I was trying to explain that I take it seriously, and was in no way trying to trivialize anybody. Apologies if that wasn't clear.
I was trying to explain that I take it seriously, and was in no way trying to trivialize anybody. Apologies if that wasn't clear.
Coming out is like discovering that you've been drowning your whole life after actually breathing air for the first time.
M:
It's an issue that has significance for me and I may be somewhat more sensitive than necessary. However, there seems to be a faction that believes that one is either a Crossdresser or one who should be transitioning. There is no middle ground. Historically it has been the same for Bisexuals as quite a few have claimed that you have to be either gay or straight; again with no allowance of a middle ground.
Of the many identities that I claim, those 2 are the most troubling in terms of external perception. As applied to both identities, some folks have gone out of their way to say things like it's just a phase, you're in denial, you have another identity to hide behind, etc.
BULL SHIT.
That's just not the reality of it in either case, but people keep trying to make it so. Anyway, that's the reason behind my response.
Please continue...
DeeAnn
Any man who thinks he knows what a woman feels like is fooling himself. You have never been a woman and you likely have never been treated as one, at least in the long term. Strapping on a pair of boobs and a wig doesn't give you any insight into how a woman feels. Physically, you have the hair against your neck and you can feel the silicone boobs on your chest, but these things don't give you the life experiences to feel like a woman.Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
I wouldn't presume to know what a woman feels like dressed up, I only know what I feel like--pretty good really.
As for the thread "Are we trans and do we really like it?", You are what you are and there's nothing you can do about it so like it or not, you better learn to deal with it.
Last edited by Krisi; 05-09-2016 at 03:46 PM.
Why? Cause I was born this way and choose to embrace it.
Am I trans? I self identify as transgender (genderfluid) so yes I am.
Do I enjoy it? As a matter of fact I do. Sure there are times when it can be tough and it complicates my life a bit, but I'd rather be me than be someone else.
Regardless of my genotype and phenotype, I have both a female and male mind, soul & spirit. And yet, I'm so very much more content, happy, and free expressing my female nature. It's simply who I am...I didn't ask for it...I wasn't looking for it...it's just me! Nikki
Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
For the first time, outdoors during the day:
http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg
I am transgender, a crossdresser and gender fluid. I am happy with those labels. 🌺
I am trans and the desire to transition grows stronger each day. I except what I am, but it would be much easier if I was born a woman or was a cis male.
These are the arguments Janice Raymond and other TERFs make against trans women.
It's funny, how certain so many of us are that alone amongst all the animals, man has no instincts, that being a man or a woman is a matter of socialization, that with the proper programming, we'd be whatever they tell us to be! For that must be your argument - because if the defining characteristics of being a woman are purely physical and social, that her feelings of who she is are not hers - they are imposed on her externally. That her feelings and inner life have no meaning, that she has no soul.
That must be what you are arguing, because otherwise your statements are utter nonsense.
I really feel badly for those who think feelings have no reality, that our inner sense of who we are is meaningless, that happiness is an impossibility, so you better just like whatever you are told you are. That is the perspective of fear, by the way.
And I hope that I, and the others of us who transition here, and in the world at large show you is that this statement is a lie. It is something we tell ourselves because "they" told it to us. I hope my life shows that people can change in profound ways, and transcend the boundaries society sets for us. To think otherwise is to think like a slave.As for the thread "Are we trans and do we really like it?", You are what you are and there's nothing you can do about it so like it or not, you better learn to deal with it.
I love being a transgender woman. The other transgender people I've met inspire me and humble me - they are the most remarkable people I've ever met, by far. I wish I'd transitioned younger, there are many life experiences I'll never have at my age. And my years will not be numerous, I don't expect to die of natural causes at an old age. But whatever happens, I don't care and I have no true regrets because I've lived a richer and more full life in the three years since I began transition than in the prior 50 years combined. Whatever time I get, it was worth it.
Last edited by PaulaQ; 05-14-2016 at 04:05 PM.
Nope. I have no idea what it is to feel like a woman. Certainly dressing as one is not the same as feeling as one. I would be hard pressed to describe what it means to feel like a man. I just AM a man.I'm sitting here in girl mode and feeling woman all over.... Do any of you relate to this?
Holy cow, can't we just let people enjoy their fantasies?
Like someone already said and the word itself points, trasexual is a person that is migrating to andother sex gender, in transition.
In my own position I'm a crossdresser, so happy now because my wife know it.
I know I'm a man, but I always wear women panties and try as more as I can to tuck.
We live in an apartment with my wife, but in the same complex my oldest son lives with his wife and son, so in any moment they could show up knocking the door so I can't dress all the time but as soon as I can I get dress because I need it.
I sleep with baby dolls, sometimes even i fall sleep with high stockings.
I feel very comfortable wearing as a woman. I'd like to go out dressed. Never done it but planning to do it with my wife and to shopping girly stuff.
Yesterday we had a conversation that if I would be alone and without son living near, I would dress all the time...I would may be even get into hormones to see my skin softer, see my breast grow up, may be my hips get bigger and I would go out dress all the time.
May be In that moment I would call myself transsexual moving to the trasgender group to finally be a woman, but I that process I don't see myself with surgery to change sex...
But we're definitely in a group for a different sexual preferences.
That's my opinion
HRT 042018; Full time 032019
Orchiectomy 062020; gender& name legal changed 102020
Electrolysis face begins 082019, in genitals for GCS 062021
Breast augmentation surgery 012022
GCS 072022; BBL 022023; GCS revision 04203;END TRANSITION
The few times I've been dressed and out in public, I experienced several genuine feelings that I think are similar to what cis-women feel. Here's but one of them. I felt vulnerable when walking alone outside from my car (parked at the far end of the parking lot) to the club. I was very cautious to my whereabouts and stayed very situationally aware. When I'm in male mode, I have no fear of attracting unwanted attention. But when I'm wearing a long hairstyle, dress, hose and heels, I do feel a bit insecure and a little bit defenseless.
Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
For the first time, outdoors during the day:
http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg
I am in no way trying to criticize your self identification. If you say you are a man, that's good enough for me. Out of curiosity, though, have you ever considered some other term that might fit you better? Not that you need to, just asking if you had even considered the matter? I think there are more genders in heaven and earth than just man and woman. Again, absolutely no disrespect intended, I take you at your word.
I guess I ask because I'm curious if this is part of who you are - I believe you've said as much. If so, do you feel that makes you different than other men? (Again, I don't mean this in a bad way - different can be better, or just "different", not just worse.) I also ask because this seems important to you, your CDing, because you do it exceptionally well, but give yourself so little credit for how well you present.
Human?
Strange how people argue there isn't a "binary" and still use "I am a man" or "I am a woman" as a reference. I am me and you are you and we are all the walrus.
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
Language, for the lose... FWIW, I view myself as a woman, but if it matters, and sometimes it does, I'm a trans woman. I'm comfortable if people want to view that as something a bit distinct form "woman", up to the point they start to try to push me into male gender segregated spaces. I'm comfortable being trans. I do not view myself as less than cis women. My history is simply different, and I have a different perspective.
More is made of these labels than really needs to be. They are useful (sometimes) to communicate something general about yourself to others. For example, I generally tell people I'm transgender at some point. I do this, pretty early, because if they react badly, I know to not expend any emotional energy on them, and move on. Plenty of people don't care. A few, I think, are envious. This is insane of course, but in their minds we are the cool kids right now. Go figure!
A very simple illustration of your point is this:
People often speak of the nurturing ability of women (Note: men nurture also) and the unconditional love of a mother for her children. Do people come by this ability and unconditional mindset from EXTERNAL means? Did they get it from the newspaper or last week's soap opera episode? I think PQ is spot on because these traits, and others, are not gleaned from physical situations nor are they social constructs. They come from within.
As I've said before, we're all struggling with SOMETHING and that spans Crossdressers, Transgender people and Transsexuals. But the important thing is our spirit to not let these issues totally weigh us down. So it is amazing when you see people able to rise above the negative forces in their lives and do what needs to be done. And we must remember that s/heros are NOT born; that was never true. They are forged by circumstances and tempered by resolve.
No, I don't think that will work in this case because EVERYONE is Human; irrespective of orientation, identity, etc., etc.
It could just be that what they envy is that someone found the wherewithal to face a MAJOR personal issue and decided to take significant steps to fix it. It's one thing to realize, and even understand, a problem. It is a whole different thing to re-engineer one's life in order to deal with that problem.
DeeAnn
Last edited by flatlander_48; 05-14-2016 at 07:59 PM.
Honeys the thing is we're all different. Just because you say something you feel is true does not make it so for somebody, everybody. All it is is an "interesting opinion".
Although I had been a closet crossdresser up until last week for almost 40 years, I hadn't really thought about being transgender or how that even applied to me. That all changed last week when I finally came out to my wife over a quarter of a century. As she was processing it all she asked 'So are you transgender then?' I had to admit that I really didn't know, but I'm coming around slowly to the fact that I probably am. I'm hoping to set up counselling soon to help me see and accept who I really am.
Am gender-fluid and trying to live as a woman both in home and outside.
It is difficult to say what I am..and even more difficult to say why, but I do know that when I dress as Jenny, I feel happy, I feel comfortable, and I feel at peace with who I am as a person.
A long time ago, I attended a meeting for transgender individuals put on by the local LBGT Org. I dressed as I would any other time as if I were going out shopping or for lunch. I sat and chatted with the group although I did feel a bit on edge and on the outside. I am not sure if that was because I felt new to the group, and certainly the occasion, or if I did indeed feel I fell short of how I saw most of them. They seemed so much more committed to being their true identity, not just caring on a charade of sorts. To have ribs removed, or undergo surgeries and consoling for suicide attempts. To hear of the struggles that I had never experienced to achieve their true identities.
To this day, I wonder if I am merely a poser to being transgender, or is it true that many of us have indeed had an easier time on our journey to acceptance?
Continuing to struggle with who/what I am, but intending to enjoy more of it regardless of how I'm presenting/feeling. No, I don't know what it feels like to be a woman. I don't have the history of a female body and socialization from day one. Even if I were to transition I still wouldn't know, although I would hope to get a little closer. There are plenty of "feminine" attitudes and behaviors I am very comfortable with and preform quite well.
However, I'm not convinced that I know what it's like to be a man either. My body chemistry and socialization pushed me in that direction, but to be honest, it didn't take all that well. So I have to go with what I do know, for now. What I say now is I am transgender and crossdressing is what I do.
Sarah
Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
Sort of the point I was making,no? Why do we have to play in certain sand boxes?
The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
Chief Joseph
Nez Perce
“Love isn't a state of perfect caring. It is an active noun like struggle. To love someone is to strive to accept that person exactly the way he or she is, right here and now.” - Fred Rogers,
If transgender is an umbrella term commonly used to define humans whose gender identity does not perfectly align with their sexual organs and/or chromosomes at birth, then most of the people that post here other than the SO's would likely fall under this umbrella. I do. It was a big deal to me when I realized it and accepted it, but now, I don't really care. Like the sailor with big forearms, I am what I am. :shrug:
I guess I understand why labels are such a big deal here, but do they really need to be?
Well, it can be confusing to use a term in a very general sense and a very specific sense almost simultaneously.
Yes, it is what keeps us from looking at a toilet and thinking of it as a toaster.
DeeAnn
I would suggest this thread be closed with this post. Lorileah has nailed it!Human?
Strange how people argue there isn't a "binary" and still use "I am a man" or "I am a woman" as a reference. I am me and you are you and we are all the walrus.
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