Do you ever get jealous of your SO

[lily1974]

I was going to post this as a reply to another thread but I didnt want to hijack a post.
I have been dating and living with my gf for almost 10yrs. She has been for the most part accepting and most times supportive. I do love her despite our little differences. Mainly little things but they do add up at times. She tells me she loves me and supports me but then sets limits on how far I can dress. However then she will throw a curve ball and suprise me from time to time by telling me to do something unexpected. Example to clarify is, she has always maintained that I was never to step outside fully dressed. Underdressed is fine but thats it. Then the other night I had forgotten my headset in the truck. I was already in a dress so I asked her to go get it. She looked me dead in the eye and said "you are dressed you go get it." Wow I wasnt expecting that. Also when I first told her I wanted to dress she fought it at first. Then one day she handed me a dress in the store telling me it would look good on me. She never seems to stop amazing me. I bought a pair of sandles at payless. When they arrived she saw them and got mad. Not because I had bought them but because they were cute and they didnt fit her too. She wants a pair just like them.
That being said I think the woman in me gets jealous of her sometimes because she can wear what she wants when she wants. So I start resenting her for being a gender born woman. If that makes sense. I know she loves me for me and doesnt judge me the way I am. Now dont get me wrong I dont want to transition, I do like being male at times. Its just most other times I wish I was female more.
I know I can't be the only one having such a time. I do envy most of you ladies who look good and pass well beyond what I am able too. Also those who have significant others who encourage you to dress for a night out with the ladies.
Share your experiances I would love to hear them.

[bridget thronton]

Sounds like buying her some stuff once in a while when you order your stuff would be appreciated

[josrphine]

Hi Lily, My wife now but 10 yrs together. She is tell me how great I look as a women. She loves me more as a women then a man. Every once an awile I get you look better in that skirt or dess then I do. She is a good looking women but has put on some pounds. I give her a lot of confidence that she is great at that time, so it subsides. But I know she gets a little jealous, when we are with a group of people that don't know I am a man. We will be talking an 1 will say how lovley I look. Being a lttle bit of a show off I will say not bad for a 75 yr old man. Then the group is all over me. She give me that look an I say WHAT. I am very open about who I am, Like you I like being a man too. Jo

[lily1974]

Bridgete: I am sorry I did fail to mention that I do buy her things as well. Since the day we went shopping thay she pointed the dress out we both get things while we are out. More often then not I tend to put my things back becaise she wants something a little more expensive. I do spoil her so much. Lots of times we share clothes because we wear the same size dresses. I just have feet twice her size and am alot taller. What is a knee high skirt on me tends to be a maxi dress on her. I dont do mini skirts so she gets to keep those to herself. She does get a little upset from time to time because I wear a size 3/4 shorts and she is a 5/6. Dang her fem butt. Lol. I get upset because she is a 34dd and I am only a 32b. Dangit again.

But the moral is I do spoil her.

[Dinky39]

You are not a woman. You need to build a bridge and get over it.
"I do love her despite our little differences. Mainly little things but they do add up at times" Maybe she feels the same about you...and that isn't including the crossdressing. It comes across to me like you think are doing her a favour by going out with her?
Women have boobs. Men don't. That's the reason she is bigger than you. Her arse is bigger than yours? I wouldn't go on about it. Zip it.
Seems to be you have a very understanding partner. I'd count myself lucky if I were you and maybe cool the jets. Women do not like men trying to out-women them.

[SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

[MissVirginia-Mae]

I think if I had a SO, She would be jealous of me as I dress to the nines everyday as a complete woman.
Not to brag at all, but I look 100x better than other women I see on the street and their outfits, but I think most of my fellow sisters would agree that they do too.

[reb.femme]

Do I get jealous of my wife? Only when she beats me at ten pin bowling. Otherwise no.
Never jealous, just love her.

Becky

[Dinky39]

I beg to differ,I think you are bragging. It's that kind of attitude that pisses off wives and girlfriends like myself. I get fed up of hearing this poor me,my wife doesn't understand my needing to dress. Well,I get fed up of hearing this bs as well. Me,me,me.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Dinky,
you seem a little angry in general....
Again, I said I wasnt bragging but I do think I dress better than most women I see on the streets when I am out.
Its my opinion and thats it.
Im not one to brag and I am not going to get pulled into an argument.
We all have better things to do.
I hope you get over your anger

[Angie G]

Never my wife is awsome and has been good with my dressing from the day I came out to her.
Angie

[heatherdress]

Lilly - If you are really jealous of your girlfriend because she can dress in women's clothes all the time and you can't, you probably need to get some counseling or you will seriously jeopardize your relationship. It seems like she is both accepting and supportive of you and your dressing, with understandable limits. But you can't be jealous of her because she dresses like the woman she is all the time and you can't or don't. Make the most of what you can do and the love and support that your girlfriend gives you and enjoy life.

[Dinky39]

Virginea,I have no interest in starting an arguement with you. Maybe you do your make up&hair really well to try and present as a woman but you are not. Every gg woman is different. How my next door neighbour presents herself is completely different to mine. I accept I get angry sometimes but you would want to get over yourself.

[lily1974]

Let me get this straight since people seem to have a chip on their shoulder.

I do appreciate my gf and yes she does know it. Jealous is being used by a broad term not "i hate her because". It is meant as a "I wish mine were". Yes I understand I am a man and she is a woman.

Needless to say hatefulness from other members has no place in a forum filled with people who are questioning their sanity.

My Grandmother used to always say. "If you cant say anything nice, dont say anything at all."

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Dinky,
Again, this is pretty pointless....
I am not "full of myself" by any means....
Am I a GG woman?
No, but I present myself as a woman and am accepted by the other members of this forum.
Ive seen your other posts and you seem angry with your SO.
Totally understandable but dont take your anger out on us.
This is a peaceful group and hate and anger isnt really welcome here.

[Tracii G]

Virginia have you ever posted a pic of you here?
I don't see one in your profile.

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Tracii,
Could I ask what that has to do with the current topic?

[Lauri K]

Not to brag at all, but I look 100x better than other women I see on the street and their outfits, but I think most of my fellow sisters would agree that they do too.

I think like Tracii as well that a photo of Virginia will help everyone's perspective on the matter, especially when she made such a loud statement in a previous post, I do not think Tracii was out of line given the facts.

[Tracii G]

I would love to see a pic thats all

[MissVirginia-Mae]

Again,
it was simply my opinion....
It wasnt a loud statement but just commenting on the topic.
So, posting pictures makes all the difference?
I post one and Dinky posts one of herself and we compare and see who looks better?
This is way off topic.
I see Dinky's point of view and she is entitled to her opinion by all means just as I am.
My point was that the average woman on the street dresses fairly poorly these days and I think we all look better.
Again, my opinion and thats it.
This seems way overblown and way off topic

[Tracii G]

OH OK I see.

[summerbunny]

women clothing sizes are based on how close you can get to a 24 inch waist .
a size 32 waist which is good for a man is s L are XL on a woman.
clothing is based on average sizes and Vanity sizes.
women clothing has plenty of room for hips and butt and blouse room for breasts but most men's shoulders are wider then women's and waist is bigger.mens butts are square and small ,lacking the fat that smooths women's skin and gives it curves.

my girlfriends waist is 22-23 and her hips are 39 1/2 and she looks good in any clothing. 34C-22-39 with a toned flat stomach.
i destroyed her pants and a dress before trying to get into it. i am 40-34-41

she looks better then
me in dress are pants. i like to look!

[lily1974]

I think the point is being missed all together. I wasnt meaning this as a who looks better then who. I know I am not a pretty girl yet. Im sorry "guy in girls clothes". I simply wanted to know if anyone else ever looked at their SO and wish the were as beautiful as them or wished they could present as beautiful as a GG does. I know I love my gf and I know she loves me. Sometimes I just see her and wish I was as beautiful as her. So please stop the little tif.

[Tracii G]

I got the point of your post right at the beginning but not sure jealousy would be the correct term for what you are feeling.
Jealousy is such a harsh word. Envious maybe.

[ReineD]

First, about your wife’s reactions: Of course I don’t know her, but I’m a GG as well and I can give you an educated guess as to why her reactions are unpredictable. Acceptance isn’t always 100%. I think she recognizes that you need to do this and she is OK with it as long as no one finds out. But, if you stopped CDing I don’t think she’d miss it. In other words, her natural reactions might be on the "things would be simpler if he didn’t do this" side, but she is constantly reminding herself that she wants to be supportive because she loves you … so sometimes she’ll suggest things hoping to make you happy (because she loves you).

Your headphones - she likely felt the risk of being seen dressed was minimal because it was night time and you were only going to your car. Had it been during the day she probably would have gotten them herself.

As to being miffed over the cute sandals, I went through that with my own SO. While married to my ex I was accustomed to being the only recipient of all female clothing and accessories that came into the house. Early in my relationship with my SO, every time he ordered cute clothing, it felt the same as if my ex-husband would have bought nice clothing that were not for me but for a mistress instead. If this makes sense. We just don’t grow up with the idea that men enjoy wearing pretty things, and it can take years to wrap our minds around the fact that our CD partners enjoy seeing themselves dressed in pretty clothing as much as (if not more than) non-CDs enjoy seeing those pretty things on their wives or girlfriends.

I like Bridget’s advice: order cute things for your SO once in awhile, so she will feel appreciated too. Does she ever get things for you?

As to your jealousy (or envy),

I think the woman in me gets jealous of her sometimes because she can wear what she wants when she wants. So I start resenting her for being a gender born woman. If that makes sense.

Yes, it does make sense that you are envious because she can wear what society dictates you cannot wear. But, I don’t think it’s "the woman in you". Just because you enjoy crossdressing (which is a very powerful thing on its own) does not mean that you are a woman, as you state in your next sentence:

Now dont get me wrong I dont want to transition, I do like being male at times. Its just most other times I wish I was female more.

I’m not wanting to be mean, but I think that using the right language is important. Please don’t confuse a wish to look pretty or be a certain kind of feminine (which is what motivates crossdressers) with being female. In other words, it’s the crossdresser inside you talking, not a female. There’s a difference. Being female is about having a female body, a female name, and being known as a female by everyone who knows you, all the time including all family, friends, and at work and not ever being male. This is what motivates transsexuals to transition. And being female does not necessarily correlate to wearing pretty things. Look at how the majority of females around you (of all ages and body types) dress - all of them, not just the ones that catch your eye. A huge chunk of females out there aren’t into pretty sandals, pretty dresses, makeup, etc. Some are, it’s a preference for some females, but certainly not all, and so to say you are a woman because you like the things that some females like is the wrong definition of "woman".

If you can come to terms with being a crossdresser who needs to look and feel pretty occasionally, this will be closer to the truth (you did say you do not want to transition and you like being male), and it might also help your girlfriend understand you better. How does she react when you tell her you are a woman?

Sorry if this came off as preaching. I’m instead hoping to encourage you to think about what it means for GGs to be women, and see if you can align your definition of it to theirs.

Again, my opinion and thats it.

Yes, it is an opinion.

And beauty is in the eye of the beholder. By this, I mean there are a great many beautiful GGs who don’t fall into the clothing and accessory trap like you do (and some other crossdressers), and so they would not think that wearing all these things makes people look better. This is the reality. If my own SO dressed to the nines all the time I wouldn’t be jealous, instead I’d be wringing my hands trying to figure out how to impart some of my feminist values to him.

This seems way overblown and way off topic

Not really. It falls right into the topic of what it means to be a woman, and how each one of us sees beauty differently.

[Jazzy Jaz]

Lily, while my relationship with my SO is unique and mutually respectful and for lack of another word, "Great", I can relate to the main point of your post. I find myself "envying" many different women (and admiring them) and wishing that I could experience much of what they get to experience as everyday routine. Being able to fill out clothing with a natural bust and curves, having natural feminine features, a female voice, and to be looked at and treated as a natural genetic female etc etc. I also admire their strength in enduring much of the less pleasant aspects that most women go through being born into society as a GG. As humans, we all have different struggles that we face. One of mine is being an equal mix of both male and female, yet being limited to just a male body which doesn't adequately serve many of my female needs. Thus I endure the struggle of gender dysphoria, which, by the way, is a feeling that is not limited to TSs but is or can be experienced by those who exist and live between the gender spectrum. Thankfully, mine is not as strong or difficult to live with as most TSs and being part male I am not completely out of place in my male body, but never the less my GD definately exists and I will always envy/admire many of the women who get to live in a female body. Reine, though I agree with most of what you say most of the time, I definately disagree with most of your second and third paragraphs, particularly the part about having to have a female body to be female. That is simply not true, just ask most TSs. A pre op MtF TS is totally a female even before HRT and SRS, they are just doing the best they can to be in a female body to match their female identity. There are many of us TG folks who dont fit the gender binary (inbetweeners) and are both male and female at varying degrees, while Im in the middle, some are more male and some are more female and some can't tell you where they'll be when they wake up in the morning. Point being is that it IS the female part of me that envies some of a GGs experiences, the male part of me has what it needs. Some folks might benefit from revisiting the fairly recent non binary threads from a month or two ago to not forget that we exist. As for what motivates a totally male identifying CDer, that I cant answer.