Others like me?

[nvlady]

Actually, I'm sure there are a number of others here just like me.
I am older and deeply closeted. I can look on Craigslist, or Amazon, or E-bay and see a dress that I would love to wear, and I can easily afford it, but it seems like a waste of money to buy it just to wear for a half-hour or so around home. I could of course put it on first thing in the morning and wear it all day and take the chance of getting caught but I'm not much of a risk taker.
If there are others here like me, it's nice to not be the only one. If there are no others here like me, well it's nice that everyone is welcome here.

[docrobbysherry]

I am like u, NV. I'm a closet dresser at heart. And, buy things as cheaply as possible because I used to only wear things once. This can be a very dangerous way to shop. Even tho I don't spend a whole lot on fem clothes, I have a semi trailer load of it!

And, now that I go out with other dressers, (never near where I live), I find all those cheap, cheesy things that r fine for wearing for pics at home, don't work out among others.

[PattyT]

Given the huge range of CDs on this forum, I hardly think you're alone. Some of us start out the way you do and progress to going out en femme. It seems that a lot remain closeted.
In any case, it seems to me that you are very welcome here indeed. After all, a closeted CD is still very much a CD!

[StacyCD]

I think EVERYONE begins in the closet because for most people society just says it's wrong for men to wear women's clothes. I, for one, did not choose to wear women's clothes. Something inside me 'chose me'. As I have come to to accept this part of me I ventured out of the closet. At first it was thrilling. Now it's less thrilling and just something I do normally.

[trisha kobichenko]

I never go out dressed, and yes although I have a closet of en femme clothes, I often have a crisis of economic conscience when I see something I would love to have, but don't need. After all, I have a more than a few femme outfits, do I need one more. So far I resist the purchase more often than not.
Trisha

[Lacey New]

nvlady,
You are in good company. I am deeply closeted as well and have been for many years. It took a long time for me to even admit to myself that I am a crossdresser and it was only because of this site that i have become comfortable with the fact that, yes, that is what i am. My dressing is very intermittent and it is mostly underdressing. I have never been outside of the house in female garb (except underdressed) and doubt if I ever will. Again, because of what other members wrote about Dress Barn, I finally did go and try on and purchase a dress (a wonderful experience I might add) at a Dress Barn far from home. However, I've only worn it a few times because my dressing time is limited. Nevertheless, I'm hooked, I'm a crossdresser and I will spend good money for more women's clothing that I will likely seldom wear.

[iGenny]

Me too. Except I'm NY and not NV.

[mechamoose]

I agree that a lot of folks start out closeted. They are afraid of judgement, embarrassment and rejection. These are normal fears.

The question about things to wear and if it is silly to spend money on something that you would wear for only short periods of time, though... If it helps you feel like who you really are, then I think that it is worth it. You may be at 1/2 hour increments now, but as you go on, you may find that you fit more time in. Are you familiar with the concept of underdressing?

Kitty / Moose

[Judy-Somthing]

I'm in the closet. I typically only get a few hours to dress once a week.
Lately I've been buying two dresses a week at thrift stores spending about $22
So far the most I spent on a dress was $80, you know every CDer needs a wedding gown .

[Tina81]

NV lady,
You're definitely not alone. I started out with heels first, then skirts/blouses and dresses. I don't have a wig or make-up kit. I have quite a wardrobe now of shoes, skirts and dresses and wonder why I spend money when I don't go out in public. I do get plenty of pleasure when I'm dressed whether it's half an hour or most of the day around the house. I would love to go out in public someday. For now, when I'm dressed it such a unique feeling and so comforting and just feels right, especially when I'm wearing heels.

[Fiona123]

I am 60 and very closeted. I understand how you feel. I assure you that you are not alone.

[Lilly 40C]

I'm 72 very much in the closet and understand how you feel. I do however wear panties most of the time.

[PattyT]

Stacy CD wrote:

"I think EVERYONE begins in the closet because for most people society just says it's wrong for men to wear women's clothes. I, for one, did not choose to wear women's clothes. Something inside me 'chose me'. As I have come to to accept this part of me I ventured out of the closet. At first it was thrilling. Now it's less thrilling and just something I do normally. "

I don't know if everyone goes this route but I most certainy did. I was realy surprised to see this.WOW! It sums up my route on the CD road. Your posting decribed my route bascially to a T. After writing this I decided my comment needed a bit of editing. On second thought, dressing is still extremely thrilling, although just a bit less than when I first started going out.
So nvlady, even if you remain at your present CD stage and go no further, you are obviosuly still very much one of us. Maybe you vould look upon yourself as an "unfinished CD" but a true CD nevertheless.

[Tina_gm]

There are probably more that are like you than not. Of course we do here a lot from those who are with participating partners, go out enfemme, are making changes to their life to accommodate their gender identity. They have more to tell than just, well I was sitting at home and was wearing a dress.... let's not forget though, that this IS the internet.....

But there are many many of us who just do what we do in the comfort of our own little safe areas, and the world other than a very select few, if any knows about us.

[Mollyanne]

I too am in the closet but I am making strides to "come out". I HATE all the hiding and lies that I have told over the years and to some extent still do. I'm well along in my years (not ancient, but older) and my wife is at the point of DADT. I try to be discreet but you know where that goes. I dream of the day when I can walk around proudly and in the open.

Molly

[Sometimes Steffi]

I used to be deeply in the closet, but not any more. I go out a lot with a group of CDs, but it's very compartmentalized. Very few people see both sides of me, so in that sense, I'm not out.

[mechamoose]

"I go out a lot with a group of CDs"

+10 for hens being hens.

/cluck

Going out with a bunch of mundanes... that is an accomplishment.

(No intention of throwing shade here. Support groups are stupid important.)

I might be being a hardass, I'm sorry. Speaking up to a sympathetic audience isn't really speaking up.

You have nothing to be sorry for. You have nothing to be apologetic over. You are you, and FARK them if they can't deal with that.

Shake what your Momma gave you!

- Maliscious Moose

[lingerieLiz]

Your not alone. While I started differently, I understand the hesitation to be out. It isn't wrong to want to remain closeted. There are many social, family, work related issues.

As for spending, think of it as a hobby. I know guys who drop money on golf, fishing, and on many other things just for fun. We all have things that we like to do.

[sometimes_miss]

I just look at it as the cost I have to pay to feel comfortable with myself; no different from living indoors instead of exposed to the weather.

[Helen_Highwater]

Although in the closet like so many here I've taken the plunge and when circumstances permit I'll step out into the muggle world. Having said that these journeys are rare as is my dressing time around the home. It used to be that I had far more time to dress indoors as I worked from home (alone) so had 6-7 hrs to myself most weekdays.

Now we're both retired that avenue is all but closed off to me apart from the odd times the SO goes out for a ladies lunch or something similar. That has had an effect upon my shopping. One: it's far more curtailed, fewer items. Two: I tend to look for sale items. Three: I buy items that I know I can wear when I do get to show myself to the world. Dressing to blend has become far more important in my choices.

I also buy items that dress to blend even though, on the odd occasions I'm home alone, I feel a GG would wear if doing those little chores around the home. Elasticated waist skirts, simple cotton tops, that sort of thing. I just can't see the point of looking glam if I'm washing dishes.

[Jenny22]

I began to expand my feminine wardrobe several months ago, and i HAVE to stop!!! I, too, am at the point where I wear a dress or skirt and top combo very infrequently to justify the cost of purchasing it (them). I bought a wig a couple of years ago. Now, I have four!!! I do alternate wearing them, but I have a "need" to get another, different style. STOP already!!