a new expreience

[Hazel King]

Hi Girls
My wife has just passed away after a fight with cancer, now that I am on my own I look at all her clothes and make up in the bedroom, and feel guilty as I so want to try them on. For the past two days I have been sorting out our savings and bank accounts which were mostly in her name transferring them to mine, which got me down. so I decided I have had enough. I went up to the bedroom to shower and change, when I realised that all her things were no longer just hers but ours, I could now allow my female side to come out, so that is what I did, got rid of most of my body hair which I hated, put on one of our tops and skirts, put on some lipstick, it was then I felt so close to her. To do it with out guilt was a relief. Soon I will be able to get my own things to add to our wardrobe, but my daughter is helping me sort things, once that is done Hazel will be home.

Hazel xx

[Clodagh]

Sincerest condolences on your loss, I can't bring myself to imagine how this must feel. I hope you find some comfort.

[Bobbi46]

Hazel I am so sorry for loss I do know what you must be going through at the moment having lost all my family now at different times. Sure its hard for you at the moment but be strong things will get better I speak from experience on this.
One thing for sure, here amongst us all you will find great comfort and support for yourself.

[Traci H]

Hazel, my heart cries for you. The emotion of that situation is overwhelming. If wearing your wife's clothes provides comfort, then may God bless you. I wish you healing and peace for the future.

Traci

[franlee]

I am so sorry for your lose. And I have been where you are. The biggest difference was we always shared and even though it was hers or mine it was still there for our use, no matter what it was. So when she passed I had no problem with the ownership, I was held back due to the reminder of all the good time we had with what ever outfit or accessory bringing back the Lose. It took time and reason to come around to simple fact it was no longer hers or ours but mine alone, heavy on the alone. So the new experience took me a while to embrace and use to hold on to the Happy and work through the Lose, but it works out and no one can ease it or help you with this, it's Intimate and Personal on a level no one but the person in the driver seat can understand. I hope and trust you follow your heart and embrace it for what it's worth and use it to a positive closure or understanding. You aren't the 1st and surely aren't the last and never the only one to be working with this situation. Good Luck in your future, no one can ever take away what you had.

[lingerieLiz]

Don't feel guilty. I've know women who saved their husband's shirt or what ever as a reminder. If I pass before my wife I hope she will wear my fem clothes.

[Hazel King]

Thanks to you all, yes I will always miss her, and wish we could have shared all this together but it was not to be, but I feel this is a start of a new journey, and things feel right for the first time, this is how I was meant to be. I do get great comfort here amongst all you kind and caring people, thanks again.

Hazel xx

[Janine cd]

Bless You. What you are about to share is a beautiful tribute to the love which you had shared with your dear spouse. Never feel guilty about having the desire to dress in her clothes. You are really honoring her memory.

[marshalynn]

Hazel, I know how you feel, my wife pasted away with cancer also, we were married for 22 years, that was 30 years ago that she pasted. I still miss her greatly. Take care of your self and I am very sorry for her loss to you. Love the clothes and think of her each time you wear them. Love Marshalynn

[Teresa]

Hazel,
I'm so sorry you lost your wife in that way, I can only hope she didn't suffer too much.

One question , did she know about your dressing ? The reason I ask is it puts a different light on your feelings about her clothes. My wife isn't happy with my CDing but she does offer me things before parting with them. I'm not sure if I would want all her things taken away, she may not mind but the rest of the family may not be so happy if they knew or saw me in her things if she was no longer with us. I buy my own clothes now anyway , there are some items I would love to keep , maybe as a keep sake, but I would have to consider the thought of others as well.

[bridget thronton]

So sorry for your loss. Glad you find some comfort.

[Hazel King]

Yes Teresa, I told her before we were engaged to be married, but we were both young and she said I would soon forget about it, but I didn't, over the years I tried to talk to her, we even went to counselling, but still she would not talk. but I have had to accept her feelings, I kept my feelings from her, my clothes have been hidden away only coming out a couple of times in the past, it did not change how much I loved her. We would have been married 50years in March 2017.
Last night I found I was no longer felt guilty, I wanted to be like her and whilst most of her clothes were too small for me I found a skirt and top that I could wear. the relief was so overwhelming. I would like to think I could be Hazel full time but as we all know that is not as easy as it sounds, ( but most of my male underwear is in the bin )

Hazel xx

[Mykaa]

Im sorry to hear of your loss Hazel, Im sure you realize Im sure she'd want you to be happy.

[alwayshave]

Hazel, I'm sorry for your loss. Marriage is a lot of compromise. You do things for the one you love which meant giving up or hiding your dressing. You were a good husband, now its time to do something for yourself.

[Alice Torn]

Hazel, Tough loss. I am sorry. Cancer is a monster. i can relate some, as a lady i adored a, single , died of cancer. I rented a room in her house, and later, found many of her clothes. i gave many to the charities, but tried on some of the dresses. All a bit too small, and eventually her sister took them away. But, it was like holding and hugging her. My first girfriend ended her life. Never easy, but we survive.

[Hazel King]

So now after years of being stuffed in a suitcase my skirts and tops are hanging up in our wardrobe and my underwear is in a drawer, and what a difference it makes to have smooth legs now I have waxed them, my holdups have stayed in place, I am beginning to feel normal.

Hazelxx