I feel fine as a man. I just think that presenting as a woman is more fun.
I feel fine as a man. I just think that presenting as a woman is more fun.
Hugs, Carole
No, you asked:how does it feel to be a male ???Originally Posted by mikell
BIG difference. Now, you bash those who do not give the answers you want. What answer are you expecting. Just provide that and ask who identifies with it and be done.
You started off with a different question for CDs - "What does it feel like to be a male?" - which probably has an infinite number of answers. Then you make a weird assertion that the "Obligation to provide for and take of my family" is not a male trait." Then you added confusion by identifying as "third, fluid, queer, whatever the term du jour". And then changed the thread entirely by describing a search for "the 'man in a dress' who likes to do it. never feel like a different person when you dress, don't feel i share the soul of a women, dont care about sexual feelings when you dress, just trying to pin point if you identify as male CD how do you feel male".
Sorry, but I don't get it, Mikell. This is more than confusing and our responses reflect the confusion.
It does seem like you are looking for a discrete population of crossdressing people who you seem to put in a simple, negatively-described box (don't take care of family, no feelings, no sexual feelings) - and you want them to describe their feelings - as a male? Why? And do you think anyone fits in that small, miserable box - and wants to share what minimal feelings you seem to think they have?
Mikell,
Can you rephrase your question.
Do you mean if you feel your a male and have no feelings or desire to be a woman then what dose it feel like to be a male dressed as a woman?
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
Judy,
If you want a simple answer to that it would be stupid !
As I said in my previous reply if I were just a man I wouldn't be a CDer, so it has to be linked to female feelings for us to do it even if it's sexual.
I did answer some time ago that I don't see the World through totally male eyes, my thoughts have to be affected to some degree by my female trait so to answer Mikell's question is impossible for me and probably many others.
Teresa,
Don't misunderstand me I'm just asking what does Mikell mean by (Just a CDer)
"This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
Much more fun than fishing.
I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?
I dress because I love the clothes and, because of this, I don't feel female, even if I look so. I am happy to be male as I get a better feeling from wearing the clothes than a woman does. I only have one personality and nobody comes out to play when I dress. I don't mind being called he as I think a man should be able to wear what he wishes.
Judy,
Ive PMd you to explain what I meant, it was not a personal attack just a comment my wife would give me because she thinks I would look stupid as a man in a dress .
Being an old bachelor, that never got a chance to have a steady girlfriend, or SO, or wife, and being very hard working poor all my life, I can say, now, it is lonely, lots of sorrow, grief, feeling disenfranchised, like a loner and loser, despite working very hard on hard physical jobs. not wanted or needed. 62, now. Thirty yrs ago, I still had lots of hope, and was new in 12 step adult children recovery, was 2000 miles form my toxic family of origin, playing lots of basketball, and softball, hiking, fishing. Had not dressed since age 14, actually dated some, mainly women almost old enough to by my mothers, though. The toxic family of origin, kept having crises, and i kept having to worry about them, then, in 1997, my mom got hurt, had to move back here. Moved back out west, and in 2009, got a call that my older twin brothers were busted on felony charges. Was forced to move back here to care for my now extremely difficult 95 yo dad, who always resented me. I had restarted dressing in 2005. My life as a man is very sad, feeling more hopeless, as mind and body are aging fast from stress of caring for my resentful father, and dealing with my older twin brothers who also resented me my whole life, and dealing with my toxic older sister, who hates males, and has severe emotional , and physical problems, is in emotional incest with me and my dad. If i had ever come out as Alice to any of them, it would be hell to the nth degree for me here. Being a male to me, has been mostly , painful and sad, lonely. Sadly, my own father and brothers have been jealous of me all my life, in spite of my sorrowful life. I see Ggs socializing so easily, hugging so easily, smiling so easily, and enjoying families, children. Though, part of me would have liked to become one, i was always poor, and in a church that though, gave hope for the future life, dismissed Cdin and Tg , TS, as perversions. But, i never could live up to be what women in church, or elsewhere were looking for: too poor, lacked confidence, had no positive family, too much sadness. How it feels to be male CD? Escaping the prison of being a loner, poor man, with no SO, and enjoying the sense of being a lovely lady for several hours, or a day.
Last edited by Alice Torn; 05-18-2016 at 10:20 AM.
I love being a male. I have no desire whatsoever to become a lady. now if I could snap my fingers and be a pretty woman I'd do it. but that's fantasy, so I am perfectly fine as a man
That's simply not true.
Enjoying wearing clothes of the opposite sex or liking feminine things doesn't mean there has to be a female identity??
Be careful you don't wander into a sexist mentally, attributing feelings via gender. There lies a danger of looking for reasons because deep down it's hard to admit failings.
Eg If a man likes frilly clothes and soft materials he doesn't have to compartmentalize it to a 'Female side' to avoid accepting it harms the 'male side'.
So what if a man likes frills, pink and soft fabrics? He can still be strong and masculine. By denying it can be a masculine trait buys into the gender stereotypes which in turn further marginalises Trans people.
This site has a lot more of those in the middle but the vast majority of CDers are men that get enjoyment out of wearing female stuff or feeling sexy. They are very much men but men with either a fetish or interest.
Is it any different to the people that regularly go to Comic type gatherings in costume.
We don't say "Well he regularly enjoys going as Chewbacka, he MUST have Wookie feelings!"
Er no he just really likes Chewbacka.
I believe Mikell's question is aimed at this group so if you don't fit that category please respectfully don't respond.
There is so many threads discussing dysphoria and levels of female identity what's so wrong with a thread speaking to those that don't have those issues?
It's an interesting question even if it was worded a little confusing.
Perhaps a question like:
For those of you who Crossdress and don't feel they want to be a woman or have female identity issues, how does CDing impact on your sense of Masculinity and do you still see yourself as a typical man?
Last edited by becky77; 05-18-2016 at 04:23 AM.
Mikell.
I have read your OP and your later 'clarification' of what you were asking several times and I still have no idea what you mean. Jennifer's earlier comment is valid.
How does it feel to be male? While I may come back to update this, in brief, it's a feeling of responsibility. From a very early age, whenever dad left, I was told that I was the 'man of the house', and I was to take care of my mother and sister; it was suddenly my responsibility to make sure the doors were closed and locked, the lights weren't left on, that there was coal in the boiler. Nevermind that I was only a few years old; this responsibility was thrust on my shoulders. As I grew up, the responsibility for everything was always assumed to be mine. Everything was assumed to be my fault unless proven otherwise. As a young kid, that's a hard life to live up to. We are also responsible for ourselves; we are expected to stand up for ourselves, and be willing and able to fight to the death for our honor, even as a child. We are expected to know what is right, and what is wrong, from early childhood as well; ignorance is never an excuse for a male. As we get older, it doesn't change. When we date, we're expected to know the formalities, know what to do, know where to go, what places are appropriate and acceptable, we're expected to automatically know how to dance, automatically know everything about sex, and we're responsible for the success of it all going well. We're responsible for the safety, entertainment, and protection of our date, and that will continue in marriage. As adults, we are responsible for the maintenance and safety of the home and our family. We are responsible to be providers; while women MAY work while married, if the family falls into financial ruin, it is assumed to be our fault, our responsibility. If our girlfriends or wives are unhappy, it is assumed to be our fault. Even when they cheat on us, they blame us for not being sensitive enough to their emotional needs, again, it's our responsibility. If we don't earn enough, we're lazy. If we spend too much time at work earning, we're not considered spending enough time with her and the kids. In divorce, we are also held responsible for the financial support of everyone involved, whether we ever see them or not. To be a male is to be in a no-win situation in many parts of our lives.
So in brief, to be a male is to be responsible. For everything.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I feel like me. A relatively ordinary hard working, guy that does his best to take care of his family and those things that support his family's lifestyle. (i.e house, vehicles, education etc.) Not a perfect human being by a long shot but on balance, better than many. I just happen to have this quirky little pastime involving women's clothing. What more do you want?
wow, so ive got sum "splainin" to do,
OK to be honest i saw that their was confusion after some who wanted to to post which i had endorsed and then retracted in a very early reply. #2 i believe and then #5
that prompted my reply for post #7, in post #9 heather said:
which prompted my attempt to clarify what i was looking for, it was heathers 1st post here, obviously she may not be aware of all the terms and nomenclatures of the site so now their is that.I know what its like to be me , and I know how I feel when i'm dressed as Heather but I dont know what it feels like to be you.
in between members referred to semantics and articles, i was looking for each members own personal feelings of what it feels to be a man, a male, not how one feels as a cd, not how one may relate to women, just your personal identity of how you feel as a male.
then jennifer states
my original question still stands, as i explained i was trying to give more clarity to the original inquiry, bashing ?? apologies if anyone is offended by my inquisitive question or lack of writing skill, i mean no implication of disrespect to anyone, just following thru with a previous thread asked in another section......this is not something i can answer for anyone, its a personal feeling......for me to do so would be pretty presumptuous of me.
but jen i do think its unfair for you to pull 6 or seven words from my post #16 and compare it to part of my original post, of coarse it will have a different meaning. their was a whole paragraph and list of items of explanation.
heather again my apologies, sorry that it confussed anyone, this question of coarse is to only CDs, i tried to clarify and make rules, how we all identify is a personal choice, i make no assumptions why or how folks come to that decision.
i dont know why you find my assertion weird, "Obligation to provide for and take care of my family" i assumed that care was missing from the original quote by jen, this is absolutly not just a male trait, are you saying that women shirk this obligation ?
by sharing how i identify was to clarify why i wanted only folks who identify as "just a cd" , then went on to use terms that others here have used to describe themselves, those who self identify as "man in a dress", "never feel like a different person when they dress", if they have sexual feelings when dressed i didnt think it mattered if they identified as "just a cd".
yes i was looking for a segregated population of the CD class, and i dont think i condemned, ridiculed, or judged them in any way, "dont take care of family, no feelings"?? this is all about feelings that i want folks to share, that i dont feel is right for me to make for anyone, i think your making some unfair assumptions in what you think about me and the question.
im sorry i didnt want to make another attempt at defining this, to be honest buy the time you posted i had already asked a mod to close or delete this topic, i saw that i had taken my eye off the road and was guilty of distracted posting and wanted to cut my losses and maybe revisit this at another time. i thought three strikes and im out.
hi becky, i thought it was going to be interesting too.....but its ?????
one last try:
if you dont identify as anything other than a CD,
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay
how do you feel as a man,
not the action of CDing
not how you relate to women
not how you feel persecuted by society
not how you think your supposed to feel
not how you feel like a women when you dress
how you feel as a man,
so yes now i changed the question.....and respectfully ask if this does not describe you please refrain....again no disrespect for not being all-inclusive, trying to use a dart, not a cannonball....
Last edited by mykell; 05-18-2016 at 08:15 AM. Reason: womens prerogative
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!crossdressing...theirs an app for that
I started out as a cd'er, went through my life thinking this and for the last 15 years of my life I DON'T IDENTIFY AS MALE, I MUCH PREFER FEMALE AND RESPOND IN THAT FASHION.
Molly
"To thine own self be true"
This is the term I really go by... Just a crossdresser... For some reason when I feel I need to relax or get away from stress and the real job of being the grown up male in my family I dress up. I have always felt comfort in the feeling of smooth clothing. It feels great to be dressed in silky under garments and for some crazy reason I just take the dressing to the full limit of makeup and those terrible walking shoes called high heels. Fully dressed takes my mind away from the stress that a dad has of supporting a family. I have found I enjoy the comforting clothes and being someone else for a while. I am not out and about when dressed to the top, thus I can sit in my house and relax just pretending I'm being someone else. Not feeling I have to pass makes the dressing fun. I can get as exotic, sexy, or trashy as I want. I guess its role playing to relieve the responsibility of making sure everything goes good for the family. I still hunt, fish, weld, drive a tractor, work cattle, and do all manly the things that my dad taught me. Mom I guess taught me the softness of being female. Her clothing was the old style silky slips, girdles, hose and the joy of putting on makeup.
I love being just a crossdresser and I love my cross dressing time. I also love my manly time, and plus being retired I really enjoy the best of both worlds.
Mikell,
Cannon balls work better than darts. They just don't say "ouch" when you throw them.
"...How does it feel to be male ???"
Wow what a unique question... After dabbling into the "CD" lifestyle and in that there are millions of different definitions of this I can only relate how I feel. Because I don't fully dress and only underdress because of a thousand different reasons. Mainly because of the fact that I am not out yet. And a nine year old man child. I have to be the Alpha Male most of the time. However when I do get my chances to dress or underdress I try to act as feminine as I can. Now this is only from observance, or what I perceive as feminine. I hope it is close, though I am sure that I am not. When I take off those clothes and put them away or in the dirty clothes hamper. I feel as if a part of me is being put on the shelf. Watching me as I put on other drab clothing... Sometimes. Most of the time I just change clothes, I am always "male" I was born a male worked in a mostly dominated male job for 24 years. Since I have never been a female I honestly cannot answer to give a contrast.
The closest I can come to an answer is. "I feel like me."
@--}-----
Michelle
I am
not fluid
not trans
not TS
not BI
not gay
I feel I exist, same as any other human labeled man or woman. I have things I wish to accomplish and I like to make others happy.
I am proud of what I have accomplished.
I assume other humans wish to do the same.
At times I feel sad, at times, happy.
A list of words associated with feelings is at http://www.psychpage.com/learning/li.../feelings.html
I feel them at times. I think all humans feel these things.
Are you trying to ask if, as a human labeled man, that I feel certain ones stronger than a human labeled woman? How would I know, if I must apply "not how you think your supposed to feel"?
I enjoy deep thoughts, Mikell, and not trying to disrupt the thread as I do like to help others, but I am not sure what kinds of answers will actually answer your intended question.
Ellen
just be yourselves....its not a test....
Last edited by mykell; 05-18-2016 at 09:48 AM.
....Mykell
i dressed like a girl and i liked it!
Well said SM. There are seldom addressed hazards to being born male. No wonder most die younger. But, in my case, my selfish, immature, anti social father is still going, still making his sons life miserable, as 95. My sister was spoiled, but i was emotionally abandoned by my dad. The agony of being a loner loser, poor man, stuck caring for his toxic dad has brought me on the brink of suicide a number of times.
Hi Teresa!
Thanks! If only getting more "T" was that easy. Yeah, I'm suffering the same way a women with low "E" would be suffering, hot flashes and all!
Lisa
I like being a man. The strength, the mechanical abilities and manliness of being me is something that my wife and I both enjoy. I like building things and doing "manly" things and if I were wearing a dress or other female items it distracts me from my goals for whatever I might be trying to accomplish. I have done those sort of things in the past and this is how it turned out. So I do female things as Joyce and rarely manly things as Joyce. Not to say some manly things may pop out by accident or visa-versa occasionally....I guess you'll have that. lol
Jenniferathome--I saw this post and was intrigued. I was going to jump in and give my two cents, but you pretty much summed it up!
I really think that I enjoy CDing to the extent that I do because it allows me to shift my way of thinking--albeit for a short period of time--but it's enough :-) I know it's the 21st century, but I feel the weight of all of my obligations every second of every day; it's just who I am and who I was raised to be.
I feel great as a man. I am happier because I am a man by choice. And that choice only came to be about 3 1/2 years ago when I discovered crossdressing. Now I get to choose and once a week or so I get dolled up and have some FUN. Then I choose to return to my guy life. Yes I could be enfemme more. I could even transition. But I prefer to be a guy with the benefit of experiencing the world enfemme a small, by choice, part of the time.
So because of CDing I am happier as a guy. That and I lost 40lbs, shaved off a full beard, shaved off some ugly body hair, and I get to be with my beloved SO too!
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