We all have our own built it risk management. I subliminally plan for worst case scenario all the time.
So I was wondering.
What was your worst case reality?
I've been pulled over dressed a few times.
Comical but no issues.
And grabbed by a grocery store employee that thought I was stealing meat.
I was wearing breast forms.
I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!
You need to get better breast forms.Originally Posted by CarlaWestin
And grabbed by a grocery store employee that thought I was stealing meat.
I was wearing breast forms.
At least they didn't think you were stealing sausages.
LOL - too funny......
You need to get better breast forms.
My worst case reality was having a cop pull up behind me as I changed in the van on the side of the road late one night. I was doing fine, explaining I was figuring out where I was until a second cop came up (whom I hadn't seen) and told the first guy that I wasn't wearing pants. (I had a skirt on.). They had me get out, put my pants on, and get in the back of the squad while they searched my van. All they found was the "girls" and a pair of heels. They eventually let me go after I embarrassingly admitted what I was doing (changing) and answered the question about what I was wearing underneath everything (thong). I was scared beyond belief because they knew my real name and easily could have easily associated it with my part-time jobs. Don't think I slept much that night.
Worst case reality? For me, the incident that stays with me is when I first started venturing out of the house. I had been thinking I was pretty expert at walking in heels, but a trip outside had proved that walking in the real world was a lot different than walking around the house. So I figured I'd practice by going out at night for a walk around the block dressed male but with a pair of wedges that nobody would notice. Good plan. Uneven pavement and gravel was treacherous and managing uphill and downhill walking was much different than carpet and hardwood floors, but I was feeling pretty smug that I was within sight of home and still on my feet when a car turned onto my street and the headlights dazzled me so I didn't see a pothole. My ankle twisted, I went down like a ton of bricks right in front of the oncoming car. The driver screeched to a halt -- it was one of my neighbors -- she was upset from feeling she nearly killed me and started ranting about me being out walking at night dressed in dark clothing.
The side of the wedge had ripped out from the fall and the shoe was dangling from its ankle strap. I found another thing I had never considered about being in heels -- getting up from a prone position in heels isn't the as easy as it is with flats. So I'm in the street floundering in her headlights, trying to take off the shoes, getting read out by my neighbor, trying to think of any possible excuse for me being out in leopard-print heels and decided better to say nothing than to say something lame, so I just apologized, for scaring her, said I slipped in a hole, did not say a word about the shoes as I finally pulled them off and proceeded back toward my house barefoot. I had sprained the ankle badly, but shock and adrenaline got me home without noticing. The ankle developed bruising that didn't go away for weeks and that foot remained swollen compared to the other for months.
Last edited by Pat; 04-10-2016 at 11:56 AM.
Years ago I went to a K-mart store all dressed up in the middle of the week thinking all my friends/neighbors are at work . I walked around and came to the gift cards section where my next door wife was looking at the cards . It stop me in the middle of the track with my hearts in my throat . Luckly when she looked my way she did not connect the dots .
I have gone to my office early in the mornings and weekends dressed. My worst fear is being caught dressed there. I live in a smaller community and have no plan.
LMAO Jennie 😂You need to get better breast forms.
I'd say bumping into someone I know who does know that I interact wit regularly...no plan for that.
My worst case would be being in a salon with my hair in rollers or having nail extensions applied when someone I know walks in. I'd be stuck having this ultra feminine stuff being done to me as an acquaintance watches. It is a risk I have taken a few times. Now I only do these things away from home, but coincidences happen...
My wife and I went into a thrift store in a city about 3 hours away and ran into 5 women from our home town. They recognized her, and asked where I was. They didn't recognize me enfemme. My wife said I was here and going to a gay stag party where we all had to dress up. We never figured out if they all bought it.
Several years ago the privacy of my backyard sanctuary was violated by nosy neighbors. I did not realize they had seen me relaxing on one of our swing sets. But, I guess if you want to see something, you can go through great lengths to "catch" someone. After I had overheard one talking to the other; "Why would a man wear a dress?" I stopped going into the backyard. I'm sure they talked about their observation with some of the neighbors because they were gossips. Nobody ever changed in any manner how they treated me to talked to me. Ultimately the entire family was kicked out for not paying their rent.
Now, the backyard is off limited when the new occupants....very nice family..kids are home from school. They will peer over the fence to chat
Carla,
I could list any of my dog walking stories, or maybe answering the door to delivery drivers. Maybe the time my seamstress friend stood me in the middle of her shop fully dressed but no make up or wig . Surprisingly I'm still here, the ground hasn't opened up and swallowed me , I know one thing my sense of humour is getting better or should I say worse !!
When I first graduated from college I moved to the city on my own. I rented a one bedroom apartment on the first floor in a two flat that had one more apartment upstairs.
My upstairs neighbor Jaime was really hot and I had a huge crush on her. I really didn't want her to know I dressed. We did become friends nothing more. Many nights I would wait until around midnight to sneak out dressed and walk around the block. Turns out Jaime had a boyfriend living overseas and he would call her around this time. She would almost always see me sneaking out the back. She knew I was never gone long. So one night she decided to go sit on the back porch after I left. When I came back I was shocked to see her sitting there.
She really was just curious about it and had questions. After that she often would go out to gay bars with me. In the end it turned out to be a great confidence builder that some people were accepting
I think worst case scenarios are usually beyond a back-up plan. They would typically involve discovery by an unsuspecting loved one or employer. There is usually no option or plan, except admittance.
It's the same with me. Except this, I also fear being attacked at night when I usually go out fully dressed. You read how many times women get mugged or raped by strangers somewhere. I don't even want to think what would happen if someone more powerful as me or armed would try to rape me and discovered I'm not a female. This might really pissed him off. Who knows what he would do. As a backup plan I have some protection with me, but nothing illegal, just pepper spray, because I wouldn't want to get in trouble with the law, if police stop me again and maybe decide to search the purse on this occasion. If I would be arrested fully dressed would be really embarrassing and would turn my world upside down and not in a good way.
Last edited by Karmen; 04-02-2016 at 09:47 PM.
Good point, Carla. Plan for the unexpected. I fear running into my daughter or son-in-law while out and about. Or possibly running into one of my wife's friends. Or my own friends or neighbors.
In fact, I was trying on dresses at a thrift store with the head clerk's help--when--a lady from the church with her kids age 7 and 10, came in the front door about 20 feet away. I managed to sneak into the nearby fitting room. I hid for a few long minutes until the clerk lady told me the coast was clear. Paid and left, fast. Wore the dress. Boy clothes in a bag.
The worst case for me was my ex wife outed me to everybody including my sister. I lost almost everything in that divorce. Even lost my job a year later before I could recover. But today I am happier and run about 50/50 male to fem and enjoying life now. I have an understanding SO and we have a lot of fun doing things together. It seems good comes from bad.
Part Time Girl
Worst case reality is waiting for the bomb to go off and everybody in the world finding out. This weekend came pretty close, I was at a big public fashion event and I wasn't sure who was going to be there as it was a very public event. I went to the front counter with my I-phone to get my ticket scanned off the phone but it wouldn't scan at the counter and I was late getting there. There was a bunch of people around the ticket counter and the guy trying to scan for the ticket said, "ok lets try it a different way. What's your name?" I said, quietly my real guy name and then he said to another lady at the counter can you find his name on the list? The lady replied oh yes he is here, its all good! So people at our local Science Center and whoever else knows my real name! LOL
Wow Paula
I still use the terms TS and such, as that was what was commonly used back then.
You either have had some terrible times, or imagine same. I have looked at your FaceBook pages, interesting reads. I guess we need some OUT Trans to work on all these laws for the new people. I understand that not all TG go the full route to Post-TS.
Maybe my partner, a Post-TS MtF, and I have just been lucky. We both became Post-TS MtF in 1977. There were NO laws protecting Trans, as it was probably so limited, it was not on most peoples radar. I had NO problems with birth state Illinois or local Virginia stuff. Of course back then a cert from surgeons was what counted. That officially made us both women for all legal stuff.
Only doctor that knew background was my OB/GYN and that stopped in 1985 when we decided to stop HRT. Other then work NO one other then family knows my background. I have never been an OUT Trans person, in my day it was expected to just blend into society.
Live in Maryland now, and it is fairly progressive. Now in my 60s, I tell some doctors in case it might make a difference in diagnosis.
I can see sometime in future some test cases will be picked up by US Supreme Court for rulings. As was done with same sex marriage. Of course some states still fight Abortion and same-sex marriage rights.
Oh, we surely do, hon. I've read some of the plans from the groups that write these laws, and seen the horrible ads that were aired on TV against us in Houston. It can get bad.
Not being on the radar and being stealth kept you safe. Most of the women I know will NEVER get GCS without it being covered by insurance.One of the aims of the groups that write these laws that are being sent around to states is to make sure that private insurance doesn't cover trans medical care of any sort. (It's crazy, but they put this stuff up on their website. Guess we aren't perceived as much of a threat, so they just make their plans known...) BTW, in my opinion, even if everyone in the US had health insurance that covered all trans medicine, there aren't enough doctors to provide everyone with GCS who needs / wants it. Marci's waiting list, for example, will hit three years soon for MtF's!
Yup. I understand. Back then, you didn't have much of a choice. Look - I could do the same thing you've done. I've had surgery, I pass, my documents are all in order. It requires that I come out to people to be out. It just isn't obvious, apparently. I'm in a position of privilege, so I use that to be out, and help others. No disrespect intended to others who don't make the same choices I make. None of us asked for this, and we all obviously should have the right to live a life of our choosing.
It is important to not underestimate our foes here. States that oppose abortion have made SIGNIFICANT strides against it by increasing the regulatory requirements on clinics that perform abortions. They forced half of the clinics in Texas to close overnight in 2014 by increasing the regulations under which they operated to the point where they could no longer stay in business. It can take a very long time for the supreme court to right such wrongs. And here's the thing - even if they declare the rules in Texas unconstitutional, those clinics are GONE. They aren't going to magically pop back into existence.
This matters to us because it is very possible that states that don't like us could use the same tactics against us. There are VERY few providers in most states who treat us. If those providers are harassed or legislated out of existence, it doesn't matter what the supreme court decides - many of us might not be able to find treatment for years because there will simply be no one in the area to do it. They don't have to do A THING to us directly. In fact they can claim "we are protecting the rights of transgender people by protecting them from substandard care." Which is exactly what they said about their rules which closed half of the abortion clinics in the state. Only those clinics did a lot more for women's health than provide abortions, and in many areas, there are NO other such clinics available, so many women, in fact, receive much worse, or no care now, even if they had no intention of EVER having an abortion, but just needed some other health service offered by the clinic.
Again, this is a more dangerous situation for us, because right now, there are very few doctors who'll treat us at all. Shut them down, and some of us are in real danger.
People like you and me, Georgette, who're pretty invisible, and who have been able to get surgery and ID changes, and who have resources, are probably going to be fine - or at least it's going to be a lot harder to get us. But there are many trans people who just aren't so fortunate, and who are in real danger if these laws continue to be passed in the states.
I'm sorry for the extreme seeming negativity, but I've seen enough because of what I do that I understand how fragile our lifeline is. Unfortunately, unlike times past, the bad guys appear to be doing their homework, and are beginning to target areas where we are the weakest. I don't think they can win in the long run, but the human toll of any successes they have in the short term could be terribly high.
Stopping this stuff is going to take trans people and our allies working together.
i don't have any in relation to CD/TG, but i think the worst case is regretting not having an instant put-down for a rude stranger.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.
thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er
The worst case is that everyone here stays hidden and we never advance ourselves as being who we really are...........
Think about that for a minute.............
Not saying to throw all caution to the wind, but don't leave any room for regret later in life
PS. Carla get your clip board out now honey and keep track of the responses...........LOL........and don't hide out in Area 51 all the time
Way too Girly !I couldn't smell the smoke, and now I'll watch the flames
Out on Parole ......Woo Hoo
For the time being i am enjoying the whole "dont question it and live in the moment" thing. I suppose that will likely change and my natural risk-aversion will have something to say to my more spontaneous self. Whether I will take any notice remains to be seen.
Not all of us grow up to be the man we once thought we might become.
My candle burns at both ends. It will not last the night. But Ah, my friends, and Oh my foes, It gives a lovely light.
My worst case reality, would be to be unlocking the shop door, while fully dressed in my skirt suit, long curly wig, stocking and heels, (I only pass at a distance because I can wear a full face mask to cover my beard), and in drives a customer, jumps out of their car and before I can escape into the shop, and starts talking to me.
My fears were fulfilled my first two times out. Stopped by a cop my first night driving dressed. The next day, guys shouting obscenities out of a car, as i walked down town in another town, and later that day, a man forced to ask me to jump start his car battery, and told his kids to look the other way. But, Carla, having a store employee think you stole meat is unbeatable!!
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