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Thread: Question for those who go out dressed

  1. #26
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
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    The problem, as I see it, is that due to the wave of hysteria that has been created, because of these STUPID laws being passed, and all the media hype that has been generated, NOW there are people who are going to view with suspicion everyone that they encounter coming and going from a women's bathroom. There will be those that overreact, and jump the gun, making unfounded assumptions and accusations. I recently read about one incident at a hospital, where a woman was intercepted by another visitor as she was opening the door to the women's washroom. A man tried to block her from entering because he though she was a man. Apparently, she was rather masculine in appearance, and he made a mistake, as was later explained. This is the sort of thing that is the result of the backlash from this hysteria.

    I agree with Starr that many public washrooms are disgusting, and if the women's is as bad as that, then try to imagine what the men's washroom is like! Best to avoid any of them altogether!
    Last edited by Piora; 05-16-2016 at 04:28 PM.
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  2. #27
    Silver Member Jilmac's Avatar
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    I will continue to use the women's restroom or dressing room whenever I'm en femme. As long as there are private stalls with doors I'm not the least bit concerned.
    Luv and Jill


    Straight, into Fantasy Land

  3. #28
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    No change, for me. I live in a US state (Oregon) where there are no anti-trans bathroom laws and where the law of the land states quite clearly that we can use the bathroom suited to our gender identity or presentation.

    If I am out in girl mode, I use the ladies' room.

    If I am buying girl clothes and am en-femme, I use the women's dressing rooms.

    If I am out presenting male and happen to buy feminine clothes, I will either carry them to a men's dressing room to try on, or I will try them on at home an return them if needed. I do not usually use a women's bathroom or changing room if I am presenting as a male.

  4. #29
    Member Terri Andrews's Avatar
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    No change but I try to avoid long lines and young children

  5. #30
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    I travel a lot. Normally I bring my clothes and dress. Recently I had a business trip to Raleigh, NC. I decided it was not worth it. I was not too worried about the actual need to go to the restroom. I suppose I could hold it, avoid drinking,etc. But, what concerned me is that, what if the attitude of the general public was hostile to me? But, all of this restroom talk will not affect me in the other places where I dress. In San Francisco I would not even consider this.

  6. #31
    Member JayeLefaye's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie Lynne View Post
    Just curious if the bathroom and transgender debate that seems to be discussed everywhere has changed anything for you when you're out in public dressed? Do you go out less, quit going to women's room/fitting room, more fearful, etc?
    Hugs,
    Stephanie
    Yes, Stephanie, who lives in Texas, it has made one hella-difference for me, who lives in NC!

    Please forgive me if I'm reading between the lines here, because you & I live in what I'm coming to think of as the current battleground states.

    I've been going out, during the day, for 6 years on a regular basis...Using the "Family" bathrooms...It doesn't really take much planning...The dressing rooms while shopping, were always easy-peasy. The SA's were always cordial...

    I don't want to ramble, or answer in any kind of glib manner, so I will try to respond honestly from my NC experience for the last two months...

    Yes, I have curtailed my excursions out...

    I have also shown up at rallies in front of the Governor's mansion wearing old Levi's and a work-shirt to protest as a straight male....

    Because 80% of the folks who are protesting, are straight, compassionate folks who have a clue.

    ....I added that last bit to let you know that "we" are not alone in this....

    And, Stephanie? You joined in 2013...And only have 30 "posts"....And yet you started this thread....I suspect that you started it for the same reason that I'm finally having the time to respond...

    Thank you...

    "hugs" and blessings back at'cha!!!

    Jaye
    Last edited by JayeLefaye; 05-19-2016 at 05:28 PM.
    Satchel was right, something is gaining on me...And God bless the creator of e-cigs!

  7. #32
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Hasn't changed my frequency of going out and hasn't changed my habits.
    When in Rome as they say.
    I've always felt I'd rather face the wrath of an irate female than the ruffled Testosterone of some homophobic male.
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  8. #33
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    No change. It seems odd to use a male bathroom when en femme. Here there are toilets everywhere to be used by the aged, the handicapped, and others like this. I have no trouble using these so have no need to worry about problems using the female bathrooms. I can get by without them

  9. #34
    Aspiring Member GenieGirl's Avatar
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    Nothing has changed for me for the most part. Just feel a bit more akward when other women are in the bathroom with me but not a big deal. Haven't been kicked out or arrested for using the bathroom yet. I live as female outside of work so about 70% of the time that's what I am. I also live in North Carolina for what it's worth. PS my family seem to be for HB2 from past conversations :/.
    You're a Daisy if you do! -Doc Holliday

  10. #35
    Vino, Vidi, Vici! Renee Elise's Avatar
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    The few times I've been out it hasn't been an issue - if you look like a girl, it should not be a problem to use a women's bathroom. In fact I agree that it would be weird going into the men's totally en femme! If I were out and about at a shopping mall or whatever and I needed to powder my nose would definitely use the ladies.

  11. #36
    Platinum Member Eryn's Avatar
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    No change at all. I'm not going to let the hatred of a few ignorant bigots affect my enjoyment of life.

  12. #37
    Junior Member Jenny123's Avatar
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    Like others have said, I still go out and use the women's restroom when I do. I am definitely more careful about my surrounding since the paranoia around these bills has come up. Whenever this comes up in my daily life (where most people don't know about Jenny), I always ask what bathroom they think transgender people have been using throughout the years.

  13. #38
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    Like Ceera I live in Oregon. There has been a lot of talk by various citizens (some showing wisdom, others ignorance), and most people I have talked to, or heard talk, realize the new NC and Texas laws violate federal civil rights laws and will be changed, or overturned, soon. (Someone might get elected, or re-elected, or rejected, in those states because they do, or don't support this, but regardless of what they think they will be overturned.

    Oregon is a liberal blue state (though I am not). Our 'recently promoted' governor, Kate Brown, came out as Bi when she was a state senator in the 1990's. She was noted in todays newspaper as the first governor to admit to being bi or lesbian, so even if our legislators were replaced, and were to write such a bill she would veto it.

    I have not changed what I do, where I dress or use the loo - if I am in girl mode I use the ladies rooms. I did have "thoughts" when this became an issue in the news, but see no reason to change what I do.

  14. #39
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    NO changes here and I am going out tonight. I go into the stall do my business and get out as fast as I can to not cause any issues.
    Part Time Girl

  15. #40
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    Actually, it has ramped up a bit. I've been to the grocery store dressed recently and used the women's restroom. Yesterday I attended the Annual Harvey Milk Diversity Breakfast in Palm Springs with 733 other people. I made a visit to the women's restroom along with at least a dozen women. I would feel really strange to going into the men's restroom in a dress, hat, makeup, heels and handbag. Anyway, we do what we need to do.

    DeeAnn

  16. #41
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    the debate has not changed my approach. Time has. Initially I would still use the gents, but now I know i'm a transwoman and always presenting as a female, i go into the ladies, don't think anything of it, and therefore no-one gives me a second glance now.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  17. #42
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    Like KimberlyTX, who describes the issue well, I may not pass close inspection. But if someone glances at me as I am focused on walking toward a stall, I am credible enough that they won't do a double take from across the room. Many of us fit that same description. Bathroom bills make no difference in that event. Most of the time that I am en femme, I am in Washington or Colorado. Bathrooms are not an issue there.

  18. #43
    Member ClaudineD's Avatar
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    Having used facilities that match my appearance for many years, it is just presentation and obvious conformance to your environment. Take care of business and do not flaunt or linger in an environment that is geared toward "taking care of business"...... Confidence is a key factor....don't make yourself a target.......would your appearance on a genetic women cause a stare....think about it......PRESENT is day to day fashion and I can see no problem.....

  19. #44
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    If anything it makes me want to be MORE visable, so people see we exist ...now I live in the NorthEast and most of the time I am accepted, treated with respect etc...not sure how that plays in Mississippi but here its been fine...I also choose to use BOTH bathrooms just to test the waters a bit ..

  20. #45
    Lady in Being (7/20/17) AmyGaleRT's Avatar
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    Colorado's laws still protect me. I use the ladies' room as Amy without even thinking about it. I've never encountered a problem, not even in crowded ladies' rooms in shopping malls and a concert theater.

    - Amy
    Amy Gale Ruth Bowersox (nee Tapie) - "Be who you are, and be it in style!"
    Member, Board of Trustees, Gender Identity Center of Colorado
    aka Amelia Storm - Ms. Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2018-2019, Miss Majestic Hearts of All Colorado 2015-2016

  21. #46
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    Thanks y'all
    I really appreciate this thread.
    Here in TN the closest Kroger Stores and several restaurants have single person bathrooms (Kroger has a family bathroom.)
    That has served me well.
    Last weekend when I was in Chicago, I went into a local Jewell/Osco expecting to find the same thing. I surprised myself by turning around and walking the other way when there was just a men's and women's door. I had turned around before I could consciously decide to just go in the women's bathroom. I hope I will get over this in time, and, it was a good laugh at myself when confronted with an unexpected situation, my body just took over before I knew it....

    Peace
    Stevie

  22. #47
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    I have been to a function and thought that my drinking (very little) would allow me to NOT have to go to the ladies, but wait until I get back home. However, it did not work like that and I had to use the ladies toilet. Never had a problem at all.
    Touched up my make-up after amidst 3 or 4 females without any problems. Would I do it again if the need arose, then yes. Do not worry.

    Julie.

  23. #48
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    I have always considered using the women's restroom while attempting to blend as a high risk activity so I have always do what is reasonable to avoid the need. I know nearly every Starbucks has unisex restrooms and most salons are CD friendly so those are other options. A little planning, makes my outings less stressful.
    I think when dressed as a woman we need to be aware of those around us like woman need to do.

  24. #49
    Ice queen Lorileah's Avatar
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    we have now moved this type of discussion to a sticky at the top. Thank you all for your comments here
    The earth is the mother of all people and all people should have equal rights upon it.
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