Would you date a CD/TS?

[Krististeph]

No. I'm kind of past 'dating' though.

I like girls.

But for fun or hanging out, as a friend, yeah.

Dating implies sex or intimacy. Sorry, i do like girls.

[Sharon B.]

If we connected yes I would.

[Lorileah]

The same standards apply to GGs. I'm quite picky.

Then I see no reason you had to say it. It would be implied you were attracted, yes? Sometimes what you say can be a window into your soul.

[marlacd]

This went farther than I expected. The only reason I used the term cd/ts, was to open this thread up to all who wanted to express an opinion. I saw lots of passionate responses from many intelligent people. If you'd like to align yourself to a specific term, please do so. I just wanted to come up with a new topic, that would encourage discussion. Obviously, I did.

[Rhian]

Then I see no reason you had to say it. It would be implied you were attracted, yes? Sometimes what you say can be a window into your soul.

It was to distinguish myself from the type of man who in interested in a TS purely because they are a TS.

[Charlessa]

I answered this earlier but will now go into more detail. I'm bi. I love women and am not attracted to guys at all. but I like the sex. so as far as trans/cd dating. yes absolutely. I'm highly attracted to CDs with the right looks. tgs in my area are quite rare. now as far as dating I suppose not. I'm not trying to let the whole world know of my bi ways. but a relationship. most definitely. I've been seeking this kind of relationship awhile now. someone to hang out with and dress with. discuss our mutual loves. the sex part could be cool too but optional

[Zooey]

Because, again, it's totally gay for a man to date a trans woman. You know, because we're men. Obviously.

It's nice to know you'll have sex with us though, as long as you don't ever have to acknowledge our existence in front of anybody else.

eye_roll.jpg

[wanda66]

I wouldn't date a label i prefer afeeling person ,who respects me for whoi am.

[Marcelle]

If a TS has not had SRS and has sex with a male, that's gay sex. Your brain can tell you that you are a woman, you can call yourself a woman, and others can recognize you as a woman, but a male cannot become a female by declaration.

Ouch . . . I guess this describes me . . . a delusional sort who thinks I can call myself and woman and "poof" I become one. Oh . . . wait a minute I did not become a woman, I was always one. Yes nature in it's cruel way decided to give me male physiology and a brained wired female and that is my cross to bear. But your contention that I can't call myself a woman until I have SRS is not sound and to be honest the same garbage I get from transphobic people (male and female).

You might not think I am women because I have male physiology and you can argue that for eternity but I am a woman and you will never convince me otherwise anymore than I can convince you that you are anything then you say you are.

Marcelle

[Piora]

The thread seems to have deteriorated from a discussion about whether or not any of us would date a crossdresser or a transsexual, and turned into a heated debate about the definition of a woman. We should really get it back to where it was without all the harshness and bad feeling. Not that some of it isn't likely justified.

My input was that I would date a transsexual, but only if she met the criteria that attracts me to ANY woman. "Dating" does not necessarily equate "sex". I want to meet someone sweet, intelligent, kind, understanding, honest, humourous, and attractive. To ME. I really don't care whether or not she's trans. As far as any concern about genitalia, well....that doesn't define whether or not she's a woman. She is who she is in her heart and soul. I would only worry about the SRS if and when the subject came up. Or if the relationship became a serious one. But, I'm not going to miss an opportunity to be with someone wonderful, just because of it. This is a lonely enough world for so many of us, to really be bothered about that.

[Dana44]

I have dated trans and found them to be the most feminine and always thought of them as women. Although a relationship is called gay. It was still between a man a very feminine woman, just different plumbing. On real GG's I have never seen one as feminine as the couple trans that I had. It was impressive to find that feminine person and experience it. Although I am a crossdresser I am not that feminine but as feminine as many women that I know. They were ultra feminine and it showed. Very respectable.

[flatlander_48]

No, I doubt if my wife would approve...

DeeAnn

[Anneliese]

There seem to be some here who think this whole CD/TS thing is black and white.

i.e, You're either CD (MAN) or a TS/TG (WOMAN).

I just can't believe there's anyone who thinks everyone is so easily defined. Perhaps some are. They know who and what they are, and it is very clear-cut.

As one who has often been told I can be black and white on certain issues...which I disagree with, by the way...I am certainly not when it comes to gender identification.

I would not date a CD who considered themselves a manly man full-on hetero type, and they wouldn't likely be interested in me. However, a gender-fluid CD who was perhaps effeminate but had no intention of transitioning, I would.

I would date a TS/TG, whether transitioned or not, while I carried on in my melange of gender identities.

I'm sure I'm not alone in not being 100% certain what I am or who I'd be interested in. Women turn me on, but in my case, women covers: CD/TS/TG/GG, and yet my last girlfriend and activity was over ten years ago. (She was a bisexual goth, by the way. Both my last two girlfriends were bi. The other is now living with a FtM gentleman)

I am often reminded of the movie "The Crying Game". I fell in love with Dil thinking she was a woman. When she revealed herself, I was surprised, but would not have acted the way the lead character did. I would have continued making love to her, without question, and would have absolutely wanted to continue seeing her. I told my last two girlfriends upfront about those feelings.

[Mayo]

Yes, I would.

[CONSUELO]

If there is mutual interest and enjoyment of one another's company; why not?

[flatlander_48]

If a TS has not had SRS and has sex with a male, that's gay sex. Your brain can tell you that you are a woman, you can call yourself a woman, and others can recognize you as a woman, but a male cannot become a female by declaration.

Sorry, that doesn't make sense. For one, I think you're mixing sex and gender. The other is that having a diagnosis that one's degree of dysphoria is of sufficient magnitude to warrant transition does not mean any sort of affirmation surgery is automatic. There are many people who are not candidates for affirmation surgery due to high risk medical issues, financial resources, life situations, etc. If they were to have affirmation surgery, I assume that it would likely remove the dysphoria that they have but I doubt if they would be "more female" as a result. Psychologically, I think that they are already there, independent of having surgery or not.

DeeAnn

[jenni_xx]

Paula, your comment about your partner regarding your penis as a "big clit" intrigued me. So, your partner has to pretend that your genitalia is something that it is not? I have to ask, why is it that your partner has to pretend that your very real penis on your very real body, encasing a very real woman, is something that it actually is not? Why would your partner need to pretend at all? If he did in fact regard you as the woman that you so clearly state that you are? That penis would simply be a penis on a woman, not a clit (which it isn't), and he would embrace it just as he clearly embraces every other part of you, mental, physical, emotional, etc.

[Suzanne F]

I had not read this post yet, only heard about it. No wonder many TS women are upset. I just had SRS so I guess I am now a real woman. No! I have been living as a woman for a year. I have been a woman all along. If you need a TS to have had SRS to be attracted that is your right. But to say that she isn't a woman until she has a vagina destroys the exact gender identity freedom we are hoping to create here. Love on who you want with whatever equipment you want. Just leave the self labeling to each person as a human being.

[Zooey]

Paula, your comment about your partner regarding your penis as a "big clit" intrigued me. So, your partner has to pretend that your genitalia is something that it is not? I have to ask, why is it that your partner has to pretend that your very real penis on your very real body, encasing a very real woman, is something that it actually is not?

I discussed this a bit already, earlier in this thread. Given enough time on HRT, for many women (though not all) it becomes functionally very similar to "a large clittoris". I understand what you're saying, but there is a very real biological basis for that comparison. Masturbation for me pretty much requires a vibrator at this point, because I literally couldn't effectively do it "the male way" even if I wanted to (I don't).

[flatlander_48]

It's also just a slang term...

DeeAnn

[PaulaQ]

So, your partner has to pretend that your genitalia is something that it is not?

Not anymore, but he needed to do it for me, for one thing. I had a great deal of gender dysphoria about my genitals. Treating them as best he could as female anatomy helped me be a lot more comfortable. The only reason I mention that is that he was attracted to me and has always seen me as a woman. But my anatomy was really different than that of any woman he'd ever been with. So he just treated me like he would any other woman, and things worked out just fine.

A lot of trans people need to be approached that way, a lot don't.

My only point was that even arrow straight people can work around anatomy if other more fundamental things are right.

[Georgette_USA]

Just a quick answer for now.

Not sure if I dated at all, in a strict idea. Prior to SRS never dated, but did have some one on one with one CD and a BI-Gay guy. I also went with another Pre TS all the time, some sexual mostly not, we basically became partners. We went many places together some in male mode but most not, some LGBT clubs, some not LGBT clubs. Not sure if that would be called dating. It was not exclusive as we were still experimenting.

After SRS I went with a Butch Lesbian on/off, guess it could have been dating. Also did non LGBT clubs, mainly men but never dating. I got tired of all that after ten years and my partner and I just stayed together as two women.

Now I would not have a problem dating anyone. CDs, Pre or Post TS MtF or FtM, or men.

[Adriana Moretti]

I have dated CD's before....its fun.....

[Mayo]

Treating them as best he could as female anatomy helped me be a lot more comfortable. [...] A lot of trans people need to be approached that way, a lot don't.

This is important to understand. A significant fraction of trans people do not care to be reminded that their genitals aren't what they should be, so to call them by the biologically correct terms would be hurtful to the individual. For other trans folk it's less of an issue.

[Tabitha_Sinn]

I would! But if we lived together, I must insist on *two* bathrooms! I couldn't have her hogging all the bathroom time!