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Thread: Concealer said to get out

  1. #1
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    Concealer said to get out

    I am seeing a counseler for something personal. Over time he found out about my cross dressing. He didn't froun but instead encouraged me to get out among like minded people. I said I didn't know where to look. He said he would look for me.
    Apparently he just googled crossdressers in maine and printed the results. Nothing in it was worth investigating more. It was all spam like date a crossdresser
    So if I counsler can't find anything how can i?

  2. #2
    Slip Into Something Femme Piora's Avatar
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    Doesn't really sound like much of a counselor. I wouldn't base my opinion about what you should do on this person, he sounds like a bit of a dead loss. Look for another one.
    "Taking the time to be in touch with my feminine side"

  3. #3
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    I have a state appointed counceler. I have no choice but to use him. Nice guy. Sucks at his job unless it's " in a book."

  4. #4
    Senior Member Diversity's Avatar
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    It seems apparent that either this is a counselor who is inexperienced, or that you need to find another one.
    There will be others out there who may be able to help you.
    Good luck.
    Di

  5. #5
    Genny iGenny's Avatar
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    Hi Susan,
    OK, so your counselor doesn't have the knowledge and maybe experience you need. This might be an opportunity for you to take the lead, do your research, and teach your counselor what you discover. Hopefully he can take what you've learned together and use his other skills to apply the new knowledge to help you.

    And the girls here are a great resource. Keep reading, keep asking, keep learning and keep teaching.

  6. #6
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    Why does this sound like a bad counselor? Why are several of you against this person? Because they can't find a way for a cross dresser to get out? Weird! I don't know much about counselors, but I kind of think this person is going above and beyond their job description by trying to find some place for you to go.

    BTW, as far as places to go - how about: movies, museums, out for lunch, a trip to the coast, hiking in the wilderness??????? All appropriate places for cross dressers.

    Personally I think you should thank this person for at least trying to find something for you to go do. That really isn't their job, social coordinator.

  7. #7
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    I never once said I dislike this counceler. Like someone said. He is going above his job.
    The problem I have is that even he couldn't find information about crossdresser clubs or some place I might go to find others I would feel comfortable with. He went for google to answer his question about crossdresser clubs. Btw. None in maine.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member LelaK's Avatar
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    Maine is said to be #12 of the best states for LGBT rights.

    There's a free dating site where you can find bisexuals at:
    https://www.google.com/search?q=site...bisexual+maine

    You can look or post in the personals section of craigslist.org. I see a few in the t4t part of the Platonic section of Personals for Maine.

    You can possibly meet CDs at MCC church. I met a couple at a Burbank, CA MCC.
    Northern Lights MCC, 1040 Riverside Dr., Augusta
    email: aelanpan@colby.edu
    MCC Portland - email: mccclergy@aol.com

    The DownEast Pride Alliance (DEPA) may have info on meetings.
    Gay Owned & Operated, PORTLAND, MAINE

    info@depabusiness.com

    GLBT National Help Center
    Provides free and confidential telephone and internet peer counseling, information and local resources.

    The 7 Best Towns in Maine for LGBT Families:
    Augusta, Bangor, Bar Harbor, Brunswick, Ogunquit, Portland, Rockland

    A group for LGBT friends and family in Maine: majordomo@queernet.org

    Many colleges have LGBT contacts.
    Last edited by Shelly Preston; 05-18-2016 at 01:44 PM. Reason: Phone numbers are not allowed
    T-shirt says: "Hi, I Crossdress!"

  9. #9
    Banned Spammer
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    As far as finding a group you would be comfy with that is your job as well don't expect him to do it all you have to help yourself too.
    Saying there are none in Maine shows that you haven't tried to look on your own.
    There are groups in every state and most larger cities all over the country.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 05-16-2016 at 05:25 PM.

  10. #10
    If only dreams came true. susancheerleader's Avatar
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    Yes. I hoped he would help. But it didnt. Do I fault him? Some what. Only because he said he would find something and he didnt. Depending on Google to help.
    I have done the same search many times. It failed.
    Yes. I should work to help myself. But I don't know where to start. I hoped I counsler would find something. He didnt. So now where can I look.

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member OCCarly's Avatar
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    Here, try this site: http://www.mainetransnet.org/

    And this: http://triessnewengland.org/

    The tri ess site has other resources listed on site. Most tri ess chapters organize outings for crossdressers and have regular meetings. They may also be able to direct you to a local group, or through membership there you may be able to find like minded friends close by to go out with.They also tend to have "local knowledge" about places that are crossdresser friendly.
    Last edited by OCCarly; 05-16-2016 at 06:19 PM.
    Carries a spray bottle of "pink fog" around with her in her purse at all times.

  12. #12
    Banned Spammer
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    You fault him because he can't find a group for you????
    How about you finding it on your own.
    People are giving you links left and right but I guess you want us to do the work for you.

  13. #13
    Member Erin Lafleur's Avatar
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    "So if I counsler can't find anything how can i?"

    Have you even tried? If that's the extent of your personal involvement then all the counseling in the world will not help you. Take some initiative...
    The most common form of despair is not being who you are. - Soren Kierkegaard

  14. #14
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    There are (or at least were) members of this site from Maine.

    And depending on where in Maine you are from, you can meet up with the Boston sisters who also run the "First Event"

    You could also got to Fantasia Faire in Provincetown.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  15. #15
    Dee DeeArel's Avatar
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    "We" are everywhere, out and about on a regular basis. You just have to search to find where those in your state congregate. Many go out to the bars on Saturday night in addition to group gatherings.

  16. #16
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    Susan,
    My counsellors both suggested the same thing ,I needed to get out and socialise, luckily a member of the forum told me about her group , thanks again Carole , so once a month I can jump in my car and enjoy an evening out.
    Counsellor's can only guide you , don't expect them to be a total cure all !

  17. #17
    Gone to live my life
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    Hi Susan,

    Getting out with others who are like minded is a good step forward so I would check out some of the links provided and when you are ready . . . head out and explore. WRT your counselor, it is likely he is not schooled in the area of gender identity as you noted you are seeing him for a personal reason which I assume is other than CDing. So he is likely as naïve about gender identity as the average Muggle.

    Cheers

    Marcelle

  18. #18
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    so in case anyone else is looking and cant find any its not that difficult:
    https://www.google.com/search?q=cros...+support+maine

    last night i went to my pflag group. they are awesome.

    https://www.google.com/search?q=pfla...utf-8&oe=utf-8

    i like the pflag group, it is a trans group and has friends and family so your out with peers and allies.

    just because your counselor did not find anything does not mean nothing exists, but i will tell you that the facilitators at my meeting are knowledgeable and have lots of information for resources available for LGBT folks. you may need to try a different professional.....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  19. #19
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    ok so coming to terms with gender identity is a very personal journey, and no one, but no one cares more about it than you do - A very quick search came up with
    https://groups.psychologytoday.com/r...te=ME&spec=187
    http://www.mainetransnet.org/
    http://tgguide.com/transgender-resou...tes-m-n/maine/

    You're going to have to do a lot of your own leg work
    Last edited by rachael.davis; 05-17-2016 at 08:08 AM. Reason: add on

  20. #20
    Platinum Member Beverley Sims's Avatar
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    I would go elsewhere and find a real counseulor.
    Work on your elegance,
    and beauty will follow.

  21. #21
    Silver Member Amy Lynn3's Avatar
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    My advise is to make friends here, on this site. I would attempt to PM members who live in the same geographical area, say in a 100 mile radius of you. Talk to them and see where they go. Many members here have their own private meetings apart from local organizations. These meetings work well and you meet different members and locals each time you attend. Get on a mailing list and when they have a meeting, you just show up and pay no dues.

  22. #22
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    On this very site there's a forum called 'places to go places to meet'. Go there and search on Maine. Here's one of the hits:

    http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ighlight=maine

    Maine's a big place (please, Texans, don't start) and I don't know if Ogonquit is near you, but it's a nice town and I understand there's a crossdresser meet-up there at least once a month, though I don't know where.

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