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Thread: What gives CD a bad name.

  1. #1
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    What gives CD a bad name.

    Was visiting with a GG in our town. She was telling me that she had just gotten back from three days in Vegas. She said it was great till her and a couple of friends were walking down the strip and she saw a guy wearing a dress. She said that didn't bother her as bad as she thought it would, but she was set a back when this guys dress which was very short in the first place either blew up or slipped up high enough for his private male parts to hang out and he just got a kick out of the GGs staring at him and his parts. This lady was telling me they finally regained their composure and walked on by to a show. After the show the same guy she said was outside on the street wearing an even shorter skirt and he left nothing for the imagination. She continued telling me that her and the women she was with just couldn't believe what he was doing. She then said these men that want to be a woman need to be arrested and thrown in jail. I kept my mouth shut as I had no comeback for this type of behavior that she and her friends witnessed.
    I am telling every one this as I am wondering how you feel about our presentation? CD's are trying to be accepted as good folks that are reaching out to their other gender side and men like this are hurting our cause. If your out on a side walk for goodness sakes leave our fantasy attire in the bedroom and try to be dressed presentable. I know that in Texas if a guy shows his private parts on a sidewalk he would be arrested and thrown in jail. Anyone feel differently?

  2. #2
    Silver Member ClosetED's Avatar
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    I would consider that person as a genderF**K. Most here who label themselves, when forced to use a label, "just a CD", would not want their male parts exposed when out in public. Most want to blend in public, or for those who want to be discordant, still would be tasteful.
    Or maybe he is a male prostitute showing his wares for those who want things a bit different.
    I think it gives the rest of us here a bad rap.
    Hugs, Ellen

  3. #3
    Adventuress Kate Simmons's Avatar
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    I feel you should be presentable regardless of what mode you employ. Some bit of modesty goes with that. The problem is we can't control other people and unless they are found breaking the law, can do little about their behavior. Don't give them an audience as that is what they want.
    Second star to the right and straight on till morning

  4. #4
    Member Alexa CD's Avatar
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    Honestly I'm surprised they didn't report him to the police.

    Presentation is exactly the thing that gives crossdressers a bad name, despite what some people feel. I've said it on another thread that disappeared, appearance and being accepted come hand in hand, it's the only way to be taken seriously, like it or not. The community (Including the trans community) image and reputation takes alot of collective damage due to reckless people who do not care about what people think.

  5. #5
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    A little over a week ago, I attended a Meet & Greet for one of our local Transgender groups. With Tribe and allies, there were maybe 25-30 people in attendance. This was a Sunday late afternoon event in the office space of one of the allies. Folks were dressed mostly how you might expect; low key and casual. One person, who had just relocated to this area, was in hot pants, tank top, 5" platform heels and jewelry sort of flying everywhere. Personally I don't really care, but you would have to think that the outfit was more suited to nightlife than Sunday afternoon daylight. I was able to talk to her briefly. She seemed nice and I would have liked to continue the conversation, but her ride came.

    I guess the moral to the story is that people probably should be aware of the kind of attention that they might attract.

    DeeAnn

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member StarrOfDelite's Avatar
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    1. It sounds to me that the individual who exposed himself was probably exactly the type of "crossdresser" whom the Haters have in mind when they obsess about male perverts dressing en femme to gain access to ladies' restrooms.
    2. This person was only technically a crossdresser, in the sense that anyone who wear clothes of the opposite gender is a crossdresser. I don't want to get into a long discussion of exhibitionism, which is obviously a recognized psychological disorder, but this is typically done only by males who identify as males. It's been theorized that these individuals perceive themselves as being inadequate as males, and display their genitals as if to tell the world, "I am a Man!"
    3, I think that it's unfortunate that your friend jumped to the conclusion that this person's desire was to be a woman, as this undoubtedly was not the case. He probably chose to dress in drag as a way to attract attention. You probably did the right thing by not trying to correct her, since I rather expect that she had that attitude about CD's and TS's before this incident, and it only reinforced her prejudices.
    4. Your friend did the world a disservice by not calling the police. Exhibitionist sexual behavior is a crime in all fifty states, and usually the only way that a person who is an exhibitionist gets the proper medical treatment is if the police and judicial authorities get involved. Exhibitionists usually don't stop exposing themselves without the intervention of some external agency, either the state or family/peer pressure .
    5. Whatever happened to the rule that, "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?"
    Last edited by StarrOfDelite; 05-23-2016 at 11:47 AM.

  7. #7
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Don't throw the baby out with the bath water. And, don't assume everyone is like the one person they just met.

    I've met and seen literally 1000's of dressers. And, other than a few bulges, none of them had their genitals visibly hanging out. If that was indeed a CD, she was also into exposing herself. For her own pleasure or, in Vegas, profit.

    It sounds like u think u can't discus this with that woman without outing yourself, Jaylyn. If u haven't met many other CD's, maybe u can't. However, u mite mention reading/hearing a lot about CD's from Caitlyn.

    Or, u can just let it go. There's no way to clear those disgusting images from her mind!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  8. #8
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Exposing one's self and crossdressing are two different things (that in this case went together). What about the woman that recently breast fed at a wedding reception? Is she giving mothers a bad name?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  9. #9
    Full Geek Status Adriana Moretti's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alexa CD View Post
    Honestly I'm surprised they didn't report him to the police.

    Presentation is exactly the thing that gives crossdressers a bad name,.
    I totally agree....and I see it myself every once in a while. it is a very amature move, and one we all have made at some point ( i was guilty of rocking 6 inch hooker heels in public too once ) .....but now it gets under my skin...and you gals hit the nail on the head, dress accordingly to the situation . Gals sometimes feel though they need to explode with pink fairy dust by wearing ALL the most girly things ALL at once and tend to look like hot messes who should be working the street corner, it is embarassing .
    One time I was headed to a club in Philly, and we were meeting a few gals there, we met them in a parking garage a few blocks from the place. One of the gals looked like a total hooker..well..ok 2 of them...one was WAY over dressed ( peacocking) in a total sequin outfit that was more suited for a mardi gras parade, and the other looked like a street walker who had on too short of a dress , a garter and thigh high stockings. We had to walk a few blocks through the busy sat night streets of the bar area of philly to get to our destination. I knew this was going to be interesting, so I kind of drifted far, far in the rear to stay clear and also act as the ( backup) in case there was a problem as we began to walk ..they created alot of negative attention for themselves, and i witnessed it from the rear, everyone was so busy looking at them that nobody even noticed me. It was just embarrasing though..

    I could go on for days on the style ( or lack of ) that i have seen. Like Easter Bonnets and Spring Dresses at casual places, to gals who look like they are dressing like the woman they idolized in 1984, and its 2016, There is a time and a place for everything though and that outfit the gal wore in vegas sounds like it should have been left in the closet, and only to be worn ( in the closet)....

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member natalie_cheryl's Avatar
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    I feel like if you're going out in public you should try to be as presentable as possible however is there a possibility that this personal was doing something forced maybe as part of a B&D S&M scenario I mean its Vegas

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Jaylyn,
    I can't help feeling she was trying to pick someone up, if you did a count of how many would want to go that revealing I'm sure you'd only need one hand to count on. Maybe her thought was if you can't get away with it in Vegas where else can you ?
    It is a shame she wasn't reported, Vegas does have so many visitors it should have been stopped .

  12. #12
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    I agree those types (op) know they are looking like a hot mess and showing their guy parts and thats what gets them off.
    Is it right or acceptable? No its not and they do it anyway.
    Types like that are using us as a platform to do their quirky fetish in public. Showing their guy parts tells me this person is not a CD'er just a perv.
    These pervs do give us a bad name.
    If I were out dressed and came across one of these guys yes I would say something to them.
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  13. #13
    Gold Member Dana44's Avatar
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    When I was in Vegas, one who came in from another country was in a very short skirt. She went to a club and was pestered so bad that I saw here in slacks the rest of the trip. We were friends and she said that she learned a lesson. But that person on the side walk was mentally challenged and probably should have been picked up by the police for indecent exposure. Even a girl out there showing her privates would be a large problem for our prudent nation.
    Part Time Girl

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member aprilgirl's Avatar
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    On a related subject, my wife and I were at Be All, which was our first time attending any type of tg convention. On the first night, while taking a break from the dance floor, we witnessed one gal having an especially good time kicking up her heels, wearing a short dress that belied her age. She had chosen to go commando that evening, which neither of us were trying to determine, but couldn’t help but notice. All I could say at the time was ‘It’s a broad spectrum”, and fortunately, my wife knew that.

  15. #15
    Transgender Person Pat's Avatar
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    I kind of agree with "it's a broad spectrum" -- we may not like all the people under our umbrella, but we have to deal with them. Also you can't know the accuracy of the story. The best move is just to find a way to say that you've heard that few CDs are like that. I also agree that that sort of thing is a total amateur move (assuming a non-hooker.)

  16. #16
    Gold Member Jaylyn's Avatar
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    I like all the replies but with me not being out in this small town it was tough to stand there and just listen. I did tell her what Starr said about What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas.
    I love dressing sometimes in very sexy dresses that are probably way too short for my age as my wife says but I don't go out. We play dress up and have fun but this woman is a friend of ours and probably saw some great shows in Vegas and I'm thinking all she came back with was this vision in her head.... Of a cross dresser. My insides wanted to say something but I just acted disgusted right along with her...standing there shaking my head and acting like I couldn't believe she saw a disgusting CD. I'm just a big old chicken really inside I guess.... Lol

  17. #17
    Member Alexa CD's Avatar
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    There's nothing much you can do now though, and I would advise against bringing it up again. Don't worry about it, if I was in your position I wouldn't have had so much to say either. It's just one of those situations where you think of a good reply later. I probably would have said something in a surely not kind of way, you know, say something that puts both of you back into a neutral position where you can both equally assume that they're not all like that.

  18. #18
    member stacycoral's Avatar
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    This is why i don't like the term Crossdressing, because anyone that wears anything design for the other sex( to be nice), can say i am a crossdresser or i am out crossdressing just because i wearing female or male clothes. That is why i call myself a T-girl, i heard men say look at me i am crossdressing because they a skirt or female top on. I sorry to hear about your friends, Thanks for bring this up Jaylyn. hugs.
    [SIZE="3"][/SIZE][SIZE="3"]Stacy Lynn Coral[/SIZE]

  19. #19
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    We have to remember too, that most respectable women would feel the same way about a GG who was wearing a skirt so short that she wound up exposing her genitals. So it wasn't just about it being a man. It was about someone being crude to the point of being disgusting, and it made her mad that someone would do that, man OR woman.
    However, the part about her feeling that he should be locked up may have only been a knee jerk reaction to what she felt was a guy making fun of women in general, his insult being that he was parodying attractive women's behavior in an inappropriate manner.

  20. #20
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    He may have been a cd, but never rule out shock value or attention seeking. This is the same for any group from GG to drag queen to goth. They can do more harm for the group in 30 seconds than can be repair in several years.
    Sara

  21. #21
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    I'm not going to excuse the behavior of the person. but being it was the Las Vegas strip there is a possibility this individual is one of those street prefformers that is inappropriately dressed in all manners. They dress and do things to shock poeple like the guy on Fremont wearing only a banana hammock. I can't say for sure this is the case for sure but a Def finale possibility.

  22. #22
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    People from all sorts of communities and groups sometimes do very inappropriate things. It is unfortunate but we cannot stop it. Look at what many college students do over "spring break". Look at the web site that purports to show shoppers at Walgreen's who are dressed very inappropriately.

    There is little we can do about it and thank goodness most people have the sense to understand that one badly dressed or badly behaved person is not representative of the entire class. Also, look around you when you are out in public. Most people dress really badly anyway. Today I was behind a young woman going into a pharmacy and her choice of clothing was appalling. I didn't then make the illogical jump to say that all young women are like that.

    Your comeback should have been to perhaps mention some other examples of bad behavior by other members of the general public.

  23. #23
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Men that do such things, remind me of the kind of guys, that run onto pro sports fields, disrupting sporting events. Or, sports fans who throw bottles at ball players, or start fan riots, making all fans look bad.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN. See my photos and videos on FLICKR - Alice Longstems.

  24. #24
    Silver Member Tina_gm's Avatar
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    While there are many of us that do blend in and are hardly noticed, sadly it seems that the ones who are most visible are the ones who are CDing for some cheap dirty low sexual thrill. I remember seeing a horribly dressed CDer in Salem Mass. Middle of the day, dressing exactly like a 20 y/o poll dancer, or perhaps a very unclassy version of party girl, also of about the same age. Yet, the CDer was likely in their mid 50's if not later. Hard to tell with nearly clown make up on. To say they didn't blend in, fit in would be an understatement.

    So, people who think of CDer and only see that, well, that is the only thing they are going to think of when they think of CDing, or pretty much trans anything. Ru Pauls drag race.... Jerry Springer..... the list goes on and on and on. On the CD end of the spectrum, while many of us do want to or are getting out, we also try to bring very little attention to ourselves. And let's face it, many of us do not go out at all. And also lets face it, we are a very small minority (all trans together people combined). Soooo.... This is what people see mostly, and when this is all you basically see, or at least recognize seeing, the attitudes are really not very surprising at all. CDers are not always our own best allies.
    Chickens should be allowed to cross the road without having their motives questioned

  25. #25
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    I've learned to say to each his/her own. I've been with some CDs who say let me see just how short I can skirt this skirt and get away with it. And you know what, if that's what you wanna do, go for it. It used to make me uncomfortable, because I always try to dress appropriately. You can be classy and sexy simultaneously you know.

    Now this person skirted it to a point it's against the law, last I heard exposure is a criminal offense.
    Speaking of which I got similar responses from a friend of ours who works vice. He's all for gays but told us he draws the lines at what he called "trannys". He apparently encounters many on the "stroll" who let is all hang out so to speak. He thinks they all are like that. Paints us all with the same brush based on what he experiences daily. It is what it is.

    But at the end of the day I can only be responsible for me, and if I didnt have gender issues myself, after this kind of programming, it could very well be me with these negative attitudes towards "those people".
    Last edited by bimini1; 05-23-2016 at 05:46 PM.

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