Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 25 of 66

Thread: help! I am a lesbian stuck in crossdressing mans body

  1. #1
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    246

    Question help! I am a lesbian stuck in crossdressing mans body

    what can a Tgurl do?
    I can not take it any more.
    i dread carrying the burdon.

    A LIPSTICK LESBIAN not the butch queen are butch lesbian type.
    Last edited by summerbunny; 05-07-2016 at 10:48 PM.

  2. #2
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    The OC, California
    Posts
    5,916
    No. If you are a dude, then you are a hetero male.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Washington, DC Area - Maryland
    Posts
    778
    A Lipstick Lesbian in a TG/CD person can work out. It can take time and some putting yourself out there for some turn downs.


    Also know some MtF TG/TS that are transitioning in a more or less Lesbian affair. After HRT the male parts become somewhat irrelevant to some.

    Being a BI/Pan Lipstick Lesbian myself, I can understand the frustration. I don't want to restrict myself to just woman, but would like to try the same with TG/CD types myself.
    Last edited by Georgette_USA; 05-08-2016 at 05:08 PM. Reason: Personal Information

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member MissDanielle's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2015
    Location
    Chicago!!!
    Posts
    839
    I would suggest talking to a therapist so that you can get started on HRT.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Sara Jessica View Post
    No. If you are a dude, then you are a hetero male.
    not necessarily. some of us around the boards are definitely TS but needed time to figure that out. The OP is attracted to women and she says she is trans so that makes her a lesbian.
    I'm a nice Jewish girl.

    I'm not a girl, Not yet a woman.

  5. #5
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,264
    "Lesbian" can be an odd term here. The term is used to describe women (with female bodies) attracted to other women (with female bodies). So the term refers to one’s body more than one’s gender identity.

    But in this community, some members who feel an attraction to being feminine without making plans to live as a woman full time, take it this qualifies them to call themselves women. They can certainly refer to themselves as women, but the people they deal with every day won’t see them as women and so they’ll be confused (.. if the person calling themselves a woman or lesbian presents as a male).

    Since you say in your thread title that you're a crossdresser, I'm assuming this means you plan on retaining your male body. If this is the case, sorry but you're not lesbian. If you don't want to call yourself hetero (which implies a man attracted to a woman), then why don't you simply say that you are "female-attracted", which you indeed are. Unlike the term "lesbian", saying you are "female-attracted" only identifies who you are attracted to - not who you are - and so saying you are "female-attracted" can apply whether you are a man, a woman, in between, both, or none of those.

    Or, if you enjoy fantasizing about being a lesbian, then go ahead, but this is different than actually being one. If you ever do decide that you are not a CDer but are indeed transsexual and you end up getting the surgeries, legal name change, and living as a woman 24/7, then it would be more accurate to describe yourself as a lesbian.
    Last edited by ReineD; 05-08-2016 at 02:10 PM.
    Reine

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    856
    Fascinating discussion. It has always been a fantasy of mine to be intimate with a GG while dressed as a woman. I am not attracted to other men even other CDs in any kind of sexual way. So, I guess I've always thought of myself as - at least - a fantasy male lesbian. Now After reading this, I guess I'm just a hetero CD. So now I know what pigeon hole I am in.

  7. #7
    I am a meat popsicle ariannavt's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Vermont, USA
    Posts
    34
    Quote Originally Posted by MissDanielle View Post
    I would suggest talking to a therapist so that you can get started on HRT.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]



    not necessarily. some of us around the boards are definitely TS but needed time to figure that out. The OP is attracted to women and she says she is trans so that makes her a lesbian.

    I agree! It can take a LOT of time to figure it out. In high school I, jokingly, many times referred to myself as a lesbian. I then proceeded to live my life as male up until the age of 37. At which point everything in my life sort of clicked, and I realized I was TS.
    - Arianna

  8. #8
    Country Gal.... Megan G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Southern Ontario
    Posts
    509
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    .
    Since you say in your thread title that you're a crossdresser, I'm assuming this means you plan on retaining your male body. If this is the case, sorry but you're not lesbian. .
    .
    I have to echo Reine's post as she hit the nail on the head with the quoted post. At the end of the day it all boils down to how you self identify.

    You say your a lesbian stuck in a cross dressing mans body, what does that mean to you? Does that mean that you identify as a woman internally? Do you feel that your gender identity is female?

    Or do you simply see yourself as a male identified CD'er that is attracted to women? In this case sorry but your not a lesbian.

    And as for the stuck comment, it is never to late to live an authentic life but you have to be willing to put in the work and stop dreaming, it's freekin hard work and that does not include living inside your head dreaming....

  9. #9
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    13,086
    Summerbunny,
    I've read Reine's answer, it should ring totally true but somehow it doesn't.
    I've had gender counseling to get to the bottom of my feelings, I explained to her how my CDing started and the dreams I had at the time. She consulted with other members of her team before coming back with the answer that my male and female side were in conflict and the female side was trying to take control. I lived with the feelings for so many years before coming to terms with this, so now the nearest description I can come to is a male lesbian, my counselor saw no problem with that after we had gone through all this. I know I'm just on the male side of TS, the important point is it doesn't tear me apart anymore now I know and understand this, I do accept that any thoughts on transition have come too late in life, the important thing is I can look back on my male life and say I've done a good enough job and can be satisfied with it. Transition now would take most of that away and possibly leave me with nothing, so I choose to put to put the satisfaction of that before my gender needs.

    In either mode I would still be attracted to women, a male relationship doesn't come into it, I wouldn't worry about what particular style you think you might be just try and come to terms with how you feel .
    Last edited by Teresa; 05-08-2016 at 09:21 AM.

  10. #10
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2015
    Location
    SW England
    Posts
    2,921
    Summerbunny, then join the TS part of the forum and start dialogue with the rest of us like you :-)
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  11. #11
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    6,337
    So you are a genetic male, calling yourself a cross dresser, and yet you are making a distinction that you are certain stereotype of a group of women? The nature of stereotypes is that they are based on external visuals. YOU don't get to decide how people perceive you. If you were really a lesbian you would not distinguish the visual, you'd just be. This only proves you are not a lesbian.

  12. #12
    Senior Member Melissa Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Sacramento, CA
    Posts
    1,001
    As others have said and using a more literal definition of lesbian, you are not a lesbian. If you identify as male and are attracted only to women or to men and women then you are a bi- or heterosexual male regardless of how you are dressed. Gender expression is disconnected from sexual orientation. You may fantasize about being a woman and being with another woman in a sexual manner, but fantasy is not reality. It is the combination of your biological sex and gender identity that is connected to your sexual orientation.

  13. #13
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,266
    I agree with Melissa on this one.
    You sound a bit confused.

  14. #14
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,264
    Quote Originally Posted by Lacey New View Post
    So, I guess I've always thought of myself as - at least - a fantasy male lesbian. Now After reading this, I guess I'm just a hetero CD. So now I know what pigeon hole I am in.
    My opinion? "Fantasy lesbian" is perfectly OK! It's good to have fantasies. But saying just "lesbian" is confusing when someone identifies as a male CDer. IMO.
    Reine

  15. #15
    Senior Member Melissa Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Location
    Sacramento, CA
    Posts
    1,001
    Fantasy lesbian - I love it!

  16. #16
    Style Icon Sara Jessica's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    The OC, California
    Posts
    5,916
    Quote Originally Posted by MissDanielle View Post
    not necessarily. some of us around the boards are definitely TS but needed time to figure that out. The OP is attracted to women and she says she is trans so that makes her a lesbian.
    Hey, I'm as TS as anyone around here but given my commitment to NOT transitioning, I'm not going to run around claiming to be a lesbian. That is just plain silly. The term is thrown about these pages with way too much ease.

    It is a stretch enough for many of us to refer to ourselves and others as "she" but I wouldn't have that any other way. It makes sense based on how we identify and present to the outside world (whether IRL, in pictures and/or in writing). But to use "lesbian" based on how we identify? I'm sorry but if you live as a male and have dude parts which you are using those with a female, you are kind of/sort of/perhaps totally/undoubtedly a hetero male.

    Transitioned or transitioning? That is an entirely different conversation altogether. Many on the CD'er side of the fence describe themselves as lesbians because it just seems so cool. Nonsense.
    Like a corpse deep in the earth I'm so alone, restless thoughts torment my soul, as fears they lay confirmed, but my life has always been this way - Virginia Astley, "Some Small Hope" (1986)
    Sunlight falls, my wings open wide. There's a beauty here I cannot deny - David Sylvian, "Orpheus" (1987)

  17. #17
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    22,266
    I find the" I'm a Lesbian " comment from a CDer a bit silly too.

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Georgette_USA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2016
    Location
    Washington, DC Area - Maryland
    Posts
    778
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    "Lesbian" can be an odd term here. The term is used to describe women (with female bodies) attracted to other women (with female bodies). So the term refers to one’s body more than one’s gender identity.
    Since you say in your thread title that you're a crossdresser, I'm assuming this means you plan on retaining your male body. If this is the case, sorry but you're not lesbian.
    If you ever do decide that you are not a CDer but are indeed transsexual and you end up getting the surgeries, legal name change, and living as a woman 24/7, then it would be more accurate to describe yourself as a lesbian.
    I am glad it takes a Female at Birth "GG" to say such things.

    This is one of the many things I have had to re-think since coming back to the Trans community. Have had to change my old ways of thinking on many things.

    I have heard many say they are Lesbian, but may not have had the full surgeries. I have thought it would be elitist of me to pass judgement on others. So many say that some TG/TS act or talk like if others don't do it all, we are passing judgement.

    My early life, there was only one way to become and have the legal privilege of being a woman. I did all the above, because that was the only way I knew of.
    I guess as you say one could be a fantasy Lesbian. I think that is what I thought of myself prior to surgeries. There was NO male in my boy parts. I could only fantasize having FtF sex.

    Also have problems with some men subverting female anatomy naming to their own uses. I am a very literal person at times and will use the proper naming for body parts. But will bite my tongue when others do this, if it makes them feel whatever.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Just got back to Illinois (from Burbank)
    Posts
    791
    My Body is NOT Me. It's my vehicle that was given to me. I'm the Driver. The Driver is Female or Feminine, driving a Masculine vehicle. The Driver is attracted to other Females and is therefore a Lesbian.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  20. #20
    Krysten Krystenw's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    South Plains of Texas
    Posts
    515
    I am complete and totally me.
    The thought of being with a man sickens me almost as much as starting to dress as one again.
    My wife of 42 years and I have never been happier.
    Sorry, I guess I don't go for labels.

  21. #21
    GG ReineD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Samsara
    Posts
    21,264
    Quote Originally Posted by LelaK View Post
    The Driver is Female or Feminine, driving a Masculine vehicle. The Driver is attracted to other Females and is therefore a Lesbian.
    With all due respect, Lela, if the Driver is attracted to females, then why don't you simply say that you are "female-attracted". This would be accurate, wouldn't it? And you would not be defining yourself as a male in the process?

    If you have a male body and you live your life as a male (if the people around you have no idea, based on your presentation, that you are not a male), then people will indeed scratch their heads when you tell them you are lesbian. You're taking a word that has a specific definition that is understood by the vast majority of people and you're applying your very own definition to it. Doing this is the same as deciding that from now on, you'll be calling the color green, "orange". You can insist that grass is orange all you like, but people will not believe you.

    But, you could certainly describe yourself clearly by saying, "I have a female gender identity even though I have not transitioned, and I am female-attracted", without compromising yourself.
    Reine

  22. #22
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2011
    Location
    Lowestoft UK. Beverley was here.
    Posts
    30,850
    Too mush overthinking here, labels are for cans.

    They do tie labels on the big toe of corpses in some places.

    That being said there is at least one place that uses bar codes on a label around the wrist.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Just got back to Illinois (from Burbank)
    Posts
    791
    Quote Originally Posted by ReineD View Post
    With all due respect, Lela, if the Driver is attracted to females, then why don't you simply say that you are "female-attracted". This would be accurate, wouldn't it? And you would not be defining yourself as a male in the process?

    If you have a male body and you live your life as a male (if the people around you have no idea, based on your presentation, that you are not a male), then people will indeed scratch their heads when you tell them you are lesbian. You're taking a word that has a specific definition that is understood by the vast majority of people and you're applying your very own definition to it. Doing this is the same as deciding that from now on, you'll be calling the color green, "orange". You can insist that grass is orange all you like, but people will not believe you.

    But, you could certainly describe yourself clearly by saying, "I have a female gender identity even though I have not transitioned, and I am female-attracted", without compromising yourself.
    I already did say I'm female-attracted. And I have a female personality identity, a Lesbian identity. I only share that with people who seem likely to be accepting. So there aren't likely to be many people scratching their heads. And it's okay if anyone does anyway. No one but me is likely to be able to perceive my identity, so, if my body has green skin, my identity could still be orange and it wouldn't be a falsehood to say that. Actually, my inner self has light or fair skin (that's more than skin-deep).
    Last edited by LelaK; 05-09-2016 at 08:26 AM.
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  24. #24
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    The Poconos PA
    Posts
    18,972
    Help, I've fallen and I can't get up.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  25. #25
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2014
    Posts
    8,061
    You are a male crossdresser who is sexually attracted to females. Most of us here are exactly that. You are not and cannot be a "lesbian" unless you make up a new definition for the term. And, although there probably aren't any actual lesbians reading this forum, your post is insulting to "real" lesbians.

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State