It looks as if the two of you are headed for a serious relationship then. So, when do you think would be a good time to tell her. Is it a question of a few weeks, or months? And if at the end of The Danish Girl you get the impression that she is not into it, if for example she says "I'm glad I'm not in a relationship with someone like that", what will you do.Originally Posted by MarinaSweden
Reine
I am considering something like "There is a side to me that you never will have to see if you don't want to, but I want you to know everything about me, I can not live in a relationship where we hide secrets from each other. I like womens clothes. I think they are beatutiful, comfortable and fun. So when I am home alone, I don't mind wearing a skirt, or a blouse. If you are so openminded that you still want to be with me, I will be very happy. If you even can consider letting me put om something occationally, even better. But I will let you decide how far i can go." In a way, I don't like being so defensive. It is a bit too much the person I was when I was together with my wife. I have to learn to stand up for my self, but this might not be the fight to take?
If the question arise, are you gay, easy to answer. I am not in any way. Do you want to change sex? "No I don't, not more than a woman wearing pants, or cuts her hair short." I understand that the last thing isn't something women would like to hear, but I beleive that men are trapped in a role where we have very little to choose between when it comes to expressing our selves. If it is ok to wear a kilt in Scotland, why is it not allowed to occationally put on a skirt here? In the year 2016?
I have told her I don't like wearomg a suit and tie. Even though comes the right time, like a more formal party, I can enjoy it, because it makes me feel very masculine, and if I notice that the woman likes it. I have told her I don't like having to choose between wearing grey, dark blue or black. That I like coulours.
And when.... well, I don't think i can wait much longer. I hate being dishonest. Especially towards someone I REALLY care about. But then again, have we come that far in our relationship (a bit more than two weeks) that we need to disclose everything about our selves? I don't know.
About The Danish Girl, as I understand, he/she acutally changed sex? I will never do that.
Any opinions about this?
Everybody's got a secret sonny, something that they just can't face. Some folks spend their whole life trying to keept it, they carry it with then every step that they take. 'Till someday they just cut it loose, cut it loose or let it drag 'em down. - Well I'd say this is exactly how it is with me.
Well, given that you do not describe yourself like the Danish Girl, I would strongly urge you to NOT bring your girlfriend to see it at the moment. The Danish Girl seeks sexual reassignment surgery and if this is not what you intend for yourself, there is no use confusing the issue with your girlfriend (who understands very little about the very wide range of people in our community), while you explain to her about the crossdressing.
After the two of you have been together for awhile and she is comfortable with your level of crossdressing, after she has no more questions about whether you want to be a woman or whether you dress to attract men (these are fairly standard questions/doubts from GGs), then you might see the movie together with the explanation that you and the Danish Girl are entirely different people with different goals.
Reine
Marina, It sounds like a fairly good plan, to me. It is so hard on your health to keep this on your chest, and pressure is awful. It sounds best to "have the talk" real soon, then, and let the chips fall where they may". Even if she rejects your dressing, or reasons for it, it will be good to open the pressure valve, and feel relief, regardless of how she answers.. But, she may need time to fathom it all, and think about it all. Some women are appalled at first, but with some education, and time, tolerate it, and a small few accept. But, the hard truth, is most do not like it one bit. She may be a rare bird, and be ok with it. Be good to yourself, even if she does not like it. It takes a strong person, man or woman, to walk alone for a while.I have been a virgin, walked alone all my 62 years, but have dated some, mainly decades ago!
Whoa! The Danish Girl? I have only seen the previews.
From someone who loves film this looks like an amazing movie but like Reine said, I would advise strongly against seeing that movie with her. There is another movie that came out in 2014 (i know that doesn't really help since it is no longer in theaters) that would be a much better choice. It's called The New Girlfriend.
It was nice although I don't speak french so the subtitles made it a little less enjoyable.
Below is a youtube link to the trailer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NBEDx5cy2HI
I am not a woman nor am I a man... I am an enby. Hi, I am Wren.
Because a kilt is considered men's clothing, as are the oddball gowns and bonnets that the catholic leaders wear, as well as the dress like white drapes that arab males wear, however feminine the rest of the world would consider them. OTOH, wearing a skirt sold as women's clothing, indicates to the rest of the world that you wish to identify in some way as feminine. And feminine is unacceptable to western society as a male. We're (boys and girls) brought up to believe that being feminine in any way is the worst thing a boy can ever be. Don't get your panties in a knot, sissy, pu$$y, ladies, girly, girls, weak sister, go change your tampon/pad, etc., are just some of the routine feminine things considered as the biggest insults one can call a male. Dumb, lazy, liar, useless SOB, cheat, ba$tard, coward, tiny d!ck, weak, clumsy, slow, pick any other insult. None pack more of an impact than something feminine.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
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