Was crossdressing last night and slept as Amanda got me thinking and realizing that I am more transexual then a crossdresser. I am happier when Amanda is around vs when Ben is here. Ben is just depressing. I just now need to get someone to help with the transformation into Amanda and make me passable and not just a guy in a dress.
Amanda
It starts with an idea. Getting to know who you really are is the main thing.
Second star to the right and straight on till morning
This is a pretty big decision and should not be taken lightly. I too am much happier when I am dressed as PattyT rather tnan that other guy in drab. However, it stops there. As Kate so rigthly put it you have to get to know your real self. Although I am very leary about therapists, you might want to consider contacting one.
Just a few thoughts.
I agree with Kate and PattyT, search for a therapist that specializes in this. I started seeing one last week.
Seems like you'd be trans whether you are passable or not.
Jen is correct. As much as I would love people to see me as a woman ... my face screams guy so I will always be seen as a Trans woman. Goes with the territory especially when you are fully out and up close and personal with others.
Cheers
Marcelle
They're absolutely right, the first step in transition is a visit to a therapist. This isn't a do-it-yourself project. You'll also need to decide how much changing your body will give you the effect you're looking for. There are many options for treatments and surgery and you'll need to decide which are right for you. There's no one right answer for everyone. Do some Googling, there's a ton of info on the web, with the usual warnings about considering the credibility of the source. You'll also need to manage the process of coming out to friends and family, and be prepared to deal with the fallout. I know it seems like a lot to think about, but a therapist can be valuable in walking you through it.
I've been thinking a lot on this subject. More often since joining this site a few weeks ago.
I like being the man I am but really enjoy dressing up as Roxy and have been trying to figure out if I'm just a man dressing up or if I'm really something more.
Why?
What does being more transsexual mean?
What kind of help do you think someone can give you to do something like that? Better makeup? What is the transformation you want? How much money do you have?
Really, if dressing more makes you happy then do that and be amanda through the cloths.
I think what she means is that she's closer to the TS side of the TG spectrum than the CD side of things. For some of us, it's about more than just clothing. I don't get the high from dressing that so many others get.
I'm a nice Jewish girl.
I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.
From what I can see this is something you've thought about before and the feeling is growing stronger. There are some good questions here posted by others in this thread and a lot of information on the Transexual page of the forum.
I think anyone who has crossdressed for long has had that question, but it's all the other questions behind it that will tell what you will do. I've thought about it and so far I've come up with just a few questions and each one represents a significant challenge. I haven't found answers that tell me this is something that will work for me yet. Maybe someday, but so far the negatives and challenges outweigh the positives and my abilities and resources.
Are there intermediate steps you can take to try the experience on for size?
Would you be willing to live full time for an extended period of time to see if this is something that fulfills you or is a part time fantasy?
Are you ready to turn your life totally around? It's going to require constant attention and lots of work.
What will your support system be like after you make that choice? Family, Friends, Work and Community will all respond in unexpected and sometimes non-supportive ways. Are you willing to accept the bad with the good?
Are there persons in your life who, if they don't support you will make this impossible? It would be tragic to be part way along the path and have critical support yanked out from under you.
Do you have other health issues that might complicate the process?
Can you afford it? This isn't something you pay for with change found under the couch cushions, it's really expensive to do it right.
It will take a long time, are you ready for that? It isn't a decision you make on Monday and it's done on Friday, you are looking at years before everything is addressed.
Do you have the resources near you or will you have to relocate? Your avatar is "countrygirl", and rural areas aren't known for having lots of access to the kinds of specialized treatment you will require, from counseling and legal work to an endocrinologist and possibly plastic surgeons.
That's just the most obvious ones for now. If you can answer all them to your satisfaction then move on to contact others who know more about it than me and they will fill you in with a lot more. Good luck.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
There is a huge difference between needing to transition, and wanting to be more passable. You are facing the numero uno biggest decision of your life. Find out which it is, because they are truly apples, and oranges. Good luck.
Definitely seek out a therapist. Referring to yourself in third person is never a good sign.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
Well happiness will only lead you to more ..
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Well happiness will only lead you to more .. 😊
Lots of self exploration is needed before making any long term decisions.
Yep, and TONS of self acceptance! I'm no freakin Carmen Carrara and most of the time I present 'en tween', and I'm ok with that and still feel like a woman...script please...hmmm, maybe not...quite...yet 😕
"I yam what's I yam, and thats all what I yam" - Popeye
Transitioning is serious -- and it is a medical matter, that needs to be properly diagnosed, and treated, and there are serious consequences. I got cautioned by some folks at the beginning of my own journey not to get lost in the pink fog. But after a year of crossdressing, I had to admit to myself that I do have a medical condition. The panic attacks I've been suffering for the past ten years are not from job stress. They are a manifestation of gender dysphoria. And since they have affected my blood pressure, my gender is now a situation that has to be taken very seriously.
So, I am now in the process of being diagnosed. I've been to orientation with my insurer (Kaiser) and my first one on one appointment for gender assessment is coming up.
For me, it is not about passability. It is about hoping that the hormones alter my brain chemistry enough to stop the panic attacks once and for all, and get my blood pressure back under control.
If the hormones also make me look like a girl, well that's a nice bonus, and if I end up having to do a full social transition as well as a medical transition, my insurer also pays for the trach shave, facial hair removal and voice training. Which means I can spend my own coin on a nose job, a brow grind, and hairline restoration.
Talk to your health insurer first, and see what options are available for therapy, because paying for it yourself can get expensive. It sounds like you really do need to see a gender therapist. I know what this feels like, so believe me you have my sympathy.
Good luck and let us know how things go.
Carries a spray bottle of "pink fog" around with her in her purse at all times.
Thanks again for all your insight. It helps to hear both sides. I have a lot of thinking to do.I need to work on my passably
Amanda
Think of it this way even if you were to transition doesn't mean you will automatically look like a female and pass.
I'm an ugly dude and if I transitioned I would be a very homely woman and may not even pass then.
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