...So back in January I posted a thread that stated that I was revoking my trans identity.
It's now well and truly revoked. And I've never felt happier.
That's not to say I no longer have a vested interest. I do. And that vested interest has resulted in my feeling annoyed at some of the threads that have appeared on this site since I last posted. (Yes, I have "lurked", yes I have even logged in, yes, I am still a member of this forum even if I no longer identify as a crossdresser. As transgender. As gender-fluid. Or whatever else you wish to call it).
Nonetheless, some things, or rather questions, still whirl around in my head. Things I would love an explanation for. Things that I feel others here who I've had a vested interested in in the past could maybe perhaps be able to answer for me.
One thing that I have thought about a lot recently is my own personal reasons for dressing. What the stimulus' were that resulted in me feeling a desire, need, intent, to dress. Two things came to the fore in my head in this respect. What resulted in me wanting to dress was seeing a very attractive woman, and thus, internalising her attractiveness and wanting to emulate it myself. What resulted in me not wanting to dress (and this will sound harsh, so I apologise straight away, but it's true, no matter how much I apologise), is seeing another crossdresser, either in real life or simply a picture on the internet. Because they didn't look so good, and as a consequence made me step outside of myself and realise that that was how I would look to other people. That is, I wouldn't look good. A little creepy even. Someone who simply looks out of place and awkward.
Then I read a thread on here in which a few women who have transitioned took part. A thread which resulted in a display of animosity from both sides. And it was, at least to me, an incredibly fascinating thread to read. And a warm glow developed inside me - a glow that realised my own identity as what is now best described as a cis-individual. And that felt simply wonderful.
You all have my acceptance, regardless of how you view each other. You all have my acceptance, for I was once a part of your group. But you no longer have my membership, for that is now revoked. And it's amazing just how much peering in from outside as opposed to commentating from within can alter one's perspective.
So with that said, I will be writing another thread soon that really gets to heart of my reasons for taking the path that I am now taking (just a heads up, it has nothing to do with religion). And I hope that, when you read my up-coming thread, you are able to at least understand and accept my reasons for writing it.
One final thing - I would like to say to you all who have engaged with me in the past, thank you. Thank you for listening. Thank you for your advice. And thank you for your acknowledgement. That is something that comes from a group of people who I respect and as a consequence is something that I will take to my grave with me. Thank you.
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
, Just do yourself a favor and Don't Purge.
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