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Thread: Question for those who go out dressed

  1. #1
    Junior Member Stephanie Lynne's Avatar
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    Question for those who go out dressed

    Just curious if the bathroom and transgender debate that seems to be discussed everywhere has changed anything for you when you're out in public dressed? Do you go out less, quit going to women's room/fitting room, more fearful, etc?
    Hugs,
    Stephanie

  2. #2
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    No change for me. In fact my wife and were just talking about this today. We both agree it would be weird for me to use the men's room when dressed. No issue to date.

  3. #3
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    No it doesn't bother me cause I usually use the men's room for the washrooms. Change rooms are womens usually but I'm also escorted in by the sales clerk so no nothing has changed for me.

  4. #4
    This Time Around Lauri K's Avatar
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    No changes here, my wife says I should pay more attention to my surroundings due to all the stuff going on. She goes out with me a lot and says I just do my own thing and I never pay attention to others around me..........oh well maybe I should turn up my senses a bit till all this blows over.

    As for bathrooms, this girl will not be caught dressed in a men's room.

    No issue or problems to report so far and YES unfortunate for me I live in a hate state due to my job, otherwise I would leave TX and head west to the coast.
    Way too Girly ! I couldn't smell the smoke, and now I'll watch the flames

    Out on Parole ......Woo Hoo

  5. #5
    Madam Ambassador Heidi Stevens's Avatar
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    No changes here either. In fact, yesterday I went dressed to spend the day in Hot Springs, Arkansas. I went out of my way to have lunch at Chik-fil-a just to prove that it was possible. And I used the ladies restroom there as well. No pitchforks or tubs of hot oil. They treated me like any other female visitor, including calling me Ms. Heidi as they brought my lunch to me. So far all I heard is talk by the aginers, but business as usual for every thing else in the real world.
    Be yourself. Everyone else is taken!

  6. #6
    Lisa Allisa's Avatar
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    no change here for me, caution as usual, I won't let hate mongers run my life.
    "you are a strange species and there are many out there;shall I tell you what I find beautiful about you ,you are at your best when things are at their worst" ...[ Starman]
    It may of course be a bit disturbing to sense that one is really not so firmly anchored to the gender one was born into.

  7. #7
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
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    I don't go out while dressed, so it doesn't apply to me. But, I am very happy to read that things have not changed for most of my sister members here. I find that I live vicariously through all of the ladies here who do go out. This ugly witch-hunt of hysteria that has descended, seeing issues where there were NONE to begin with, makes me sick.
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  8. #8
    formerly: aBoyNamedSue IamWren's Avatar
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    Like Piora, I don't go out while dressed. And I love to read thread starts where a member describes going out. There have been times where I thought I might have a chance to let Sayyidah rome about the muggles but the bathroom bills and hate speech I see all over social media has me really scared. I don't think I'll be going out for any length of time in the near future.
    I am not a woman nor am I a man... I am an enby. Hi, I am Wren.

  9. #9
    Member Charlessa's Avatar
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    I pick and choose where I go dressed in any female attire. I rarely go to public restrooms so I don't worry. if I did, I'd have to go in men's restroom. I usually have a beard going

  10. #10
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    When I'm buying clothing there's only one fitting room (ok, two, but at LTS they're the same 😉 )

    As for washrooms, I've used both depending on circumstances but I prefer the single use non-gender ones (or the bushes)!

    En tween, I use the guys room, what's the worst that could happen, I get into a bloody fight with an ass clown in need of an attitude adjustment, sooo bring it 😠

  11. #11
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    No change for me. I still go out and do me. I did ponder with my wife today, while out and dressed, if people were looking at me more lately and she said she hadn't noticed any difference. As far as restrooms, I have used, and will always use, the one that matches my presentation.

  12. #12
    Silver Member paulaprimo's Avatar
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    i never use to give it a second thought but now i think about it more than i should and
    i avoid going unless i have to.
    paula

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member ChristinaK's Avatar
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    No ladies have ever really noticed and have never had grief. I'll keep going to the ladies room until some do gooder, ultra "christian", which I am, but tolerant as I should be, starts screaming bloody murder, which probably won't happen.

    First time some copper wants to see my wee wee, I'll tell him to get a warrant ;-)

  14. #14
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Stephanie,

    Fortunately up here in the northern climes of Canada we have not gone down the "bathroom ban" road so it is business as usual. I use the women's restroom when I am out but then again as TS it is the only one I would consider using. Women don't seem fussed by my presence and I have stood in line chatting away with other patrons and I am sure they knew I was trans. No screams, no drama . . . just answering nature's call.

    Cheers

    Marcelle

  15. #15
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    Stephanie,
    We don't have the debate going on in the UK, so it's not so much of a problem .
    The easiest solution if there is an uncertainty is use the disabled facility , I still use the male cubicles, but not the open ones. Changing facilities aren't a problem, I usually shop in charity shops so they only have a single area curtained off . I had a funny incident I was in drab when a guy was trying on shirts and I asked if I could nip in to try a cardigan on while he waited outside to decide which shirt he wanted , he did give the cardigan a double take .
    Last edited by Teresa; 05-15-2016 at 05:37 AM.

  16. #16
    Girl from the Eagles Nest reb.femme's Avatar
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    Just to concur with Teresa, this isn't a problem in the UK at present. However, as with Nadine, I would only use the toilet that is in accordance with the gender I'm presenting as. If I was looking for trouble, the best way to find it would be to use the men's while dressed femme.

    Becky
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    http://www.rebsweb.co.uk

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member
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    I make a very passable woman in both looks and traits so I use the restroom for the sex that I am dressed as.

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I try to use unisex ir disabled restrooms when available.

    Now that the goalposts are changing, I will probably be more cautious.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  19. #19
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    Personally, I avoid places where I would have to make a choice. Occasionally that means I have to limit my fluid intake, but usually it means I duck into a coffee shop with a unisex bathroom. The state senate here in Mass recently passed a gender equality bill and there's hope that the house will pass one soon -- after that the bills would have to get reconciled and sent to the governor who has been non-committal on what he'll do in terms of signing it. (To be fair, I'd be non-committal as well, since at this point we don't know what's going to come across his desk.) If it all passes, though, then it's no longer a problem and I'll use the restroom that is appropriate for my presentation.

  20. #20
    Texas gal sherri's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie Lynne View Post
    Just curious if the bathroom and transgender debate that seems to be discussed everywhere has changed anything for you when you're out in public dressed? Do you go out less, quit going to women's room/fitting room, more fearful, etc?
    Hugs,
    Stephanie
    It has made me much more cautious, even a little paranoid. Admittedly, the vast majority of my outings over the years have been to TG-friendly places, but there have been periods when I've pushed the envelope by frequenting more mainstream venues and I've usually used ladies' rooms -- without incident, I should add. I really don't think most straight people ever gave the matter much thought one way or another and would have been inclined to look the other way if confronted with it in a public place. At worst, a woman finding a crossdresser in the bathroom might have been disconcerted, might have even complained, but odds were it wouldn't have gone any further than that. Now that it has become a high profile issue, however, I'm seeing and hearing very heated ridicule and vitriol, including frequent threats of violence. And of course Obama's recent presidential order involving schools and kids, however well-meaning, has ratcheted emotions exponentially. Now I feel like any vanilla bathroom visit is a potential land mine and honestly, I'm not real interested in being the detonator. I might still use gender-appropriate dressing rooms if I think the store is supportive, but for right now I plan to give the bathroom situation a wide berth. Things are just too emotionally charged and awareness too heightened right now. Sometimes discretion is the better part of valor.

  21. #21
    Krysten Krystenw's Avatar
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    Nope, No change. My wife and I wear the same size dresses. The only difference is I'm 69" and she is 64" so the skirt length is a bit different.
    I guess that comes from being married 40+ years.
    Believe it or not she doesn't like to go shopping for clothes, so when she does, I'm the one that has to try the clothes on to make sure they fit.
    She says if they look good on me that they will really look good on her.
    Have never had any issues.
    If I am at the movies and there are 19 of us standing in line, I will usually just go home.

  22. #22
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Doesn't make one iota of difference to me.

    I was using the women's restrooms to fix my hair (wig), make up, and to relieve myself as necessary from Day One when I first began going out in public en femme about 9 years ago. It just seemed to make perfect sense given the way I was presenting myself, and being able to "blend in" (if not downright "pass") in most instances, I have never been challenged nor made to feel uncomfortable in women's' restrooms. In fact, I've even had some rather pleasant and affirming interactions with fellow users while there, and these were typically initiated by them as I always strive to maintain a low profile for obvious reasons.

    Based on my experience to date, I see no reason not to continue doing what I've done in the past. I have always behaved modestly and appropriately when in the women's restrooms, and as far as I am concerned, what I have beneath my skirt or dress is nobody's business but my own as long as I keep it to myself.

  23. #23
    Gold Member Read only Rachael Leigh's Avatar
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    I try to avoid using the restroom when I'm out so nothing has changed for me and in some ways while some might be looking more careful at who's in the ladies room but I doubt most would want to make a scene unless they are wanting to make a point and if you just went in to go and there is no law against then what can someone due. Also as we have seen many retailers are not about to run off paying customers just because we are different

  24. #24
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    Depends on where I am, but no change really.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    If I have to tinkle when I'm out shopping, I will use the ladies every time because I blend pretty well. And, I always sit down and use the facilities as a woman would. If I think I've been 'made' by someone who could cause trouble, I just go to another store.

    In general, however, I try to avoid public restrooms when I'm presenting as Fem merely because I hate the prospect of either having to squat like an animal with my feet on the rim of the toilet bowl because the seat is too filthy to use, or, even if the toilet seat appears to be clean that little voice in the back of my mind is still telling me that it's probably crawling with bacteria, or, even if I ignore the little voice, then I always worry about blocking up the flush mechanism with the toilet paper I use to cover the seat.

    Just for the record, if I have to defecate when I'm presenting a Masc, that same little voice is screaming, and the same fear about blocking the toilet occur.
    Last edited by StarrOfDelite; 05-15-2016 at 06:01 PM.

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