negative self image

[audreyinalbany]

I was going through some old pictures tonight...guy pictures...and haven't found a single one where I look halfway decent. It's bad enough feeling like your male self isn't too good looking, but it sort of makes me not want to dress 'cause I figure if I look like THAT as a guy...i must really suck as a girl.
My reason tells I'm just being overly critical....we all tend to criticize the way we look (we're used to only seeing ourselves in a mirror and seeing the camera's perspective is a bit of a shock)...but it got me thinking about my own negative self image, which in turn got me wondering how others on this site feel about the way they look in guy mode. Maybe girl mode is a way to avoid the cringe factor of what we look like in real life??. That having been said, I've seen some girl pictures of me that don't look so great either . Right now I'm feeling kinda homely in either gender.

[LelaK]

I think I'm getting a little better looking in "guy" mode, because my face seems to be less "gaunt"-looking than it long was. That makes me look old. At least my body looks rather good. I haven't seen my face in girl mode yet, meaning I haven't yet tried a wig and makeup. That's because I've only dressed alone for the most part and don't look at my face much. I think it'll be hard for me to look attractive as a girl, but I want to have someone give me a makeover sometime soon, to see if I can look pretty good.

Negative mood is okay, I think, because it means we're discerning and have good taste, so we aim high. We'll feel all the better when we finally succeed. We can improve ourselves in increments, so it doesn't get too overwhelmingly difficult.

[audreyinalbany]

thanks for that,Lela

[Judy-Somthing]

I'm 58 and back in December I dressed up and took some photos and was very unhappy with the way I looked.

I thought I'm getting to old to do this.

I wondered about what I could to look better.

I thought about how in the movies the can make a guy who you thought could never look like a woman look pretty good.
So on the internet I started looking into getting a professional makeover.
That's when I found www.crossdressers.com and joined.

I decided rather than spend money for a one day makeover that I would see what I could do.

So I went on a fem quest.

I started watching quite a few tutorials of (male to female makeovers) on youtube and all types of makeup tutorials.

I bought some more makeup and wigs and a halfway decent camera.

I feel I got a little better at this Play-Time-Dress-Up thing so I guess I can do it for a few more years.

[Kate Simmons]

I guess it would mostly depend on if the negative self image is on the inside or outside. I'm okay with both my male and female images.

[Tracii G]

You are used to looking in a mirror which is a reverse image of yourself.
You take a pic and you feel like you look different and this is because its not a reverse image.
Most pics of myself either dressed or not dressed I don't really like all that much but it doesn't make me feel bad about myself at all.

[heatherdress]

Audrey -You are not unique. There are beautiful models that have the same negative self image. You have some work to do and maybe you could use some professional help if your overall self image and confidence level are problems you are aware of. As for crossdressing, maybe you should start with what you do like about you when you are dressed. Do you look sexy? Do you like what you have on? Invest in new hair which looks attractive on you. Experiment with different looks. We all look kinda homely if we let ourselves be critical. Give yourself a break. Real beauty is the heart and spirit within.

[marlacd]

I have a hard time determining what a good photo of me is. I know what the poor ones are. (All too well) I've never had my makeup done professionally, but I'm more willing to do it by trial and error, and loads of reading up on it instead. It's the same as doing wigs. I wouldn't learn a durned thing about styling my wigs unless I did it myself.

Now, sometimes I have done my makeup and not liked it. A couple photos tell me a different story.

That's the beauty of digital photography. If you hate it, you can dump it.

[Allisa]

Funny how I used to hate having my picture taken for any reason. Partly because the technology back then was somewhat wanting. But now with my acceptance of myself I believe that any picture now shows my true self, two halves as one, only the clothes are of a different gender. Sure I am critical of them and my presentation but in the long run they show me as I am, the good the bad and the ugly(I can even hear the music). I can use them as a retrospect of how the world sees me, if only the outer me not the person inside. Now if I could just stop posting them on this site and leave room for the more youthful, good to the eye members. I still have fewer "male" pics as opposed to my femme self, maybe because I've grown up with that boy in the mirror and now want to get to know the girl although somewhat aged.

[Beverley Sims]

I was never gods gift to all women as a guy, but my girlfriends likes making me up and making me look great as a girl.

[carhill2mn]

I am just the opposite. I see photos of my male self now and I do not like what I see. I much prefer how I look when presenting as a woman!

[StarrOfDelite]

I'm thinking that you're talking mainly about how you look around your face and shoulders? It's my impression that every person in the world looks better with a good wig, a quality make-up job, and some good accessories like earrings, necklaces. As regards pictures, I think that for every good (i.e. flattering) photo of any individual on the face of the planet, there are probable a dozen which are unflattering. (Although Cindy Crawford may be the exception which proves the rule, since I think the ratio is inverted for her).

[Tracii G]

Out of 100 photos I may only like 2 or 3 of my girl self so you aren't any different than most of us.
I hate 100% of my guy pics I really don't know why but then again I don't obsess over it either.
You need to understand a lot of girls here use photoshop or other enhancing software to clean up their pics so they look better.
You could try that if you want just don't ask me how to use it because I don't have a clue.

[StarrOfDelite]

You need to understand a lot of girls here use photoshop or other enhancing software to clean up their pics so they look better.

True Photoshop is an expensive program, very few people have it on their home computers or laptops, and it is incredibly complex to use. The results can be fantastic, but expertise is pretty much limited to professional graphic artists and dedicated home computer wanks. At any Barnes & Noble you can probably find about two or three feet of shelf space devoted to books which operate on the them "How to Us Photoshop." and you'll wind up more confused if you read them.

However, almost all commercially sold computers come with a bundle which includes a program called Microsoft Office Picture Manager. It's a nifty little application which is easy to use, and has four main controls. The first is for brightness and contrast, the second is for color and hue, the third is for cropping, and the fourth is for resizing, so you can reduce a large photo to avatar size or vice versa.

Most home photographs suffer because people don't know how to properly use ambient lighting, backgrounds, and cropping. Also, many people take pictures as Selfies with their cell phones, instead of using a proper digital cameras.

The Office Picture Manager programs can improve dark photos, photos with confusing and distracting backgrounds, and photos where people's complexions are orange and purple. Almost any picture can be improved with this very simple-to-use program which is part of the original bundle on most computers.

[AmberCDinNC]

We *all* go through periods of uncertainty and doubt about how we look.

You bring up a good point about one of the pitfalls of crossdressing (IMHO). You *could not pay me enough* to post pictures of my first forays into dressing fully as a woman. Sheesh! I was completely convinced that I just wasn't built in a way that I could "transform" into looking feminine. It was constantly, "Yup... I'm a guy wearing a wig."... "Guy wearing makeup"... "Guy wearing a dress"... pull it all together and, "The next Ringling Bros. clown...". Despite the fact that I am male, I got *so* depressed at times because I just didn't look good--heck, didn't even *look*--like a female. I finally hit a point in my life where I refused to give up without first giving every effort to creating a decent femme look.

I'm not a beauty queen, but I'm pretty happy with the look I finally developed. If I don't walk, talk or move, I think I *might* even pass as a female. :-) Regardless, I now sometimes find it difficult being a guy. Simply applying a light layer of foundation and blending it well with a sponge takes 10 years off of my face. With makeup and contouring I can make my facial structure look more defined, my eyes stand out, straighten any imperfections and so-on. So yes--I, too, definitely have times when I don't feel the best about myself.

The one thing I did that helped both of my gender representations is getting healthy. BIG difference. You feel better, your body shape is better, your skin and most importantly your face looks better. Don't sweat the small stuff. There are seriously good-looking people out there with everything from acne scars to big noses to high foreheads and so-on. You just worry about being the best "you" you can be. :-)

Regarding Photoshop, just give it some thought before jumping in. I used to use a program called Paint Shop Pro to edit my images, and I quit cold-turkey after looking back at a few pictures I modified and thought I had done very well a few years back. They were embarrassing! It was obvious that I had modified them, and although they did look a bit better, they weren't great. Additionally, you want to see how you change/improve as time goes by. You can get *real* feedback from people on things to do, techniques to use and so-on to address concerns you have from a real picture. I know we all want to look our best, but if your end game is to create the best look for *you* in real-time, you're better off posting pics of the real you :-) I promise you they aren't going to be as bad as my first pics!!

[Dana44]

Starr, Photoshop is expensive, but there is a Linux program that will install on a windows system and it is called GIMP it works quite well, but it takes a while to learn it also as it is very powerful, Audrey, take some of those picture and try to doctor them to look better for you. Do you know that all of the models have their pictures enhanced also.

[Teresa]

Audrey,
If you feel homely at the moment go with that and try not to worry too much, it's more the way you come over to people that matters. As a professional photographer I had to make people look good in their own gender, what made a big difference is the clothes they wore, obviously they reflected their personality , brighter clothes make people smile so they come over as more outgoing and sometimes falsely more attractive or good looking.
As CDers it's possibly easier to look better because we can resort to makeup and a wig, so we have to try and get that right, our choice of clothes brings out our personality if we get that right then we should be happy . I will admit I would much sooner look like Teresa than the guy behind her, my wife always tells me I take a good picture, I guess it's because I smile which I struggled to get some people to do but it does make a difference.

Amber,
I found Realdraw Pro a great little package, it's much easier than Photoshop to get to grips with, but nothing beats PS for scaling pictures to the right size.

[nikkiwindsor]

Judy,

As I've commented earlier you do look absolutely awesome. And certainly we both have many, many, many more years of dressing up. I was like you in thinking the older I get the more difficult it was going to be to look beautiful. And then I realized I just need to work diligently to look my best regardless of my age. There's no stopping time and the years pass by more quickly as we get older. The latest inspiration that you can look good at any age is Patrick Stewart's recent transformation. Unbelievable and he's 75 years old! Enjoy the link below! Nikki


http://variety.com/2016/tv/news/patr...os-1201756481/

[AmberCDinNC]

I *love* Patrick Stewart! Thanks for sharing that Nikki :-)

Teresa--I've never used Realdraw Pro... is it a commercial package? I have been a Paint Shop Pro user for well over a decade. It's a very simple, yet very powerful, photo editing program although I'm sure it is limited vs Photoshop's. I actually bought it because I didn't want to support Photoshop and it's steep pricing. I eventually did own Photoshop (I bought the Creative Suite), but for what I was doing at the time I primarily used Illustrator.

[StarrOfDelite]

Since this thread seems to have been partially hijacked to become a discussion of computerized photo enhancement programs, I'd like to say a few things.

1. Thanks to Dana for the GIMIP reference. I'm downloading it now. I have an old version of Photoshop on an even older Mac, and it's getting harder and harder to deal with the fact that Apple no longer supports the golden Oldies.
2. The best way to get a good electronically modified photograph is to start off with a good original image.
2.a. If you have a friend, have them be the photographer.
2.b. If you're doing a photoshoot by yourself, set up a good background: I use a neutral colored sheet hung over a clothes line. and a contrasting solid color carpet.
3. Buy a couple of utility lamps(about 3-4 bucks each at Lowes), the kind that plumbers and carpenters use to illuminate tight spaces, and set them up as flood lamps, then set up a couple of table lamps to fill in the shadow spaces which will be created by the floods. The whole idea is to create a shooting theater where there are no lighting dead spots which will create harsh shadows.
3.a. Use incandescent bulbs, which have a warmer, friendlier light than fluorescents.
4. If you can afford it, get a good digital camera with a remote control. Set it up on a good tripod, the kind that raises, angles, and rotates.
5. Take as many photos as you can within the time limit you have. Most photo shoots, even professionals, result in the discard of about 90% of the images.