seemed he was.. well he claimed that he had actually known for quite some time already, by connecting a bunch of clues left by me (most subconsciously, some consciously I guess) over a longer period of time, as in he may have known since before I started accepting myself and practicing the way I do now.
    Well at least I do know now that I'll have his full support on whichever road my desires takes me.

    So I guess this outing has been a success so far, but for whether something will change between us in the future (for the better or worse), or I'm outed to others by any them (deliberately or not) I guess it's for time to tell.

    (Still waiting on torches and pitchforks at my door, as I do live in a place where people may have those around , no but I do live in Norway in what I believe to be a quite open minded society (with exceptions of course) so my outings do have a good chance on success at being accepted or the least tolerated (I hope)).

    As for what I was wearing; 4" heel sandals, nude hose, panties, bra and forms, skirt, blouse, necklace, bracelet, earrings, wig, makeup, lipstick/gloss, nailpolish, and having my purse next to me.

  2. #2
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    Wow. You took a big chance and it paid off, I hope you played a lotto ticket. Well one things for sure you now know they are good friends because a friend will deal and change and accept anything for another friend. I'm happy it worked out and let us know how future meeting go. Thanks for sharing.

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Mykaa's Avatar
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    Amalie. Im very glad for you and being so sorted out. I think whatever you decide in the future it will be good. Im very happy for you and the good responses you got, I know I have wondered a lot lately about just being more open. I know some of my friends would likely be a lot less tolerant.
    I know from anything youve posted picture wise you definitely have a nice look going for you.
    Mykaa is me! Discovering Peace throughout from the Girl within.
    David Bowie "Don't stay in a sad place Where they don't care how you are..."
    Disturbed The Light "The truth is waiting there for you to find it
    It's not a blight, but a remedy"

  4. #4
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    Hi Amalie,
    Good for you, your bravery payed off and you now have a more open life. Your young and lovely, go and get some happiness for yourself.
    Love KristyE

  5. #5
    Silver Member
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    If you outed yourself to them, you can assume you have outed yourself to many others. Good for you.

  6. #6
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    Hi Amalie, That's one sure way to find out if they are your real friends.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

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  7. #7
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    Good for you girl, sounds like a good day, i know you feel good about yourself and you should. hugs.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  8. #8
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Good for you but wow what a chance you took. Glad everything turned out so good, your just too lovely a girl to be hiding.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  9. #9
    Junior Member Amalie's Avatar
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    Thank you to all the replies here, and it is definitely a good feeling when it works out right

    Maria
    Guess I should have played the lotto, just saw a someone from Germany win $100 million in eurojackpot, but I believe I did get a pretty good reward from my outings anyway; can't put a price on a true friendship.

    Mykaa
    I do have some friends that I believe to be less tolerant as well, but I guess I'll never know until I'm really out to them too.

    Heather
    That is to be assumed indeed. I do not consider this a secret anymore (at least not of which is in my control), but I think I'll still keep my future outings to where I find it more necessary, rather than announcing it to the world (yet?).

  10. #10
    Junior Member Amalie's Avatar
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    Arrow update & new event

    Guess I could throw an update and add a more recent event to this thread.

    For the update; it seems I've made the right decision on which people I've come out to so far as my outings haven't affected anything between us till now.
    Everything is as it always was, and I and they still act/are as normal when together, me being dressed or not.

    And for the event; I decided to show up on my mothers doorstep this evening fully en femme.

    She knew I was coming for a visit but not a clue of my dressing (thought of warning her beforehand but I figured this would be a shock either way, and I also think it's best to be there; visible and seen when coming out, makes it less likely to be disregarded and avoids giving false images in their head).
    As she's my mother I do know her quite well and believe her to be quite open minded and accepting (question is when it's about someone close to you), and thankfully I was right about her views too.

    Well after the inital shock at least, as at that moment she did ask some questions that may have been disrespectful in the way they where asked, like 'why' and 'are you going somewhere' etc., but as I showed up without a warning I expected a shock and didn't really take these questions very serious.

    But as the shock faded and we had talked for a bit it dawned on her the first reaction she had, not only for me but for any cd/tg/ts for that matter how that could seem disrespectful and ended up apologizing sincerely for that, at which I said it's fine though as I knew she wasn't in her right state of mind then and didn't really think before asking.
    All other questions came out much more respectfully in which I happily answered as best as i could.
    And I chose to come out as a cd/tv as that's as much as I'm certain of, and if it really is more that the future will tell.
    (Maybe I managed to open her mind a bit more on the trans* issue too).

    After all she also said she'd always love, accept and support me in whatever path my desires takes me, and if this makes me happy (whether that be a temporary, recurring or life long phase) she'd encourage me to pursue it.

    Oh and also present was one of my younger half brothers at age 10, he only had one question when I walked in and greeted him; 'Why are you a girl?' in a curious way.
    I took that with a bit of humor and answerd with my most simple truth; 'I just like it.', which he seemed fine with and went back to his gaming.

    Well that was this evening, and I'm now happily out to my mother as well
    (Did have a humours moment on the end too when I was about to leave and she'd give me the usual goodbye hug; 'a bit higher now' as I was standing in my 4" heels)

  11. #11
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    Amalie, you are quite lucky to have an accepting mother. You were also very lucky showing up with out telling her that you would look different. Almost always, the members suggest that one does not just spring our femme self on any friend or family. Should you have more family members to reveal yourself to, give them a heads up first that you'd like to introduce them to Amalie.
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Mykaa's Avatar
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    Amalie Im glad that went well for you, My Mom knows about me as well, Ive had several conversations with her. I cant imagine any good Mom not loving there children regardless of how they look. I still admire your courage being true to yourself and not hiding away.
    Mykaa is me! Discovering Peace throughout from the Girl within.
    David Bowie "Don't stay in a sad place Where they don't care how you are..."
    Disturbed The Light "The truth is waiting there for you to find it
    It's not a blight, but a remedy"

  13. #13
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    Wow, quite an evening! I'm glad that your family and friends are so accepting. Lucky girl !
    - Dani

  14. #14
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I think it's so wonderful how this has been working out for you. I hope the US gets to be equally tolerant soon. I hope you have continued good luck in your adventures.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
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    That's great that your mom is accepting!
    I'm a nice Jewish girl.

    I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.

  16. #16
    Member Liz57's Avatar
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    Wow. So much braver than me. I remember only a few days ago you getting the nerve to go through a drive thru. Now this. At 62 I find myself wishing I could go back in time and do as you did instead of having hidden it for 40 years. I feel very happy for you and maybe a little jealous.

    Liz
    So never judge a book by its cover
    Or who you gonna love by your lover
    Love put me wise to her love in disguise
    She had the body of a Venus,
    Lord, imagine my surprise

  17. #17
    Junior Member Amalie's Avatar
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    Thanks to all the replies

    Heidi
    I am indeed lucky in that, but my outings so far have been to the people I believed to be most accepting too.
    And for any future outings I will consider giving a heads up first.

    Jennie-cd
    I thought the US was quite tolerant but I guess the western europe and/or scandinavia may be a bit easier for cd'ers.

    Liz
    Well I don't know if I would be able to do what I do now if I was born in the same time either, for one no internet would definitely make cd'ing (learning, support and purchasing) more difficult.
    And though I never lived it I believe it was a much harsher time for trans* people to be accepted as well.

  18. #18
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    When I was about 17 I was out to all my friends.
    About six to ten of us (the neighborhood kids) would get together, guys and girls.
    Of course I encouraged cross-dressing and drinking.
    At least three of us would cross-dress, the girls thought it was funny.
    As we got older the cross-dressing only happened at Halloween parties.
    Now I'm in the closet and when I see my old friends no one really talks about it anymore.
    I wonder if any of them are on here?
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  19. #19
    Junior Member Amalie's Avatar
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    Sound like it was a lot of fun Judy, but sure took an interesting turn in placing you back in the closet.
    Maybe they went into the closet too, or denying their desire to dress for complications..



    Well I just wanted to update this with the outcome from my recent visit to my mother.

    As now I'm also out to a aunt of mine and two cousins (her children now emerging adulthood).
    My aunt is very close to my mother so this was a likely outcome, and as I've always known her to be a kind, spirited and open minded person I think it went just as well too.

    Received a text from her today saying that she thought I was brave for coming out and it was a good thing I didn't want to hide who I was anymore. And that she'd love me just as much independently of what I'm wearing and what name I'd go by.
    My cousins too said they did not have any different feelings toward me now than before (though they nor my aunt have seen me dressed yet).

    Looking forward to someday introduce them to Amalie in person as well now.

  20. #20
    Member Jazzy Jaz's Avatar
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    Cool! Good for you!

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