Lose the battle, win the war?

[Robin414]

I was reading the 'Stand up for yourself' thread and I applaud the OP, just passively taking disrespect doesn't help our cause at all, I get it!

That said though I remember one trip to LTS en drab (a while ago, I shop en tween these days 😊 ) and without all the details let's just say the SA made it clear she wasn't impressed with my choice of flats (black leather Steve Maddens, super cute with skinny jeans and nylons!)

Anyway, I seriously thought about making a formal complaint and would have gotten her in some nice hot water but instead I just smiled and took my purchase on my way (and anonymously slashed her tires in the parking lot 😊 )...Kidding!

To the point though, I realized that given the circumstances I'm not going to 'convert' this person and figuratively 'punching her in the face' would win the battle (oh boy, did I wanna win the battle) but when she flames out on Facebook she's likely to reach a lot of 'undecided' people and turn them to the dark side out of sheer anger.

I surrendered that hill knowing it'll make those down the road a little easier to win!

Kinda looking for your thoughts on how BEST to deal with 'hatfull' SAs.

[Leslie Langford]

"Hateful SA?" I wouldn't know...in 8 years of being out and about, I have yet to meet one of those rare specimens, although like the Sasquatch, the Loch Ness Monster, and the abominable Snowman, they are reputed to exist as a result of numerous unconfirmed sightings.

Maybe I'm living in a fool's paradise along with the rainbows, the lollipops, and the unicorns, but despite the terror that we all feel about somewhere, sometime having a really negative experience when we least expect it - and one that will send us scurrying back into the closet - it hasn't happened to me yet.

Have I been read from time to time? - Sure. Did I ever find myself waiting for the peasants brandishing torches and pitchforks to descend upon me and show me the error of my ways? Yep. But has it happened to me yet? Nuh huh!

All I've ever experienced so far has been kind, helpful, and respectful service, with some SA's even going the extra distance from time to time to help me in finding what I was looking for. Have some of them made disparaging remarks behind my back as soon as I left? Probably, but such is human nature and in reality, you can't win them all.

Then again, what I don't know can't hurt me and as long as they treat me with dignity to my face, don't ruin my day, and let me continue to live my fantasy of "passing", I'm perfectly fine with that.

[Kate Simmons]

Like throwing a rock in a pond, our actions will cause ripples. "Stirring the pot" may sometimes result in a "stew" that doesn't taste all that great.

[Rachael Leigh]

I too have yet to have any negitive responses to me while out most everyone I've encountered has been very pleasant and those that I could tell who might have looked funny at me or just been uncomfortable I just smile and move on, it's amazing what a friendly smile can do.
I don't think it really helps to make a big stink over things about service unless it would be the same poor service you might get en drab.

[Jaylyn]

I feel this ( and remember this thought is from someone that does not go out dressed) if you were in drab and you got bad service or a scowl from the SA while buying more drab clothes, would you have cause a ruckus? We shouldn't be treated any differently by SA's in drab or dressed. There job is to help folks with the selection of goods the customer is purchasing and to help the owners of the company to make money. They are not doing their jobs by being unhelpful or giving their opinions, or scowling at what one buys. JMHO .... whatever happened to the old saying the customer is always right. That's unless the customer asks for help or their opinions.

[MarciManseau]

Maybe just smile at her and say, "I'm sorry you're such an unhappy person," then turn and walk away.

[ClosetED]

So if you meet an SA with a prejudice, and they use the opportunity to make you feel bad, you might win the war by making them feel bad, but you need to do this by not hating you, but what they just said.
What if you are prepared with a comeback - "I happen to be a secret shopper for (the store/the state discrimination agency/Consumer Reports/etc). I won't mention your name but this will look bad for the store. Sorry."

Thoughts?
Ellen

[Robin414]

Hmmm, now that is a good comeback Ellen!

[docrobbysherry]

Since I shop in drab, I've never had an issue. Many men shop for ladies things these days.

Interestingly, the SA's often used to quip, "For your wife?" But, I haven't been asked who they're for in 5 years!

[Tracii G]

I have only met one that was the wicked witch of the west and she was an older SA in a VS store.
I was in drab shopping for a bra and panties I proceeded up to the really nice panty area and this old hag said we don't allow men in this area.
I said OK but you don't have to be so mean about it. I had some other items I was going to buy but I was kind set back by her attitude I just set them down in front of the cash register and walked out.
Would I walk out now? Oh hell no I would act like she wasn't there.
Most store SA's are very helpful and friendly.

[Mollyanne]

Since I shop in drab, I've never had an issue. Many men shop for ladies things these days.

Interestingly, the SA's often used to quip, "For your wife?" But, I haven't been asked who they're for in 5 years!

Hello doc, I love it, I mean I LOVE IT WHEN A SMARTASS SA ASKS ME THAT QUESTION AND I ANSWER YES, ITS FOR ME, IS THE COLOR OK?????

Molly