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Thread: Why? Are we trans and do we really like it?

  1. #1
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Why? Are we trans and do we really like it?

    I'm sitting here in girl mode and feeling woman all over. I have on matching undie's and bra and they are a nice blue lace. MY denim shorts and a nice blue blouse that looks kinda like a boy shirt... not. But hey woman, I was just thinking, You have no fear to go out like this and why should you, but is it a bit crazy to be trans? I sure am one and wow it's hard on some days. I do feel like a woman sometimes and bring home the bacon and fry it up in a pan because I am a woman. Do any of you relate to this?
    Part Time Girl

  2. #2
    Aspiring Member Fiona123's Avatar
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    I believe that crossdressers fall under the broad definition of transgender. I love it when I am en femme.

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    I can not figure out what camp I am in. All I know is that I enjoy
    wearing a dress or a skirt and top.
    Yes I do have female jeans, and I wear them everyday. I do not
    think of them as CDing, as they look like any other jeans you find
    anywhere.
    I am under dressing more that ever, as I have been wearing a bra
    everyday for about a year now.
    So I guess I am just a closet dresser, and I have a big closet.
    Rader

  4. #4
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    why is it crazy? it might just make all the sense in the world ;-)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  5. #5
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    being trans - well it works for me, especially as wife's away and with just 4 daughters at home were having great girl time.
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

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    Member Glendy's Avatar
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    If felling like your feelling is transgender when your dressed then I guess I'm transgender also cause I feel the same way you do when I'm all dressed up and feminine looking it feels natural to me being dressed.

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    It may be a little bit crazy when you consider the challenges you have to face. But I wouldn't say crazy in the negative sense of the word. I mean that it takes a lot of courage to make a lifestyle change like that and face hurdles that others would see as insurmountable. I've thought about being trans but don't think I have the courage to do it. Also, there are parts of my life where I like being "masculine" and identifying as a man. What aspects of being trans are good and which aspects are hard?

  8. #8
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Dana, you feel that you identify more as a woman than a man? Since you're in your '60s now, how long have you been feeling this way?

    Just to clarify, you have no fear of going out dressed but you think it's craz?. I'm just a little confused about your premise and I'm also a little confused about my own gender identity. But I think if you only feel like a woman when dressed, you're probably not transexual.

    I like women's clothing (a lot) and I like makeup, wigs and everything about looking like a woman. But I don't like to do many things that my female friends like doing. OTOH I'm not crazy about a lot of guy stuff either!
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    Do any of you relate to this?
    No, can't say as I do. As I've said, there isn't a distinct DeeAnn personality or a distinct Don personality. It is one personality that includes both. In other words, both are present all the time and there is no switch that gets flipped when I dress.

    As far as liking it, once I began to understand what was going on, I've become very comfortable with it. A fair amount of the novelty has worn off and things have settled into a good place.

    DeeAnn
    Last edited by flatlander_48; 05-07-2016 at 09:04 PM.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    For me I'm primerly a crossdresser however I do consider myself trans, it seems I do have very different personalities when in male mode vs fem mode but lately it seems to be bleeding over and that's when it hit me my female part is part of me so I felt that qualified me in the trans umbrella.
    I know it's just a label and I don't care for them but if it works for people to help identify me then ok, I'm good
    Leigh

  11. #11
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    Ressie, I'm gender fluid, but yes I do feel like a woman often. I also like my male side but lately I'm feeling more feminine. It hit me today that I am pretty deep into the transgender area and wow feeling like a woman feels great but I know I'm a male also, but I seem to be slipping into a more feminine routine.
    Part Time Girl

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    Silver Member Mollyanne's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Glendy View Post
    If felling like your feelling is transgender when your dressed then I guess I'm transgender also cause I feel the same way you do when I'm all dressed up and feminine looking it feels natural to me being dressed.
    I feel the same way you do. I LOVE getting dressed and becoming the woman who lives inside me. I feel more comfortable, confident and better about myself when I am looking in the mirror and seeing a woman looking back at me, and that woman is me!!!!!!

    Molly
    "To thine own self be true"

  13. #13
    Member Anneliese's Avatar
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    I am completely gender fluid. If I was younger, who knows, I might transition. I would have been really pretty decades ago, and aren't too shabby now for a 62-year-old. Most of my life I've been single. A five-year marriage and a few mostly short relationships, which I only enjoyed early on. There is no relationship I miss. I enjoy my parts, but if given a choice of 100% pure hetero CDer or transitioning, and those were the only choices, I would, without question, choose the latter.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Anneliese View Post
    ...I am completely gender fluid. If I was younger, who knows, I might transition. ... I enjoy my parts, but if given a choice of 100% pure hetero CDer or transitioning, and those were the only choices, I would, without question, choose the latter.
    I just can't marry these two statements. Transition is a move from one state to another on a permanent basis, not being fluid between the two. Why chose transition if you are happy with your parts? It just don't make sense
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

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    Dana,
    I don't have to be dressed to feel like it and why do we have to worry about something we can do nothing about, we're wired different and that's it.

    I've just been shopping again today, openly discussing clothes and how they fit , the SAs aren't giving me a hard time with being trans or a CDer so why should I worry. If being trans makes you unhappy or gives you a guilt complex then try and come to terms with it, we should be allowed to enjoy it, if you can go about like that other people pick up on it and will be OK with you.

  16. #16
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dana44 View Post
    'Why? Are we trans and do we really like it?"
    We are what we are, we have to accept that, whether it's what we like or not. For many people, it is encouraged to 'love who you are', as if that's going to make everything wonderful. It doesn't. It doesn't solve any problems. But to just run around singing 'I'm glad I'm a girl!' all day would be a little ridiculous.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  17. #17
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    Ican relate to feeling feminine when I have on some feminine attire, there is one or a few aspects I like about being a male. At times I wish I had the courage in my younger years to accept this part of me and transition to a woman. For now I will just settle on being a crossdresser.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Nigella View Post
    I just can't marry these two statements. Transition is a move from one state to another on a permanent basis, not being fluid between the two. Why chose transition if you are happy with your parts? It just don't make sense
    The point would be that if there were only 2 choices as stated (meaning that the concept of gender fluidity did NOT exist), the choice would be to transition. Further, the quote was "I enjoy my parts". There was no statement about being unwilling to give that up. Nothing was said that would preclude the possibility of being happier in some other mode. Your interpretation seems to be overly rigid.

    DeeAnn

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    Member Anneliese's Avatar
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    Thank you FL48.

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    Crazy? Not crazy? Neither. A person is who he/she is, and there's no need to defend it. However, it is safe to say its a hard concept to explain. I will say that gender identification is not a male/female binary, as some muggles try to assert. Instead of an on/off binary lightswitch, gender is more like a dimmer switch with a whole spectrum of possibilities from 100% male to 100% female.

    In my own case, I feel like I'm female about 50% of the time, male about 20% and neutral 30% of the time. I feel that if I had any more of a feminine tendency, I would be considering living full time or even transitioning. But im not. And I have no interest in trying to find out why I am the way I am, just enjoying it.

  21. #21
    Woman first, Trans second
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzanne View Post
    I will say that gender identification is not a male/female binary, as some muggles try to assert. Instead of an on/off binary lightswitch, gender is more like a dimmer switch with a whole spectrum of possibilities from 100% male to 100% female.
    I firmly believe that gender expression is an infinitely divisible spectrum of possibilities. Very few people, cis or trans, are planted firmly at either extreme. I'm certainly not.

    I still struggle to understand the gender identities that theoretically exist in the middle, and I struggle even more with comprehending the idea of a gender identity that MOVES.

    As a trans woman, does that make me squib?

    Figg.jpg
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

  22. #22
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I wouldn't presume to know what a woman feels like dressed up, I only know what I feel like--pretty good really.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    I still struggle to understand the gender identities that theoretically exist in the middle
    Careful with "theoretically". That can leave the impression that it isn't real and only exists as a theory. We are real flesh and bone people with a myriad of identities and that takes it 'way beyond the theoretical.

    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    and I struggle even more with comprehending the idea of a gender identity that MOVES.
    I think there are MANY factors that have some bearing on this. And, think about this. Why is it that we get up in the morning and sometimes it's great, sometimes it's middle of the road and at still other times it really sucks? Some are obvious like a hangover or looking forward to a much anticipated event, etc. However, others are not obvious at all and would take a lot of effort to begin to see the cause and effect linkage.

    With fluidity, perhaps what leads up to a change is not obvious at all. This would align with the difficulty that people have when they try to explain what happens for them. It would seem that the only real way to find out would be a fair amount of psychoanalysis. Failing that, the only thing that is left is acceptance of the concept.

    DeeAnn

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    Quote Originally Posted by flatlander_48 View Post
    Careful with "theoretically". That can leave the impression that it isn't real and only exists as a theory. We are real flesh and bone people with a myriad of identities and that takes it 'way beyond the theoretical.
    It can, if you don't use the scientific definition of theory. I'm sure you exist, you are a fact, or at least I presume you are despite the internet sitting between us. There are theories about precisely what and why you are, all of them with evidence to support that they could be correct (that's what allows them to be theories). I have hypotheses of my own, which I try to test to see if they might be reasonable theories.

    Theories are not trivial. The "why" of gravity is still just a theory. We operate a global GPS network on a theory. MY identity is entirely based on theory - it happens to fall under theories that are more widely accepted at this point, but they are no more "proven".
    Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Zooey View Post
    Theories are not trivial.
    Neither are we who occupy the middle portion of the spectrum.

    DeeAnn

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