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Thread: A crazy Thursday night at Santana Row... not

  1. #1
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    A crazy Thursday night at Santana Row... not

    Tonight was supposed to meet a fellow member of this forum but she got hijacked into work so that left me with a choice: stay home or get dressed and go out. Duh, I went out. I chose a gold halter top with some shimmer threading and the deep red patterned skirt you see here.

    I walked over to my local wine bar and the staff recognize me now (hard not to) and I was welcomed with "Nice to see you again," which is nice. I sat down around 7:15 and I got the last 2 person table, it was packed. Every restaurant to the left and right was packed. And this is a school night! I was the only person in the bar wearing a skirt until a young lady walked in to meet a friend and she was wearing a beautiful floral midi skirt. It was a great people watching time and location. I'd say 80% of the women were in jeans and the rest evenly split between skirts and dresses. I didn't really feel out of place, just in the minority.

    Funny thing, on the walk over to the bar, two men were walking toward me and one just stared and stared. He kept talking to his friend but even when I smiled and made eye contact he kept staring. I wonder if he even knows he was staring. I'm betting he does that to women as well. Men are so obvious. Women are so much more subtle. They must have better peripheral vision than us.

    So, the take away is this: 1) if I can do this anyone can. If you want to go out, go out. No one cares. Really. and 2) if you plan on sitting on a slatted aluminum chair, wear a longer skirt!
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  2. #2
    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    Hi Jennifer,

    Sounds like a really good time, relaxing and people watching. I know what you mean with the guy stares. Seems to be the one where they're checking you out, whether conciously or not, and the other where there is surprise, disgust and won't hold eye contact.

    Just today I experienced several passing stares, but none seemed bad, which made me feel good. One group was a gang and that really freaked me out, but as they passed they were talking and never changed their conversation or tone or cadence and no dirty looks, just the quick, check out the woman looks, oh, she's ugly.

    Wish I could get the confidence to go out in a skirt. My wife says I have nice legs, but it's another level for me.

  3. #3
    Rachel Rachelakld's Avatar
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    Sounds like fun.
    I was tempted to do the evening bar thing on Thursday, drove past it and got groceries instead. Bars not normally my style especially as I would have be alone.
    Maybe I should just do it anyway after reading your story
    See all my photos, read many stories of my outings and my early days at
    http://rachelsauckland.blogspot.co.nz

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member Mykaa's Avatar
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    Looking sharp as usual, I expected nothing less, : ).
    Mykaa is me! Discovering Peace throughout from the Girl within.
    David Bowie "Don't stay in a sad place Where they don't care how you are..."
    Disturbed The Light "The truth is waiting there for you to find it
    It's not a blight, but a remedy"

  5. #5
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    You look fabulous Jennifer and yep like you said if you want to go out go out.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Karen RHT's Avatar
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    Thanks for your post Jennifer, and I whole heartedly agree with your "just do it" sentiments. Can't say the same for your thoughts about the male stare. Not suggesting I'm right and you're wrong, but I know that some males stare like that as part of their "alpha male" personality. Kudos for your perfect "I smiled and made eye contact" response.


    Karen

  7. #7
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Glad you had a good time.

    Yes, those short skirts can get you in trouble when you sit, especially on the high stools and chairs some bars have.

  8. #8
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    Let me echo what Jennifer said: if a chance presents itself, take it! I'm following that advice right now as my wife just made a quick trip to visit relatives in a neighboring state. Needless to say, Heidi will be out the door in couple of hours to do who knows what. I have no idea, so I'm going to wing it!
    I'm so glad you made an omelet out of your broken eggs, Jen!
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    You seem to be more easier with life these days Jennifer.

    Handling it quite well by the looks of things.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    Sounds like fun times Jennifer and yes I agree that when you make eye contact with others while out I'm always thinking I'm sure they just made me but then I just smile and move on. Thanks for sharing
    Oh and yes love your outfit
    Last edited by Rachael Leigh; 05-13-2016 at 08:36 AM.

  11. #11
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    Yes I've noticed less skirts and dresses out there anymore, but maybe we can change that. On a similar note I was told and shown, in my younger days when I had the legs to go shorter, that a handkerchief on the seat for comfort and cleanliness of your clothes when out, I know old school thinking but I carry a cloth with me in my bag just in case and now I have white jeans and capri's I'm dying to wear and wooden benches and plastic chairs are a stain waiting to happen. I love the top and cover up look.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  12. #12
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    You do look so naturally at ease with life. I like skirt and top in the pictures. You have a beautiful smile that would draw attention to any one, and to me it says you are at peace with your inner self. Good job.

  13. #13
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by jenniferathome
    So, the take away is this: 1) if I can do this anyone can. If you want to go out, go out. No one cares. Really
    ... so long as you are in a safe place in an area that has generally high acceptance.
    Yes, some really do care. And where I live, if you go out and get stared and stared at like that, I would keep my hand on the mace. I was having a conversation with a woman I work with and she is as live and let live as they come. She thinks it is great that there is now people who can open up and be themselves. BUT- she lives in a very rural area because she loves to raise animals. Horses, chickens cows. Kinda hard to do that in mid town Manhattan. We were talking about a co worker who we know is gay, and not just because. This person is not as clever as they think they are and they have been caught on several occasions being with men. Still, this person will not admit to being gay. My female co-worker and I were also discussing about how it is probably a smart thing to do around here, to be very careful of what you are doing and where you are doing it at. My point is to not suggest that anyone can just go dress anytime anywhere and no one will give a s--t. Some do, and some of those have committed murder because they care so much about it.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

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    So happy for you, my friend! Glad you had a great night!

  15. #15
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    I'm pleased that you had such a good time on Santanna Row. I know the place and I envy you being in a climate where in the evening you can walk around without perspiring. Here in Houston we are into the "perspiring" season. Last night was particularly humid.

    Good luck and keep enjoying yourself.

  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beverley Sims View Post
    You seem to be more easier with life these days Jennifer....
    Beverley, I am what i am. That admission makes life easy.

    Quote Originally Posted by LeighR View Post
    ... I'm always thinking I'm sure they just made me but then I just smile and move on. ...
    I agree Leigh! If I am really that unique in their life, what a story they will have to share at the next party!

    Quote Originally Posted by Allisa View Post
    ... a handkerchief on the seat for comfort and cleanliness of your clothes when out, I know old school thinking but I carry a cloth with me in my bag just in case ...
    That's a practical idea Allisa but I have never seen a woman do that. I'm going to start watching out.

    Quote Originally Posted by gendermutt View Post
    ... ... probably a smart thing to do around here, to be very careful of what you are doing and where you are doing it at. My point is to not suggest that anyone can just go dress anytime anywhere and no one will give a s--t. Some do, and some of those have committed murder because they care so much about it.
    Mutt, I did't write nor suggest "anytime anywhere," you wrote that. Of course one should be smart but that is true regardless of how one is dressed. Your "murder" statement, however, is just fear mongering at it's worst. Nothing in life is risk free. You are citing the proverbial 1: 1 billion chance. Do you drive a car? Do you ride in airplanes? Of course you do and statistically you have orders of magnitude more risk than being hurt when cross dressed. No one need do more in girl mode than they would do in guy mode.

    Quote Originally Posted by CONSUELO View Post
    ..I envy you being in a climate where in the evening you can walk around without perspiring. Here in Houston we are into the "perspiring" season. ..
    Consuelo, I feel you. I know Houston well. I don't know how you keep your makeup on!

  17. #17
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    It was your comment, no one really cares. This is just something I am very serious about. I am all for CDers to be able to go out and express themselves. To be honest and open with their partners. Women tend to be quite flexible when given full knowledge, but there still are limits. You are not one who crosses into true female territory with your gender variance, so that is not really meant for you, just in general. Anyway, I won't hijack your thread, you did good and had a good time.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  18. #18
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    Hi Jennifer,

    I'm in the North East Bay and would be happy to join you sometime just to get out in public more.

    PM me if you are interested.

    Randi

  19. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jenniferathome View Post
    2) if you plan on sitting on a slatted aluminum chair, wear a longer skirt!
    Wise words indeed, very wise.

  20. #20
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    One thing though ... you were in the Bay area. Would there be more people staring if you were going out in Idaho? In my neck of the woods (borderline Southern states) and in a small town, people stare. They don't abuse us or anything and of course the staff at any establishment we go to are professional. But, they still stare when they figure out what's what. I hate the staring. I do my best to ignore it, but I still don't like it.

    BTW you look great!
    Reine

  21. #21
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    Thanks for the ind review Reine

    I live in the big city of Boise Ok, not so big a city but it's a well educated population with a large college in the center of town so it has plenty of younger people who tend to be more tolerant. I have been out several times but that was before I had any sense of real comfort (and probably style too). I DO expect that there will be some stares but nothing more than I get in San Jose and nothing angry or derogatory. Confusion, perhaps would rule the day. I would expect a few more sideways glances when sitting in close quarters but generally people are polite and will keep to themselves.

    I'll get out soon and report back!

  22. #22
    Nikki Windsor nikkiwindsor's Avatar
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    Jennifer, If I'm ever in your area, I'd certainly like to connect and take some hesitant steps in going out in public beyond Halloween, LGBT friendly bars, etc. Nikki
    Wearing my fuschia bodycon dress:
    http://imgur.com/6WkdAts
    For the first time, outdoors during the day:
    http://i.imgur.com/RmjIxbY.jpg

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