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  1. #1
    Happy in Heels xNicolex's Avatar
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    Ever Feel Silly?

    OK so even though I feel great as Nicole and I am really comfortable. I sometimes feel, well a little silly. It's weird because I love dressing and even though my GF,friends and family have met Nicole and seem fine with it, there is still a little part of me that say's omg you are crazy I think it's partly the guy in me and more because I have only started to dress less than a year ago. I guess it will feel more normal with more practice I only feel it the most when I go out in public which has only been twice. Also I kinda hate my midriff ok I really hate it. It really adds to the insecurity of being seen as I sometimes feel I look like a cow just wondered if no matter how long you have been a seasoned dresser, have you or do you still feel any bit insecure about your dressing?
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  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Apples and oranges for me, Nicole. I've been dealing with guilt from my dressing for ages. Just about got past that! Now, it sometimes occurs to me I'm a grown man playing dress up like 6 year old girls do!

    Pretty dressers r just like pretty women. We ALL see the tiny flaws no one else ever sees!

    Well, in my case? Not so tiny!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
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    Not really because it feels right to me to be in girl mode.
    Don't worry about the midriff too much lots of women have them.

  4. #4
    Genny iGenny's Avatar
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    Yes, sometimes I DO feel silly. But it doesn't bother me. I smile and shake my head and think, "oh, well... ."

  5. #5
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    I've never been out dressed, but when I try to think about it abstractly and reason it out, the whole enchilada seems weird and silly to me sometimes. for at least 20 years I did a great job at floating down that river in Africa. Off and on I would try to analyze why in the world I liked wearing what I perceived as sexy woman's clothing, in that 1. I'm a guy, 2. I seriously doubted anyone else would find it sexy, even though I did on myself. 3. I couldn't figure out any childhood event that caused me to want to wear woman's clothing. My childhood was fine. I guess I thought there had to be some causation in childhood since I started around 5 or 6.

    Now I accept it as a part of myself, and I will never change this part of me, because lord knows I wanted to many times over the years, and didn't.

    So basically for me, acceptance -> given up on the why, and while I still think at times the whole thing is silly and strange, I'm actually at peace with it, and want to go out

  6. #6
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    Oh and I'm slightly jealous that you're at where your at in your 20's. I'm one of those 40somethings that has a twinge of regret over wasted youth...college and just beyond would have been a ton more fun had I accepted myself back then and just rolled with it. If you really think you're wired as a CD, enjoy the wrinkle free and minimal responsibility years and have fun!

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    I feel embarrassed identifying with a physical body that is gross inside. Eventually I want to have one that's pretty inside and out. But embarrassment doesn't bother me. I'm not embarrassed about being embarrassed.

    I share the midriff concern. Diet is the main thing to keep weight normal, namely low carb diet, NOT low fat diet. But even with good diet I've been getting a midriff problem. Luckily, my brother mentioned an exercise that seems to have helped his. It's pedaling a few minutes a day upside-down on an imaginary bicycle, with hands clasped behind your head. I just need to remember to keep doing it.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  8. #8
    Member Closeted Kat's Avatar
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    @nicole I too have felt these feeling occasionally, but they soon pass. Its all part of getting balance I think for those of us newer to this.

    @sherry your pictures always look like you are having such fun I'd have never guessed you felt that way.
    "There's a she wolf in the closet, open up and set her free" - shakira

  9. #9
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Sometimes when I'll be thinking at work about dressing up and I'll start laughing out loud, other workers will ask "what's so funny.
    I do think it's funny that I love dresses so much, I bought three today......
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by xNicolex View Post
    ...just wondered if no matter how long you have been a seasoned dresser, have you or do you still feel any bit insecure about your dressing?
    Nicole, cross dressing is pretty weird. It just makes no sense. Because it makes no sense, I do not try to make sense of it. It just is. So why feel insecure about something that "is"?

  11. #11
    Junior Member JessieA's Avatar
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    I only sometimes feel like I'm being silly worrying over details of how I look even if just dressed at home. But another part of me just feels like it's a natural trait of my female side. But I never feel silly for actually dressing it part of being Jessica that I truly love.

  12. #12
    Senior Member MissTee's Avatar
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    From time to time I do feel silly. Like, "What am I doing?" Then I get distracted by a cute skirt . . .

  13. #13
    Member Lena's Avatar
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    Often. I mean if you think of it, many women can't wait to get out of the clothes we can't wait to get into.

  14. #14
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    Often. I mean if you think of it, many women can't wait to get out of the clothes we can't wait to get into.
    ^this is the comment that pretty much says it best. All I can add, is that there are times when I'm putting on an outfit, knowing that I'm going through all the trouble even though I'm not even leaving the house, and the thought that goes through my mind is, 'What the heck am I doing this for? This is ridiculous. It doesn't matter what I'm wearing. Real women HATE wearing this stuff, that's what I should be remembering the most, that they'd be much happier and more comfortable wearing jeans and a comfy sweatshirt. So why can't I?
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  15. #15
    Member Valery L's Avatar
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    It makes perfect sense. Even when this activity is harmless, the environment is hostile at some extent. What do we gain by doing this?, does it really worth it considering the risk and disapproval of society?, it makes sense to do such questions. Society sucks and it makes things unnecessarily harder than they should be. It is reasonable to feel silly about this activity. Personally, I do not think it is silly since anyone should be able to dress as they want, nobody should care.

  16. #16
    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    Nicole, cross dressing is pretty weird. It just makes no sense.
    It makes perfect sense, at least for those who do identify as transgender in some way which does include some crossdressers. The clothing reflects the gender.

    Veronica
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by VeronicaMoonlit View Post
    It makes perfect sense, for those who do identify as transgender in some way... The clothing reflects the gender.
    This statement says a lot. Without clothes temporarily, like at a nudist place, would CDs exist. I guess you could still shave allover, makeup, wig, jewelry. But would that be silly or not.

    Thread on what if SO cross dressed as a man. Thread on the color pink. Interesting viewpoints. After all these are just clothes and colors.

    After Post MtF TS SRS. For 30 years I had to dress in pants and simple tops for work, always thought of it as my work uniform. But I still did some makeup, nails, jewelry, and underneath nice kinds of sexy undies. I still knew I was all woman, and did those little things to remind myself and others of that. Now I dress in whatever outer clothes I like. Pretty much dresses as I have always found them to be comfortable. Is that silly.

    If clothing reflects Gender. Many say they are not TG as they know what their gender is and NO confusion. Yet some separate their "manly" pursuits/things from their femme selves. I have NO male side, but I also do some "manly" pursuits/things.

    It also begs the question, just what is gender identity, not gender roles/pursuits or dressing. If one is secure in gender identity, what is silly about CD, they are just clothes.

  18. #18
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    Some times, but that's why I present 'en tween' most of the time, being ME isn't silly at all, pretending to be a girl though, that's messed up LOL 😂 ☺

    And about the midrift thing, honestly Nicole, I didn't even notice, I'd totally give you a hall pass any day!

  19. #19
    Member elliemoss's Avatar
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    yes I do from time to time but not as much as I used to. I'm getting better at accepting this part of me and enjoying it.

  20. #20
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by xNicolex View Post
    Also I kinda hate my midriff ok I really hate it. just wondered if no matter how long you have been a seasoned dresser, have you or do you still feel any bit insecure about your dressing?
    When I was a teen and would CD I would sometimes get that feeling like it was so silly/weird/strange. As I got older I realized it was because I needed to be just like all the other girls as I was one.

    As for the midriff, that is where I carry a lot of my weight. When buying outfits, I sometimes look like I have a baby bump. Not unusual for women to be insecure on their body and dressing. Like "do I look fat in this" or "is my butt too big". There is NO easy answer for that.

  21. #21
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    Yeah sometimes I do feel silly/embarrassed with CDing and do understand. I try to rationalise CDing as follows:
    Life consists of (1) being born (2) living (3) dying. You don't get to choose (1) or (3) but you have a big degree of control of (2) so just enjoy living as you want to. It seems you are quite young and have a supporting SO. I am 44 and only in last year have I embraced my feelings and opened up to my SO, who has supported me. The difference between you and me (and others) is that you have the opportunity to dress appropriately for your age, whereas I wouldn't carry off the look of a younger female (I try to dress genuine). You also have many years to get your head around it. Accept its part of you. You are massively lucky, you look great as a female, you are young and have a supporting SO. Many don't have your opportunity. You are so fortunate. You are blessed. You have a fantastic life ahead of you and CDing is just a part of you. You are not doing anything wrong, you are not hurting anyone. Most me have their kink/thing and some of those things are potentially harmful, dangerous, illegal. CDing is either related gender identity issues, or do with a bit of a kink/fetish side of a person. I am the latter but neither is bad nor wrong. Just different. I hope this helps in some way.
    Love seeing your pics by the way always great to see your look you look great. Just a last bit of advice. From this site you will realise that you are lucky to have a supporting SO. Make her your no1 priority BEFORE CDing. Don't risk being a lonely CDer. Treat her wonderfully and listen to her !
    Jen x

  22. #22
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I've realized that I can feel silly and pretty at the same time. Works for me.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  23. #23
    Member leannejacobs's Avatar
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    I often feel silly and kick myself for going out, it usually happens a day or two after I've been somewhere public, pushing boundaries as I tend to be drawn to, it is silly, a guy in women's clothes but it's so much fun, as others have mentioned, you're young and have such good opportunities, it's far more accepted in your generation, lap it up and make the most of it.
    Just saw your little black dress post, you look great, I see you have concerns with your midriff, there are lots of waist clinchers out there that would deal with that, we are men at the end of the day and don't have female bodies, you have to use what's available.
    Last edited by leannejacobs; 04-27-2016 at 06:00 AM.

  24. #24
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    Hi Nicole , Not really, It's just Who I am and it's just what I do......
    Last edited by BLUE ORCHID; 04-27-2016 at 06:43 PM.
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  25. #25
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    I don't feel silly when I'm out and about en femme. This may be the result of years of crossdressing. I do feel a bit silly in drab. I belong en femme not in drab.

    SamanthaSometimes stated:

    "I completely understand your feelings but my feelings were not so much silliness but rather intense curiosity as to why I enjoy dressing as female. However, over a long period of time, after better understanding myself and accepting that some femininity is a part of my personality, I don't feel 'strange' any more"

    I can easily identify with that. Perhaps I may have felt a bit odd at the very start of my CD career but that passed quickly. It's all part of the process of becoming a full fledged CD.
    Last edited by PattyT; 04-27-2016 at 07:01 AM.

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