As I was walking home from sharing a few beers with male friends for some reason I became aware of how I walked. It’s a man’s walk, which I suppose is hardly surprising. It has it’s own rhythm and gait and I felt comfortable in myself as I strolled.
I began to contrast that in my head with how I walk when enfemme. As you’d expect differently but also when out there, just as comfortable with me.
It’s about this point the word duality came to me. I don’t see myself as in anyway Trans. I suppose you could argue that I “Transform” from one public image to another but the preferred terms such as transgendered just then didn’t seem to fit.
Duality seemed to be a more fitting description. I like both the male and femme me equally. I feel as much a female when dressed enfemme as a male in drab. I don’t have to think about switching mannerisms, it just happens. One half is always aware of the existence of the other but in some way in the same way you’d be aware of a sibling or even twin.
Today I’ve a rare chance to dress for a few hours and yes, just getting dressed switched on the femme walk and gestures. No conscious thought, it just happens.
So is duality a good way of expressing how you feel? Does this resonate with anyone else?