What would it take for you to do so? I've never shown my femme side to anyone else directly, but have often wondered about it... I think for me, it would likely have to be another cd that I built up a rapport with, although get together a like the SCC or Divas looks so much fun! Plus the whole safety in numbers bit.
Like the Cowardly Lion, NERVE!!
I agree Asncd, SCC and Divas look like fun. I have been out en femme to a coupe theme parties but didn't feel I was truly presenting myself as a crossdresser because of the costume. I am hoping soon to attend some venue to put on my best girly clothes and just relax and be be my girly self.
I've been out and about for about 8 years now, but the first time I went out en femme was to the Renaissance Festival. I rented a wench outfit there, so I didn't really need to get any clothes, but I did get makeup and a wig.
I'm not sure if it was brave or stupid, but it worked out very well and was a great experience.
Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.
I know six guys who came out as as gay and as far as I can see everybody has no problem with them.
I don't know anyone who has come out as a Cross-Dresser.
I had a few friends in the past who knew I cross-dressed and I showed them pics of me and dresses I had but I could see they thought it was weird so I told them I lost interest in it.
I don't know your situation so I can't give any advice. I can say you look great!
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Well I recently found 1 of my best friends is very similar. We talk about clothes, shoes just a few general things, outside of that and here I havent interacted with anyone of like mind. I know I would like to find and make some new friends but I havent had opportunity to yet. The want to is in me I know this, I just need to follow through. I want more than ever to broaden my horizons. I go out in public in what most perceive to be in "well dressed" clothing, my new big cat black suede puma's got a compliment tonight! Id so wear those he said! Im thinking would you? ( they are womens ) I imagine if I find another friend or 2 that cd's Id likely take the next step and go out en femme. I own to many clothes not too.
Mykaa is me! Discovering Peace throughout from the Girl within.
David Bowie "Don't stay in a sad place Where they don't care how you are..."
Disturbed The Light "The truth is waiting there for you to find it
It's not a blight, but a remedy"
I also have never ventured out. It's something I hope to do one day, but I have a few criteria beforehand.
1) Get my look and and outfit so that I am 100% happy with it. So practice some more makeup, get better fitting shoes, ect
2) Find somewhere that I can be relatively sure will provide a safe environment even if don't pass, and
3) Find some other CD or GG friends that I can meet beforehand and spend the night with. Safety in numbers and someone to push me through the door into the Uber when the time comes
-Lucy
my biggest concerns have always been
a) running into people I know - Growing up in a small town, everyone knows everyone and I worry I will run into someone I know.
b) personal safety - Living in TX I feel like I could seriously be putting my life in danger by venturing out at the wrong time/place.
I've been hoping to maybe do a work trip or something like to that to Las Vegas or NY or someplace that might be a little more open
I would have to be able to pass as a woman. I went out a few times in my late teens. Poor reception from others back in 70s Liverpool. Since then I only drive or walk on the moors. Basically at my height and built others can't help but notice and are conditioned to not approve. So I hide in the closset and make do.
If you worry about running into people you know that don't know you dress its unlikely they will recognize you.
I had all the same fears everyone has but overcame them.
I would have to have a professional makeover and look at some pix to make sure that I would pass. I have been thinking about, but that's all.
... a bottle of decent wine. And flat shoes :-)
Never dared going out It would probably take a real GG friend that will be brutally honest about how I look and will tell me if my makeup isn't on point and will help me with that and just treat me like one of her girlfriends and will go out with me to cover for me not talking saying that I lost my voice or some thing and a beter wig that's undetectable close up plus shoes that fits betterstill can't get girl voice working
The world would have to be a very different place.Originally Posted by azncd
I know the response I got when I came out to my wife, and it wasn't good. I know the response I got when I told my mother and sister; that wasn't good, either. And I know that I don't look anything like a GG. I will be viewed as a monster, a huge man wearing clothes that would normally be worn by much younger females. I know that I have been betrayed by nearly all of the males that I have known in my life, so to start trusting men now with my secrets, my feelings, and my life just isn't going to happen. Many women as well, see us as ridiculous, and laugh at us behind our backs; as a closeted person I see this frequently whenever a male displays femininity in public where I work. No, it's not everyone; but it's still most of them.
The world is not generally a friendly place for us. For some, there is a thrill of going out in public en femme. I get no such thrill. For some others, there is the delusion that the public sees them as females; I have no such delusions. And some embrace being a man pretending to be a woman, and like being seen as such. I wouldn't enjoy that either.
I cannot be what I feel I was supposed to be. I understand that. So I avoid any unnecessary pain by not subjecting myself to it.
It's kind of like eating vegetables. If you already know you don't like something, it's kind of stupid to keep trying them just because someone else thinks it's a good idea.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Maybe there's a TG/CD group near you. Have you looked through the 'Places to Go, Places to Meet' section of this forum?
I would want to come out of my closet to another CD before daring to go any further. I think only another CD will understand.
If and when I can afford a good wig and forms Ill be out the door
If we are being brutally honest, its not really about "passing" is it? For 99% of us (and I include myself) anything more than a cursory glance would show anyone endowed with normal perceptive powers that we are "guys in dresses". So where does that take us? Some will want the thrill of just being "out" in the world, some will want the (borrowed?) approbation that comes from being with another CD - and yes, I think that if (by which I mean, when) I do, that is the most likely way it would happen. But we are all our own people and we should not feel any pressure to do anything that makes us uncomfortable, right?
For me, all it took was a simple invitation. I went out with two others from this forum. I didn't pass then and I do not pass today. So Julia, it absolutely is not about passing. It's only about being out.
Last edited by Jenniferathome; 04-02-2016 at 06:36 PM.
Jennifer, I just wish I were in San Jose, Boise, or even London, rather than the middle of nowhere in "Eastern England".
Julia,
I manage to get out and about in your part of the country. thankfully through another member contacting me about their social group.
You do raise a good point about the passing question, I wondered and asked the same question but as soon as I met other like minded people the whole thought of passing or not faded away. I surprised myself by ending up on the dance floor and spent some of the evening chatting to a pretty girl on the wig stall.
I always said that when I get out the door I would just be me , not an act and that's how it is.
Last edited by Teresa; 04-02-2016 at 07:20 PM.
azncd,you do look great! For me I would have to pass. I would have to be perceived as a stunning 62-year-old woman. Just buying, owning,wearing the clothes is enough of a thrill to keep me happy for now.
It took me a while to figure i was passing enough, to finally go out alone. I have had no other Cd or GG to go out with, just me. I had to just block out the fears, and step out of the car. I had to go underdressed out the apartment door, to the cat, with sunglasses, and a guy hat, and guy shoes on, then go park, and strip off the guy stuff, and put on heels, a little lipstick, and wig. But, careful not to be too close to others, and not to have to speak much. And to avoid the wrong places. Gut feelings help.
Well, Norwich to London Kings Cross is only about 2 1/2 hours and 50 pounds on the train. The world awaits!
I'd love to find a couple of CD/TG friends to venture out with.
Posting Permissions
