Reined- you are correct about Europe. I was stationed in Germany for 3 years back in the 80's and there was no where near the type of concern over appearing feminine or being perceived as gay. In fact, it was harder for me to tell a gay person from a straight person over there. In my ignorant youth, I figured there were just a lot more Euro gay men than here in the good ol U.S of A.
I at the time being largely scared to death of myself did everything I could to rid myself of these weird feelings. Denial so deep it cannot be properly put into words. I agree as well, urban vs. rural, you will definitely see it more. I have been to NYC enough times to see the differences, along with many other large cities, but due to my local, I use NYC as just the best example. Lots of well groomed business types. They don't look like or act like a somewhat evolved sasquash. BUT, where I am living now, I grew up. And, it has changed significantly. I asked my wife (she grew up here too) and even she said yes, definitely not what it used to be. Sorry for the term, but redneck just fits here. This is a city, not a particularly large one, but a city nonetheless, and you would think we were somewhere deep in Alabama.
I really have no problem about a guy who really is just the type who likes to be or is the lumberjack whatever type. The male version of a barbie girl. But, the male code, not using an umbrella and all of the other men do not.... yes, it lessens over times somewhat, but it has gotten to be so much more restrictive IMO. When I was in my late teens and early 20's, guys would dance. a lot of us would. In the service no less. I have on a few occasions picked up my step kids from downtown and now, very few guys are anywhere near the dance floor. Now, I am not saying ALL by any means, maybe not even half, but the number of guys who seem hellbent on being hyper masculine seems to be increasing by the day, at least around my area.
As for myself, I am somewhat cautious about how I am, among friends and at work, because they know me as they know me. When I am alone and not in a place where people really know me, I really could care less what people think of me, gay, fem, sissy whatever. I used to though. My most natural way of being I think is still not overly feminine. By today's standards probably more so than before.
Edit Reine- now I have to edit for your edit lol. I actually am not a strict believer in what a male should or should not be. Or that in reality there is this large canyon of divide between the genders. Not my personal belief anyway, but at least in much of the U.S. there seems to be an ever increasing divide now. As for the mannerisms, yes, both M and F do use their hands, females tend to be MORE expressive, and in a different manner. Generally speaking. That there ARE those that don't, or men that do, yes of course. but I am talking about the averages, the majority here. Like, most women wave differently than men do. More of an up and down with their fingers wave. Guys tend to wave side to side without moving their fingers. Small subtleties is what I am talking about. Stuff that you do not think much of, and again, I am grateful that you do not and wish more were like you.
Nikki- dressed fem or not, I would still have to clean my balls.....
Originally Posted by gendermutt
