CDs Only - Why are we a hierarchy?

[Samantha_Smile]

Just chiming in with a direct response to the OP.

I'm not sure there is a hierarchy. At least not in my mind.
I don't feel that TS women are anything like CDs, atleast not enough for their to be a hierarchy. I mean sure, both are usually genetic males, both born with a penis, both wear clothes intended for the gender opposite to that which their genitalia denotes.
But that's all.
TS women are women. They aren't wearing the clothing of the opposite gender, they are wearing gender appropriate attire, where as CDs wear clothes of the opposite gender.
This you already know, or at least I hope you do - This is at least how my mind separates the two, and I'm aware it's the broadest of broad strokes.
I could go on for days about the differences between the two but that's not the point I'm making.
Now I do think that many CDs might have the misguided opinion that TS is like graduating from CD school.
I see this mindset a lot on omegle, chatrooms, even in this forum. And I think it comes down to one factor - lack of education on the matter.
Yeah, I know, in this age of the internet, your only excuse for being uninformed is laziness. So if you don't know, a little known website called google can help you out.
http://bfy.tw/5x3Z
Come back when you've read and understood everything on the first 2 pages of results

If I sound sarcastic, good. Because if you took offence then it was probably aimed at you.
And if you took it with the humor it was intended, then you may already have searched the same thing a few times yourself.

Honestly, I don't feel that their is a hierarchy. Could just be simple ignorance that looks and feels that way?

[JayeLefaye]

...

Many of you have said that your primary reason for e.g. wanting to come into the TS forum is to learn about our experiences. While there are a lot of things we DO post in the public TS forum, there are a lot of personal struggles that are discussed in private.....

So, I guess what I'm interested to know is... How much do you really want to know?

Hi Zooey!

There ya go again, being honest and open:-)...And thank you for starting this thread, because I think dialogue/conversations are vital. I believe, in my heart of hearts, that if we were all discussing these issues in person, then 97% of us would find our "commonality"...Not our "sameness", but our respect for each of our Diverse Journeys...

I've ventured into the TS Forum a few times, just so that I could read what you all have gone through, and to gain an appreciation of your struggles/battles/etc...But I went there with the intention of "read only", and to educate myself.

With that said:

I know that there is a "sticky" there titled "Ask a TS"...Sorry, my laptop is glitchy, so I might not have the correct title, but can't swap back to verify....But the "Sticky" was started in 2013.

Perhaps, it is time to add a new "sticky"?....Similar to the way the MtF added one recently regarding "The Bathroom Laws"???

Something along the lines of:

"Hey CD's...Or GG's...or...ETC...Or anyone else who has a question, here's a safe place to have a dialogue and ask questions without any flames being thrown at you, because the bottom line is that we all appreciate each other's support"

Okay, I realize that that is too long of a title for a thread:-)

But you asked "How much do you really want to know?"

And my "personal" response?

Regardless of how much I think I've learned over the years, I am always open to learning more!

As volatile as things have become here in the U.S in the last couple of months, I think that a new "sticky" in the T.S Forum would be appreciated by us CD's...And others...

....Especially now, with everything here in the U.S. escalating.

Other's struggles may not be my struggles, but we're all struggling together...And "together" should be the operative word.

Just my 2 cents...

"God bless us, every one"...Tiny Tim via Dickens.

Jaye

[heatherdress]

I'm still not planning to comment directly on any of things I've read here, although it's been very interesting to read. That said, I wanted to highlight this statement in particular. Sarah is not the only person in this thread to have said something similar, but this is the briefest, most direct version of it I've seen in this thread, and I think it sums up the way most of the trans women regulars here feel.



I have some followup questions, based on what I've read here.

Many of you have said that your primary reason for e.g. wanting to come into the TS forum is to learn about our experiences. While there are a lot of things we DO post in the public TS forum, there are a lot of personal struggles that are discussed in private. So here are my questions...

1) Do you feel you would benefit from having more of those struggles discussed in an area that is publicly viewable?

2) Would you feel the same way if some of our discussions were about struggles to understand you, or difficulties (both intellectual and practical) that some people feel CDs and gender-fluid people can cause for us in certain cases? Some of these discussions could sound fairly critical.

3) Do you think that, if you read something covered by #2, you could refrain from fighting us on it?

Speaking for myself, I would be more than willing to start sharing some of my personal experiences and opinions on things in much more direct ways. Believe it or not, I don't actually do it very often here - I debate much more often than I share. I respect that it is a moderation challenge, especially when people get angry/hurt/etc., and there have been casualties associated with this type of discussion already.

So, I guess what I'm interested to know is... How much do you really want to know?

It is interesting to note that you specifically began this thread asking for comments from crossdressers only - and yet it is apparent that this has been rather hijacked and has become more of a defensive commentary suggesting why transsexuals members feel justified to diminish crossdressers. Even your new question Zooey puts transsexuals on a pedestal. Again, this is a crossdresser forum, isn't it? Although individual transition struggles are interesting, encouraging and sometimes heartbreaking, we already have so many threads hijacked by personal transition experiences, feelings and opinions, why would you think crossdressers would want to hear more? Why do you think crossdressers would want to read more threads about why you struggle to understand them?

There already is a Transsexual Forum so why do you think the MTF Crossdresser forum should be the place for transsexuals to specifically share their struggles and experiences and vent their feelings about crossdressers, which happens over and over and over.

What you are suggesting would be more divisive and generate more hurt feelings and disagreements.

[Zooey]

Breaking my rule for a second... Heatherdress, what is your deal? I get that I've clearly pissed you off, but I think you're reaching pretty hard at this point to find offense in what I write.

I only asked the question about people wanting to know more because it specifically came up a number of times from CDs in this thread. I actually was talking about us writing about more personal stuff, and more openly, in the public TS forum. So, we can do that, but sometimes our personal struggles involve or are impacted by CDs. I don't want us to start sharing more openly in public if the only outcome is even more hostility, because it's not worth it for anybody at that point.

Now I'm going back to staying quiet and just reading as a fly on the wall.

[Stephanie47]

I really have not the impression trans women are superior to men who like to wear women's clothing. I followed another thread that seemed to bring out some really big disagreements. Maybe, there's a little fighting going on in the PM's. I don't know. I am a male who likes to wear women's clothing. I am a male. I am not a trans woman. I have no desire to become a woman. I love being a male. I have accepted the premise that there are men and women who were born into the wrong body. Me? I can take the dress off anytime.

I have a friend whose grandson is struggling with his sexual identity. He's in depression. He has lost friends. He's young. He cannot figure out if he's a gay man or a trans woman. My wife has a cousin whose daughter is transitioning surgically to a man. Those people are struggling. Me? Again, I'm comfortable as a man, and, I just like to wear women's clothing on occasion.

Once or twice over the years some trans women have made the comment to me on PM or in a thread that, essentially, "You don't get it!" Contrary to their beliefs, "I do get it!" Being a trans women or a trans man or a gay man or a lesbian woman is not a choice. It is something inherent to the inner mind. I cannot believe anyone would intentionally set themselves up for abuse in society. In the USA you may be shunned or made fun of. In other countries you may be executed.

When I started reading threads on this forum, and, later joined I noticed maybe there really needs to be two separate sites. Cross-dressing does NOT equal trans women. Sometimes I think trans women who are struggling with acceptance must be just plain shaking their collective heads when they read threads about what color panties someone is wearing today.

Oh, just in case someone will jump on me, I realize there are many on this site in "flux." They cannot figure out where they fall on the spectrum. A lot of angst, but, is it due to the inability of getting ample time to wear the clothes or is it because they cannot figure out whether or not they are trying to suppress who they really may be?